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11UFAN
149 Posts |
 Posted - 05/23/2012 : 13:48:12
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quote:
Originally posted by resumetoproveit
I coach a team which I do not have a child on. We have regular parent meetings over the on and off seasons. We meet with parents only probably once per month if possible. This helps raise issues and keep the team together by keeping issues in the open. Two times per year or more at local eateries we run the meeting with the players in attendance. After the meeting they run around and play games. At that meeting every season my kids sign a player/student of the game code of conduct that we adapted from a professor of one of my medical classes in college. They re-sign every season.
I have had to suspend one last spring season for 4 games and remove a player last season in the middle of the Fall. What they did more so than crying was slam equipment on the field and in the dugout. They were allowed to return per the code and the improvement is 110%. They are now leaders of the team and even when they strike out on a bad outside pitch they run to the dugout.
The biggest indicator is that this is working is that the parents love it and can sit back and enjoy that their child is being mentored at the ballpark and have rules to follow just like they do at school, driving a car, at a job, and in all of lifes' endeavors.
I hear you on the equipment slamming but I gotta be honest, I actually love to see that kind of emotion ONLY if its a BIG situation. If it occurs on a regular basis then that is a different story. I would rather see this than crying and snivelling.
It happens all the time at the higher levels. Players slamming helmets, breaking bats and destroying coolers. Managers and players getting tossed for colorfully arguing nose to nose with umps, kicking dirt etc...Heck, its usually the most entertaining part of the game and the confrontations always make the highlight reel on ESPN. 
Its funny how we all want our kids to "behave" better than the adult role models yet so many TB parents desperately want their kid to get drafted. 
This is a game of failure and emotions will flare, just got to keep it under control and re-direct the passion. If the "pros" have a hard time controlling it I think it makes sense to give the kids a break. |
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nocrying
7 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2012 : 16:33:33
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I am not talking about the tears after the big loss or big situation. It isn't the slamming of the helmet or the big show of frustration that everyone can understand this is the sniveling after every at bat and missed ball.
JMO, but I agree with the posts that suggest suspension, time on the bench or that the player to play down to the proper level to be successful (although the parents most likely would not allow that to happen otherwise this wouldn't already be continuing). I know a majority of the players would appreciate some action being taken. |
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bama21
278 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2012 : 19:16:54
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| Wow, you guys kill me. What do you want these BOYS to be zombies and show no emotion. Here is a heads up for you guys, sports are emotional, even professional players cry. I would love to watch you coaches during a game and see how you act when the ump makes a bad call. This is what you should do: sit on your bucket and show no emotion, nothing that happens in the game is worth getting mad about. If you have to say something keep it to yourself and don't let anybody hear or see your emotion. Sounds crazy doesn't it, but that is what you want these boys, who are still learning how to handle stressful situations, to do. I would also like to ask what are they supposed to do.... yell, cuss, throw things like you do. No, we want these kids to act like adults, so we can act like immature kids. When you love something so much and you cry because you fail at it, that is called passion and you can't teach that. |
Edited by - bama21 on 05/23/2012 22:25:49 |
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resumetoproveit
85 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2012 : 22:58:09
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No sports at this age is a lerning opportunity not a winning opportunity for these kids. I will lose a game to prove a point to all of my players. I feel that the code and rules my players have to abide by will make them better adults now that they have to adhere to them at 12. Our coaches understand emotion and know when a player crosses the line. Our players show emotion and have an open line of communication with our coaches. We see many coaches cross the line but only rarely see playeres do so. We had issues as mentioned but the nice thing is that the parents respected what we had to do and we still have those players. They are changed kids. I will not stand for a player disrespecting the game or equipment and if the player breaks the rules then the penalty is in print.
quote:
Originally posted by bama21
Wow, you guys kill me. What do you want these BOYS to be zombies and show no emotion. Here is a heads up for you guys, sports are emotional, even professional players cry. I would love to watch you coaches during a game and see how you act when the ump makes a bad call. This is what you should do: sit on your bucket and show no emotion, nothing that happens in the game is worth getting mad about. If you have to say something keep it to yourself and don't let anybody hear or see your emotion. Sounds crazy doesn't it, but that is what you want these boys, who are still learning how to handle stressful situations, to do. I would also like to ask what are they supposed to do.... yell, cuss, throw things like you do. No, we want these kids to act like adults, so we can act like immature kids. When you love something so much and you cry because you fail at it, that is called passion and you can't teach that.
