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touchemall
145 Posts |
 Posted - 05/22/2011 : 18:55:06
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| What do you do with kids at the lower ages of travel ball who basically fall apart if they do not get a hit or get on base every at bat? Do the coaches bench the player and explain to the parents why he is there? What (other than maturity and not taking the game so serious) can a coach or even a parent do? |
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2011 : 19:43:28
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Holy moly. This is something I've battled since t-ball. Part of it is maturity in that they will SOMEWHAT outgrow it. The rest is just in-grained in their chemistry bc they are perfectionists and hate failure which is the recipe for disaster in baseball unless they learn to control it.
We still know kids that we make a joke about "making them cry" or "make him throw his helmet" bc we know that's what will happen if that kid strikes out. We talk about how silly it looks to throw a tantrum yet sometimes one gets away from us and the same thing happens.
If you can figure it out, find out what motivates them. For mine, it's money (sorta). We started an arrangement earlier that every time he displays negativity/anger/rudeness to a teammate or coach/tears unless bones are sticking out or bleeding...then he owes me $5. There was a sum of money we started with and whatever is left at the end of July is his to keep. We had some "docked" pay in March and April, but May is so far so good but SOME of that (maybe all) is that he threw his helmet after grounding out on 4/30 and his coach told him if it ever happens again he'd be on the bench for a month. It's costing me money, but I like the end result!!
Hang in there...
Oh, and you want them to take the game seriously so they work to improve themselves but please don't let him turn into a robot. The totally unemotional ones worry me. |
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Hiredgun
44 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2011 : 21:48:24
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Touchemall,
It doesn't get any easier as they get older. Believe me, I coach a 14U team and we have attitude issues, too. The problem as I see it is that the players have set such high expectations that it is almost impossible to acheive them.
I tell our players that baseball is set up as a game of failure. If your performance at the plate is average that means you hit .500. 3 for 10 or 4 for 10 is great but it is below average. The bottom line is this.....baseball is a game of peaks and valleys. It is easy when you are on the peak but a player's "salt" is determined when they are in the valley. What do they do to get out of the valley and clime the hill to the next peak. That is where a ball player should be measured.
On our team....you show disrespect to an umpire, coach, player, etc. you will get pine time. No questions asked.
Good Luck. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 08:43:47
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I think a lot if it depends on the age and parents. I have no problem with a player exhibiting some frustration - heck the game is frustrating!! We have a few no no's one being throwing equipment, and another being poor sportsmanship. Crying - well, what to do?
BIG difference in the context. We have a few boys on our squad who are a little soft emotionally and can get caught up in the frustration. When it becomes habitual we rely on the parents to correct it, because it becomes infectious to the group. When it reaches that level, I think it becomes an opportunity for teaching - ie. game suspensions. You can't teach attitude but you can correct it |
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Outtahere
43 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 09:35:20
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| Pine time for attitude and disrespect is a must! When you only have 10 on a team that can be hard though and sometimes they figure that out. Emotional it depends on the situation. Some kids care too much and take it all on themselves and get frustrated by their teammates that don't care enough. It is a struggle to get a good balance. I expect it comes with age. Mine is only 10 and he does get emotional when he messes up, we are working on it! |
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Hiredgun
44 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 09:36:30
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| We tell our players that attitude is a decision. Players better check that attitude at the gate when they arrive. You can't coach attitude. Ramman999 is correct.....attitude can become contagious to the others. It is best to nip it in the bud before it starts to grow. |
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 09:54:41
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| I 100% disagree that it doesn't get better with age. My nephew has always been the most emotional kid on the field, and it has gotten better year to year. Some boys just HATE failure, they put the weight of the world on their shoulders with every pitch or every AB....They will outgrow it or they will pick another sport that moves at a faster pace. It is tough if you are emotional to regain your composure when you have to go sit on the bench after a strikeout, where in basketball or football there is another play almost instantly. One thing that made the emotional issues go away is ensuring he is on a team with depth, not necessarily a team that doesn't lose. If he can't get it done on the mound it helps we have 3-5 kids who can give it a shot, not just one or two and maybe none left on Sunday. Same with hitting, if out of your starting 9 you have 6-7 really strong bats those boys will take pressure off of each other. |
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itsaboutbb
164 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 10:30:36
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| Saw a coach a few years back, were if a kid threw equipment he had to wear his batting helmet the next time he took the field. |
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 13:01:51
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quote:
Originally posted by itsaboutbb
Saw a coach a few years back, were if a kid threw equipment he had to wear his batting helmet the next time he took the field.
