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Jrgrizzliesbaseball
352 Posts |
 Posted - 10/29/2010 : 17:18:02
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I am asking for some advice from my fellow coaches. As hormones and ego become a factor with our older travel teams, we have one player that is critical of his team mates, makes fun of them for being short, makes fun of them for being heavy and is generally very critical in the dugout. How would you handle this player. I am looking for an outside objective opinion...
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lottapop
257 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2010 : 18:24:58
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| Have a set down with him...if it doesn't help....boot him to the curb!!!!!Does his parents know about this? If so they should be ashamed of him and themselves. |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2010 : 21:29:38
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| The coach really needs to know about this! If he acts like that, chances are his parents don't parent!!! I agree w/ lottapop....his parents should be ashamed! |
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baseball2010
7 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2010 : 23:59:58
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That's why I don't like the "cattle call" tryouts, where thirty guys show their skills for half a day. All coaches say they want players with a good attitude, but until you spend time, as in days or even a week, you'll never know. Then you choose a team without really knowing them and "bam!", the team suffers for the next twelve months because you chose the best athletes, not good athletes with great character. There is no substitute for time spent one-on-one with the prospective player and his family.
And while I'm on a rant, what is it with coaches posting and reposting that they need one or two majors level pitchers to finish their roster? Heck, doesn't everyone?
You have all winter. How about coaching up a good player and making him great? I thought you were a coach.
To sum it up: Players with great character, first. Athletic ability second. |
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cutoffman
63 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2010 : 10:28:23
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| There is no substitute for having an entire team buy in to the same work ethic, preperation, and goals. Teams with unity and character with less talent beat teams with individual self centered cancers.... as a player and coach of more than 20 years, get rid of the cancer or it will quickly spread. |
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momshell
103 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2010 : 11:45:46
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| Tell him he sounds like a 13 year old GIRL when he does that(I have some experience with this, thank heaven for my boys). That ought to take care of it. |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2010 : 23:01:16
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| momshell-seriously your answer is to compare a bully boy in travel baseball to a girl??? Wow! That is some real good parental advice! I thought we were really trying to help Jrgrizzliesbaseball out with this problem! Putting down girls is not the way to fix this problem! |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2010 : 10:08:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Jrgrizzliesbaseball
I am asking for some advice from my fellow coaches. As hormones and ego become a factor with our older travel teams, we have one player that is critical of his team mates, makes fun of them for being short, makes fun of them for being heavy and is generally very critical in the dugout. How would you handle this player. I am looking for an outside objective opinion...
Thanks
Coach, I would tell him that what he is doing is counterproductive to the team and if it doesn't stop he will be looking for a new team. He is supposed to be supportive of his teammates as he teammates are supposed to be supportive of him. |
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Critic22
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2010 : 12:20:04
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Jrgrizzliesbaseball,
I can hear you have the best interest for all kids you coach including some who have rougher edges.
lottapop and cutofmann have suggested good approaches to properly and fairly handling the situation. First, have a private meeting with the player and his parents together. The attempt here is to understand the character of not only the player also the parents. Looking to identify possible influences, or personal situations which foster this behavior. Regardless of your findings the behavior is unacceptable and should be addressed.
No-one wants to have a player who shows disrespect to fellow team mates as well as coaching staff regardless of his/her athletic ability..TRUE, also realize removing the problem from your team becomes the same problem for another team. His behavior has to be addressed and an effort must be made to correct at some point before entering into adulthood or more behavior problems will manifest. Ultimately it will be your decision how to handle it based on what's in your heart and no-one can say you were right or wrong because we all have opinions and different approaches to situations.
Coaching is building character, becoming a mentor and teaching life skills. Make the decision you and the coaching staff can be at peace with and move forward with the passion of teaching young men and building character.
Good Luck Coach
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momshell
103 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2010 : 17:44:17
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Knucklecurve, Gracious! I was kidding. I agree with Critic22- well said!
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2010 : 21:48:02
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| momshell-Glad to hear it!! The coach really needs to handle this and boot the kid if he doesn't change. These boys are too old to be acting like this. |
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Critic22
19 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 09:36:03
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quote:
Originally posted by knucklecurve
The coach really needs to know about this! If he acts like that, chances are his parents don't parent!!! I agree w/ lottapop....his parents should be ashamed!
knucklecurve, Pass no judgement on the parents. Teenagers sometimes act out or make decisions when away from parents and the home. To know surprise PARENTS are often times unaware. As I previously said the behavior is unacceptable;however to the parents defense you can't say this to be a true statement unless you know the family structure.
Just think for a moment, has there been any behavior from any of our kids (Post buddies)we were surprised about as parents after finding out? No need to answer just ponder on it. Yes, we may have had feelings of being ashamed, but would it have been fair to say there was no parenting in the home?
Thx |
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LeftyBat
160 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 11:03:28
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quote:
Originally posted by baseball2010
That's why I don't like the "cattle call" tryouts, where thirty guys show their skills for half a day. All coaches say they want players with a good attitude, but until you spend time, as in days or even a week, you'll never know. Then you choose a team without really knowing them and "bam!", the team suffers for the next twelve months because you chose the best athletes, not good athletes with great character. There is no substitute for time spent one-on-one with the prospective player and his family.
And while I'm on a rant, what is it with coaches posting and reposting that they need one or two majors level pitchers to finish their roster? Heck, doesn't everyone? I assume the teams with post out there geniunely need more talent. Good to know who they are if you are looking to place talent...
You have all winter. How about coaching up a good player and making him great? I thought you were a coach.
