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nocrying
7 Posts |
 Posted - 05/13/2012 : 11:23:39
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What is the opinion about the kid on the team, at this age, that either cries, whimpers, or snivels in every game. The only one and supposed to be in a leadership position.
Should he be benched? Ignored?
It brings everyone down.
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AndreaS
8 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 14:07:18
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| As I say regularly to my own children - there is no crying in baseball! I certainly make an exception for injury related behavior, however, crying because you struck out, or because you had a good hit and a play was made, is unexceptable to me at this age. It is time to man-up. 12 year olds that cry at every little thing make it difficult on themselves and everyone else. I say let them ride the bench, and send them out of the dugout until they can get themselves together. Nobody wants to deal with the kid who falls apart everytime a mistake is made. They need to let it go, learn from it, and move on. |
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is it spring yet
30 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 14:51:42
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| The way I explain it to my kids and have since early on it that threre is not one thing that goes on on the field that is worth crying about, at the end of the day it is just a game. I think when kids have a problem with it there is usually alot of pressure being applied from somewhere. At 12 I believe it is unacceptable. |
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resumetoproveit
85 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 15:19:54
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| I coach 11u and it is not acceptable. The pressure is the key like the above post mentioned. But I see and know coaches at al age groups that are inappropriate in their actions, words and coaching. It works both ways. It still has to be fun and key on development. Look back to a past post of mine where my father turned my coaching around for the better and the funny thing was I thought I knew more than the parents that pointed it out to me before my dad did. I was influenced so strongly by an ego driven coach that I had become just like him and what I know now I did not want to be. I lost great players because of it and friends. |
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 17:15:33
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God bless the coach who at 12 u takes the time to speak to and comfort the kid who takes everything so hard. God bless the parents of the 13u who recognize that it's destructive and come up with a plan to help break him of it and then follow through. God bless the team mate who has kind words for the player even when he may not deserve it. God bless the player himself when he keeps working hard and matures enough to control himself and then begins to try and pay it forward.
Ignoring the behavior doesn't help that player. Caring, kindness and encouragement/discouragement??? does. |
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Tribe
82 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 18:06:55
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It all depends on the situation. If a 12 year-old player cries whenever things don't go his way, regardless of whether or not his team is successful, I'd say you certainly have an issue that needs to be addressed.
However, I've seen this game break down 16-18 year-old, highly skilled, highly-experienced and highly-recruited players....kids who left it all on the field and came up short. When nothing's left in the tank in the late innings of a big game, I'll take the fiery, emotional competitors every time.
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BangTheBox
121 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 18:07:28
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Where are you seeing this? We saw it this weekend and by kids on teams that were winning at the time. Understand emotion but crying has got to stop. Bench them but then again many times on the daddy ball teams it is the dad's kid that is the culprit.
quote:
Originally posted by nocrying
What is the opinion about the kid on the team, at this age, that either cries, whimpers, or snivels in every game. The only one and supposed to be in a leadership position.
Should he be benched? Ignored?
It brings everyone down.
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PTL
15 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 20:43:15
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| Completely understand having to deal with crying leaders on the team. After all, isn't that what we see half of the coaches doing every weekend when an ump makes a bad call or a 12 year old kid makes an error. I can deal with the tears of a disappointed 12 year old better than the adult coaches calling the kids names so vulgar that my 12 year old would only spell. Yes, he said the kid was called a ----- because he was crying on the way back to the dugout. Hmmmmm......didn't know my 12 year old would learn porn at the ball field. No that's true leadership and we are concerned about crying kids we all know they will grow out of. .......opposing teams player and child. Rippit, we need to be praying for the coaches because they're not growing out of their behavior. |
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JMO
174 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 21:19:52
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| Crying and leadership position do not go hand in hand. Remember a leader is not always the best hitter or fielder or top pitcher. Statistics do not make leaders. I have seen a few of these types of crying and pouting kids. The problem is the parent and the coach that allows this behavior to happen. Most often the coach that puts up with the crying does so because the kid has good statistics. The parent should be ashamed and embarresed to allow this to happen. It is a failure on the parents part. The problem is that it has the tendency to bring the whole team down. I can see it happening every once in a while in the heat of the moment, but all the time is pathetic. |
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AndreaS
8 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2012 : 22:57:19
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| I don't think that they were talking about kids who lose it at the end of the game, when they left it all out on the field. This I get, and will occasionally see from my own child - he's not crying and going on about it, just completely exhausted from giving his all. However, it is the tears and poor behavior every time a player strikes out, misses a throw, has a long fly ball caught, that definitely needs to stop. JMO I absolutely agree that it is on the parent. These "cry babies" have been at it for years by this point. If they can't handle that in baseball you will fail, more than you succeed, then they should pick a different sport. Nobody carries a 1000 batting average. |
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BLDdad
135 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 06:19:29