LMAO  |
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reallycoach
64 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 13:12:42
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| It does get better with age. The fact that a kid sits on the bench head down after a strink out, missed play or pop out doesn't mean they have a bad attitude, it means they are competive and hate to lose. This gives them time to reflect and gather thier thoughts; nothing wrong with this, we all do it when something goes wrong. It's how they move past this when it happens that is the concern. Now throwing equipment, grippiing at team mates, upms, coaches is a coaching opportunity for the entire team. Whatever you chose as the tool to correct this, make sure you use it consistently. Too many times a player is benched for throwing equipment, or being sassy yet the ace gets a pass becasue his parent would be upset, you might lose the game or god forbid he chose to leave the team. To this coach I say grow a set or coach chess this isn't the place for you, you aren't capable of teaching young men becasue your focused on a trophy case. |
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Peanutsr
171 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 15:05:28
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| There's no crying in baseball. |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 16:35:26
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| I think a lot of us are guilty of forgetting that these are kids. They are in the process of learning more during their first 20 years than they will most likely learn the rest of their lives. First born kids tend to be perfectionists and don't deal with failure naturally. Kids that have been the cream of the crop through rec ball and all-stars struggle to deal with the failure rate at the higher level. I think it's our jobs as parents and coaches to teach them how to deal with the ups and downs of the game of baseball and hopefully they will learn to transition these lessons to the trials and tribulations of life also. |
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loveforthegame25
448 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 18:19:01
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| It better be getting better with age! If your son wants to play for someone other than daddy he better correct the attitude issue. |
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WFBaseball
70 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 22:35:23
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| I am still laughing out loud about the helmet in the field!! Hmmmmmm |
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tripleplay3
3 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2011 : 23:10:01
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| There is no place for poor sportsmanship and helmet throwing. The problem is the parents letting little Johnny get away with this behavior at home, school, and sports. I was assisting on a 13u travel team that had a kid that was always throwing his helmet. The head coach never corrected him although a few umpires thrreaten to throw him out. He threw a helmut once and almost hit me in the head. I immediately layed into him like there was no tomorrow. Problem solved, he didn't throw another helmet all year. Parents - step up and raise your kids correctly. |
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coachdan06
433 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2011 : 13:14:01
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kids are about the same as always been , just handled different these days , many coddled.
helmet throws - your out of the game do it again youre out of the team and dad have his money back here's why , you embarass the whole team and if your coach ignores it he really is your enemy , you dont have to grow up n can be a brat. thats no good
emotional child - yeah Ive heard that label too and its always an excuse for the coach not to have to deal with the kid or worse the parents who are no picnic either
remember - the apple dont fall far from the tree ! |
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11UFAN
149 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2011 : 14:42:32
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BanditHawk makes some very good points.
To me the important thing is not necessarily whether they get "emotional" or not, it's the recovery time, or said a different way, how it affects their play after the error or bad at bat.
I want my son to be pissed/upset if he screws up, I just don't want the mistake to make him suck the rest of the game.
You guys are being a little harsh on the helmet throwing, bat slamming, dirt kicking thing (IMO). My son graduated from getting upset to getting mad this year. I would much rather see the recent emotion. Most of the time (his coach may disagree :))) he wants to get back up there and swing/throw a strike/make a play, last couple of years it was crying and saying stuff like "I stink", "I'm in a slump". WAH WAH WAH.
We watch alot of baseball and there is alot of frustrated anger by college and pro players. This is not an excuse, just an observation.
The one thing that bothers me is when a kid says "that wasn't a strike" every time they get caught looking. I keep telling my son "the ump's opinion is the only one that counts and what about the first 2 strikes?"
Let's face it, this game is like no other. Fail 65%-70% of the time and you make it to the Hall of Fame. Perseverence, grinding it out, working your butt off playing all the time..Do all this and maybe you fail 60% of the time.
Great life lessons for those who can handle it, excruiatingly painful if you can't!! |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2011 : 09:08:14
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quote:
Originally posted by 11UFAN
To me the important thing is not necessarily whether they get "emotional" or not, it's the recovery time, or said a different way, how it affects their play after the error or bad at bat.
I want my son to be pissed/upset if he screws up, I just don't want the mistake to make him suck the rest of the game.
Great Point - recovery is more important - we try to keep our dugout positive, and I do not mind anger as long as it is self directed, and is being used in a motivational manner.
quote:
Originally posted by 11UFAN
The one thing that bothers me is when a kid says "that wasn't a strike" every time they get caught looking. I keep telling my son "the ump's opinion is the only one that counts and what about the first 2 strikes?"