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is it spring yet
30 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2012 : 23:05:39
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I respectfully disagree with you Bama. Baseball is a game of failure and they have to be able to fail and remain composed so that they are able to perform their next opportunity, Ive seen kids give up a walk or a hit and just let it bother them so bad they can not continue. They have to be taught to move on. As far as the coaches go, it is their job in my opinion to stand up for his players if he believes they are being shortchanged. Now some definatly take it to extreme. They shouldnt challenge every single call that could have possibly gone their way. If the umpires miss an obvious call then I think it is the coaches job to stand up for the players. I have to brag on my kid a little, He got light up this past weekend, 3 homers in 3 innings in a game that we lost, and after all of that he was able to stay in and finish the game(the way I understand it as I was unable to be there). Now I dont like the homers, but I know his demenor, and I know he didnt let it get to him to the point that he couldnt continue, and that makes me proud.quote:
Originally posted by bama21
Wow, you guys kill me. What do you want these BOYS to be zombies and show no emotion. Here is a heads up for you guys, sports are emotional, even professional players cry. I would love to watch you coaches during a game and see how you act when the ump makes a bad call. This is what you should do: sit on your bucket and show no emotion, nothing that happens in the game is worth getting mad about. If you have to say something keep it to yourself and don't let anybody hear or see your emotion. Sounds crazy doesn't it, but that is what you want these boys, who are still learning how to handle stressful situations, to do. I would also like to ask what are they supposed to do.... yell, cuss, throw things like you do. No, we want these kids to act like adults, so we can act like immature kids. When you love something so much and you cry because you fail at it, that is called passion and you can't teach that.
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bama21
278 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2012 : 09:50:19
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Here's the problem I have with this situation. Very few of us, if any, played at the level, competition, and pressure these kids play at every weekend at such a young age. Could we have handled it better than they do, I'm not so sure. Psychology 101 teaches not to suppress emotions, but that is what we want them to do. Crying is an emotional response as is anger, joy, excitement, and sadness. Everybody handles stressful situations differently and learning how to handle those situations comes with age, time, and experience. I agree some kids just shut down, but you have to remember some of these kids are just starting puberty and some may be a couple years into it already. It is easy to see which kids are further along by the way they handle things.
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nocrying
7 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2012 : 13:20:06
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Bama21- It seems as if your child is the type I am refering to, although the one one I am asking for advice on is not one of the young ones on the team. I don't have a problem with frustation being shown, unless it is over the top. The boys should be able to show their happiness in a job well done, collective and individually as well as their disappointments and frustations. That is all part of the game, just look at the Olympics. But what I keep repeating is the child that cries, no not the all out bawling his head off, but whimpering or sniveling on just about every at bat. It is also the same with the missed balls. It takes a toll on the other players. Also, other parents see it or hear about it from their kids. No one wants it. It isn't T-ball anymore.
It's no different than the parent that takes their infant to a movie and lets him cry all the way through it disrupting everyone else. Obviously they think it is ok or they wouldn't have done it. NO ONE ELSE DOES! It is just here the coaches are ultimately responsible for what goes on in their dugout and on their field. It is sad to say but these days it is often left to a teacher to deal with and correct bad behavior that isn't being taken care of at home or in this case a coach. And for those teachers and coaches that do this well my hat is off to them. |
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resumetoproveit
85 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2012 : 21:07:33
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| Something is odd about this. Must be some daddy ball coaching involved. Or kid is a stud except with attitude. Nocrying any insights? |
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nocrying
7 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2012 : 18:10:57
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| The stud usually hits the ball. Anytime this type of thing is going on it is daddy ball even if it isn't a coaches kid. And honestly I think the overly involved parent (we all know the type) who is in the coaches ear is worse than the coaches kid. |
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