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| We have a player that cries regularly. The funny thing is that after he strikes out he doesnt break down until he makes some sort of eye contact with his dad. Of course his dad is the one that sits directly behind homeplate and chirps at him all game. I can imagine the ride home for this young man. |
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peashooter
297 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 12:56:25
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| Here is my take: There are very few times you can cry, and if you do, you better make sure NO ONE else on the team sees you or the coach. Crying is a cancer and will easily destroy a team and a game! I have some guys who have cried, and they keep it to themselves and compose up pretty quickly. Any visible anger, crying, pouting..makes me sick and I will rip kids out in the middle of an inning if I see the pouting. Something goes bad, shake it off, and dig back in and make it right. I really hammer the kids when they make the awful faces after a bad call on strike 1! Come on, you still have 2 more strikes and you are killing your AB mentally! |
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gtown71
86 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 13:54:02
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| if a kid shows his emotions after he feels that he has left it all on the field i wouldn't have an issue. what i have an issue with is "that" kid who constantly shows his a** when things aren't going in his favor. if you strike out hustle back to the dugout and be a good teammate and cheer on the other players. if you make an error go get a hit to help out your team. nothing worse than a "me" player and the parents that won't correct them. |
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diamond_duel
8 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 14:50:23
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My kid is extremely competitive and an emotional baseball player. Unfortunately for him, they go hand-in-hand. We love his competitive spirit, but hate the emotion that sometimes comes with it. It's something we are working on constantly, and he is getting better with every game. We rip into him every time he shows his emotions on the field -- not so much crying, but definitely pouting. We have to remind ourselves that he is 12. So, for every parent whose 12-year-old is more mature than ours, God bless you. It must be nice, and I'm sure we will get there. But for every parent who sees any kid being emotional for whatever reason, show some mercy. Does this mean I excuse or condone it? Absolutely not! I wish I could shake the crap out of him sometimes right there on the field. However, we are the adults, and we have to recognize they are 12, hormonal, and maturing. It's a process. I agree they should be benched, made to run during practice, or even sat out for the rest of the game. This is how you teach them, or at the very least, punish unacceptable behavior.
The other part to this is teaching these kids that it's just a game -- win or lose, and there is nothing that happens between the 1st and 6th innings that warrants pouting or crying. NOTHING! Every one of them makes a fielding error, strikes out, walks a run in, etc. They need to learn to shake it off and channel these emotions into giving 150% from that point forward. Of course, as a mature adult, that's easier said than done, but that's the lesson we need to keep teaching.
As a side note, it's just as frustrating to see the kid that could care less when he has errored or didn't come through. There has to be a happy medium.
Peashooter, you are right. They need to hide it from everyone on the team, because it can be a cancer. |
Edited by - diamond_duel on 05/14/2012 16:09:01 |
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 15:31:54
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Peashooter, great post! If the behavior is destructive there has to be consequences from the parent and the coach.
quote:
Originally posted by peashooter
Here is my take: There are very few times you can cry, and if you do, you better make sure NO ONE else on the team sees you or the coach. Crying is a cancer and will easily destroy a team and a game! I have some guys who have cried, and they keep it to themselves and compose up pretty quickly. Any visible anger, crying, pouting..makes me sick and I will rip kids out in the middle of an inning if I see the pouting. Something goes bad, shake it off, and dig back in and make it right. I really hammer the kids when they make the awful faces after a bad call on strike 1! Come on, you still have 2 more strikes and you are killing your AB mentally!
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BangTheBox
121 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2012 : 18:33:44
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| In our general area we all know who the ones are that do not yet play the game the right way, who the criers are and who throw temper tantrums in and outside the dugout. For some they will grow out of it. Some will quit when the game changes in the fall. Some will always act in that manner because it is never dealt with. Sad when a 12 year old has the upper hand on adult parents and coaches. |
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11UFAN
149 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2012 : 11:27:48
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quote:
Originally posted by PTL
Completely understand having to deal with crying leaders on the team. After all, isn't that what we see half of the coaches doing every weekend when an ump makes a bad call or a 12 year old kid makes an error. I can deal with the tears of a disappointed 12 year old better than the adult coaches calling the kids names so vulgar that my 12 year old would only spell. Yes, he said the kid was called a ----- because he was crying on the way back to the dugout. Hmmmmm......didn't know my 12 year old would learn porn at the ball field. No that's true leadership and we are concerned about crying kids we all know they will grow out of. .......opposing teams player and child. Rippit, we need to be praying for the coaches
because they're not growing out of their behavior.
Most kids playing 12U are 13 or about to turn 13. If he is crying after every strike out or error then he is a being a ......, and should be called out by his coaches and more importantly his team mates. Baseball obviously is not his sport.
At this age they are no longer children, they are young men.
I also agree 1000% with tribe. If you are in a big situation and you crush a line drive that gets caught or throw the "perfect" pitch and it gets crushed emotions are understandable. I have seen many, many parents and coaches who get emotional in these situations too. |
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RACGOFAR
208 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2012 : 16:58:10
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Players cry for a combination of reasons I believe: They have not been taught a way to process the ups and owns of competition; They have always focused on the results, rather than the effort of the performance they put into competing, and they have yet to appreciate the nuances of the game and how hard it really is to compete at the highest levels.