This pains me more than the crybaby routine - ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE LOOKING!!!! They look back and mouth "that was outside" or stand there with their mouths open. Funny, those are the same kids that get rung up looking a majority of the time. The kid that has a good eye and rarely strikes out, I give the benefit of the doubt to - the kid constantly getting rung up, different story...
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11UFAN
149 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2011 : 10:22:48
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ramman999-"the mouth open" comment is both hysterical and right on point! My kid did it a couple of tourney's ago and I was so pissed off that I had to leave the dugout before he got back in there. When other kids do it I just laugh because the look is priceless (painful as you say but still priceless)
After I had a chance to get some "there just 11 year olds" perspective from a mom or two I calmed down. Now I want it on videotape so I can show him how ridiculous he looks when he does it!LOL I would make him watch it a million times... |
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klhmlh
42 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2011 : 11:55:55
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| I still LIKE the helmet thing!! |
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RACGOFAR
208 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2011 : 14:24:26
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Lots of good posts on an all too common issue for most teams. Frustration and anger have to find a way out of the body and more importantly the mind. With emotionally charged kids that is even more true. Yelling and punishing them will correct some of that behavior but it also makes them play tight and apprehensively. They will start to fear failure when what they need to be successful is to not be afraid to fail. But you do have to draw a line on meltdown behavior and throwing equipment and crying about your production on my teams has earned players front row seats on the bleachers on more than one occasion.
They need a way to process what they are feeling. Heck, we all do. After a bad at bat, I tell my boys to keep their gloves and batting helmet on and sit on the bench and process it until they can let it go. When they take off the helmet and gloves, it gives them a physical action of letting it go. On defense I tell them to leave their fielding glove on for the same purpose. Some have adopted this and cope very well.
If you let one player melt down regularly without consequences you will have a team full of melt down kids in short order. You want players to be in control of and focus on their performance and not be upset about their production. Performance is how they go about playing the game. Production is what happens after they perform. They have 100% control of performance. They have ZERO control over production.
My observation of my team and other teams is the meltdowns happen because players are focused on the production. Its selfish for players to be focused on production during a game and then melt down. It hurts them, hurts their teammates, and hurts the team. No wonder they melt down. They are upset at something they have no control over! If a kid gets rung up looking and he comes back in the dugout mad and says "I should have offered at that pitch" he is focused on performance, taking responsibility for his performance and processing his disappointment in the right way. If he comes in and says, "that was not a strike" he is focused on production and not taking responsibility for his performance.
Disappointment and failure can be effective motivators or they can effectively kill your ability to perform and compete. The player has to decide what affect they will have on them. If a player regularly melts down over production, then he should probably play on a lower level team until he is mature enough to handle the failures that are inevitably more common the higher the level of play. |
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jongamefan
218 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2011 : 17:15:13
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RACE : you got it all here !
Selfishness relating to ones production or lack of - then hurting rest of the team is at the top of my pet peeves.
At any age that includes 40+ 
quote:
Originally posted by RACGOFAR
Lots of good posts on an all too common issue for most teams. Frustration and anger have to find a way out of the body and more importantly the mind. With emotionally charged kids that is even more true. Yelling and punishing them will correct some of that behavior but it also makes them play tight and apprehensively. They will start to fear failure when what they need to be successful is to not be afraid to fail. But you do have to draw a line on meltdown behavior and throwing equipment and crying about your production on my teams has earned players front row seats on the bleachers on more than one occasion.
They need a way to process what they are feeling. Heck, we all do. After a bad at bat, I tell my boys to keep their gloves and batting helmet on and sit on the bench and process it until they can let it go. When they take off the helmet and gloves, it gives them a physical action of letting it go. On defense I tell them to leave their fielding glove on for the same purpose. Some have adopted this and cope very well.
If you let one player melt down regularly without consequences you will have a team full of melt down kids in short order. You want players to be in control of and focus on their performance and not be upset about their production. Performance is how they go about playing the game. Production is what happens after they perform. They have 100% control of performance. They have ZERO control over production.
My observation of my team and other teams is the meltdowns happen because players are focused on the production. Its selfish for players to be focused on production during a game and then melt down. It hurts them, hurts their teammates, and hurts the team. No wonder they melt down. They are upset at something they have no control over! If a kid gets rung up looking and he comes back in the dugout mad and says "I should have offered at that pitch" he is focused on performance, taking responsibility for his performance and processing his disappointment in the right way. If he comes in and says, "that was not a strike" he is focused on production and not taking responsibility for his performance.
Disappointment and failure can be effective motivators or they can effectively kill your ability to perform and compete. The player has to decide what affect they will have on them. If a player regularly melts down over production, then he should probably play on a lower level team until he is mature enough to handle the failures that are inevitably more common the higher the level of play.
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Emotional players