Its a natural outlet for stress. Most grow out of it as they mature. For some its very hard to break. I think its only a problem when it takes over the player's ability to perform and it impacts the team as a whole.
If all Johnny's ever heard is cheering when he got a hit/reached base or made a play in the field, and all he gets when he boots the ball or doesn't reach base is silence or a bad ride home, then he's gonna cry and cry often because there is nothing else he can do. He has no idea what a quality at bat is and he has been conditioned to believe that his results in the field are what make him a good player. Its a cruel joke because players have no control over the results of their performance. All they can ever hope to control when they compete is their attitude, focus and effort.
There may be some parents out there who focus on the right things and still have a crier. To me that indicates the player should be at a different level of competition and is not mature enough to play in the one he is constantly drying in now.
We often view the different classes of teams as being something that players get divided into by talent and ability. That's a shame and its not really true. A kid may have the physical talent to play up a class or even an age group, but that does not mean he has the mental and emotional maturity to compete there. The opposite is true too. Talented kids who can't handle not being the stud, not batting at the top of the order, not being the starter for his chosen position, and who expect to get a hit and reach base every time up should play down to alevel where he can do those things until he changes.
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2012 : 18:23:08
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| Rac: well said! |
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LilBigTown
115 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 09:40:20
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| Best post yet!!! Well said rec |
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PTL
15 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2012 : 21:59:32
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quote:
Originally posted by RACGOFAR
Players cry for a combination of reasons I believe: They have not been taught a way to process the ups and owns of competition; They have always focused on the results, rather than the effort of the performance they put into competing, and they have yet to appreciate the nuances of the game and how hard it really is to compete at the highest levels.
Its a natural outlet for stress. Most grow out of it as they mature. For some its very hard to break. I think its only a problem when it takes over the player's ability to perform and it impacts the team as a whole.
If all Johnny's ever heard is cheering when he got a hit/reached base or made a play in the field, and all he gets when he boots the ball or doesn't reach base is silence or a bad ride home, then he's gonna cry and cry often because there is nothing else he can do. He has no idea what a quality at bat is and he has been conditioned to believe that his results in the field are what make him a good player. Its a cruel joke because players have no control over the results of their performance. All they can ever hope to control when they compete is their attitude, focus and effort.
There may be some parents out there who focus on the right things and still have a crier. To me that indicates the player should be at a different level of competition and is not mature enough to play in the one he is constantly drying in now.
We often view the different classes of teams as being something that players get divided into by talent and ability. That's a shame and its not really true. A kid may have the physical talent to play up a class or even an age group, but that does not mean he has the mental and emotional maturity to compete there. The opposite is true too. Talented kids who can't handle not being the stud, not batting at the top of the order, not being the starter for his chosen position, and who expect to get a hit and reach base every time up should play down to alevel where he can do those things until he changes.
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nocrying
7 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2012 : 00:42:22
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Thank you everyone for your responses here. It seems as if everyone agrees that there is no place for cries, whimpers, or snivels in baseball at this age after bad at bats, etc.
So what does one do if the coaches just ignore it, but the players are sick of it (parents too)? |
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is it spring yet
30 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2012 : 09:20:49
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| My thoughts are that it is the coaches team, You should be able to let him know you dont like it, and the more parents that let him know the better the chances he tries to fix it, but if it does not seem as though he is interested in working on it you have to wheigh the good and the bad, and if the bad is heavier than the good, look for another team, but there is a good chance you end up with another situation as bad if not worse. Use it as motivation for you child. tell your child to lead this kid by example. |
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resumetoproveit
85 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2012 : 11:42:56
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I coach a team which I do not have a child on. We have regular parent meetings over the on and off seasons. We meet with parents only probably once per month if possible. This helps raise issues and keep the team together by keeping issues in the open. Two times per year or more at local eateries we run the meeting with the players in attendance. After the meeting they run around and play games. At that meeting every season my kids sign a player/student of the game code of conduct that we adapted from a professor of one of my medical classes in college. They re-sign every season.
I have had to suspend one last spring season for 4 games and remove a player last season in the middle of the Fall. What they did more so than crying was slam equipment on the field and in the dugout. They were allowed to return per the code and the improvement is 110%. They are now leaders of the team and even when they strike out on a bad outside pitch they run to the dugout.
The biggest indicator is that this is working is that the parents love it and can sit back and enjoy that their child is being mentored at the ballpark and have rules to follow just like they do at school, driving a car, at a job, and in all of lifes' endeavors.
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nocrying
7 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2012 : 14:55:42
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| resumetoproveit- We want to be on your team. That is the way it should be. We aren't seeing temper tantrums, just crying and then the player is being rewarded by playing all the positions they want to with no down time. It is positive reinforcement for the wrong thing. All the players talk about it. Maybe our coaches are listening. |
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GAFarmer
90 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2012 : 09:44:54
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quote:
Originally posted by nocrying
Thank you everyone for your responses here. It seems as if everyone agrees that there is no place for cries, whimpers, or snivels in baseball at this age after bad at bats, etc.
So what does one do if the coaches just ignore it, but the players are sick of it (parents too)?
Is this a coaches kid? |
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