To sum it up: Players with great character, first. Athletic ability second.
Well, no I don't think everyone out there needs to major level pitchers to finish their rosters. That's why we don't email the Astro's, Braves, Roadrunners, etc to see if they need players. We assume if they needed players they would let us know.
Agree with your comment about cattle call tryouts though. I think tryout tournaments are a great way to go...
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Edited by - LeftyBat on 11/01/2010 11:45:26 |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 12:53:15
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| Critic22-I said, "chances are the parents don't parent" and I stand by that completely! Those are some pretty harsh things said and they usually come from a kids where the parents don't parent. We all see it every season. Thank God it is usually only a couple of kids and these parents just excuse or overlook their behavior. Sure our kids do things that surprise us from time to time, but making fun of weight, height and generally very critical in the dugout at age 13. That just doesn't make since in my book! |
Edited by - knucklecurve on 11/01/2010 14:57:46 |
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Checkswing
53 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 15:45:38
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| First I would approach his parents, fill them in on their childs behavior. I would just give them the same information that you have given us. Let them know that starting the next game or practice that there is going to be consequences for his actions. Ask the parents if you have their support, hopefully they say yes. If they dont support you, cut your ties and let him go. If they support u, talk to the kid and him know that he is all yours. At that point u start benching him if his antics continue. If that doesnt work you may think about letting him go. I just hate to give up on a kid so try to find out what makes the kid click and go from their. No matter what though try to use positive re-enforcement. Let him know when he has done something positive for the team. Hope this helps. |
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lottapop
257 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 18:13:48
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| At the age of 13...a kid should know whats right and wrong. I've always told the kids I coach the only thing that trips my switch is piss poor attitude...will "not" tolerate it from the kids or parents. |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2010 : 23:53:25
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| I totally agree with you lottapop! Good luck Jrgrizzliesbaseball, I know that is the not so fun part of being a coach. You are doing the right thing for your team. |
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2010 : 10:01:12
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I want to provide a piece that has not really been brought up. Kids, even good ones, at times will act this way as a defense mechanism to being insecure to their new surroundings by making fun of other kids. They think that by doing this makes their appear funny and liked by the other kids. What they fail to realize is it is causing a seperation between them and the rest of the kids. No one likes being picked on. It is fine if you can pick back and forth but if it is one sided, it can cause a lot of chemistry problems.
My suggestion is to casually talk to the kid first and say "Hey, remember these are your teammates. No one likes being made fun of. It's important that you guys all get along for us to have a great season. Is there a reason you feel like you need to pick on them so much? I am sure you don't want spend a whole season having teammates not like you."
Then see what he says, or better yet what he does. If he backs off, then the problem is solved. Some times we all need to be reminded of how we are acting. If he does not back off, having that converstion with the parents will be easier because you have already tried to handle it with the kid.
I think from 13 on things need to be handled with the players. The parents don't need to be dragged into every issue. |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2010 : 11:28:02
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| Alter-Ego-Did you read the part where Jrgrizzliesbaseball says the parents are good people, but promote cocky?? They all need to be talked to or this won't stop. These parents are a big part of this problem. I am shocked with how most of you feel this is a small problem. These 13 year old travel ball players(almost high school ball players)should not be acting like 10 year old rec ball players! |
Edited by - knucklecurve on 11/02/2010 14:09:05 |
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Critic22
19 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2010 : 19:20:04
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knucklecurve,
There was no posting by anyone that gave the impression the problem was small. Different approaches by different people. Everyone will not agree with you or see the world as you do. How can you compare him to a specific age group..is that fair to them?..You criticized momshell for using the comparison of girls now you turn around and do it towards ten year olds. Stop swinging your bat at everyone. |
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knucklecurve
171 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 08:40:52
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| Critic22-I still stand by all of what I said. Yes, we do have different approaches on how to handle these kinds of situations. I am not criticizing any group, that kind of behavior is more typical of YOUNGER boys. Don't mean to offend you and I am not swinging bats at anyone. This to me should not be happening at this age or level of baseball. I just hope he can fix this problem. There is nothing worse than a cocky grown boy with parents that promote this kind of behavior! |
Edited by - knucklecurve on 11/03/2010 09:11:06 |
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lottapop
257 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 09:45:23
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| Absolutely! |
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Goin Deep
140 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 11:40:13
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| I see it all the time, and it is a shame that the parents brush it off as "youth behavior". Cockiness has no place in youth sports. Quiet confidence, and respect for your opponets and teammates ability, however, does. |
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 16:12:38
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KC,
I spend a lot of time around kids and have lots of experience with their personalities. MOST of the time there are underlying reasons why they act that way. You can handle it however you want, when it is your situation, but I believe this was Grizzlie's request:
"How would you handle this player. I am looking for an outside objective opinion..."
I have also seen that it is a lot easier for people to give advice on here than it is for them to actually apply it when a specific situation arises. Very few situations are black and white. Most have shades of gray to them.
I think we all agree that it warrants a discussion being had because bad chemistry can kill the best teams. No one wants to go through that much time together with bad chemistry. |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 16:35:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Goin Deep
I see it all the time, and it is a shame that the parents brush it off as "youth behavior". Cockiness has no place in youth sports. Quiet confidence, and respect for your opponets and teammates ability, however, does.
Couldn't agree with you more on this one Goin Deep. Unfortunately, too many of the "role models" our kids look up to in the professional ranks are prime examples of poor sportsmanship and extreme cockiness. |
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Critic22
19 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2010 : 18:07:27
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| I agree with you Alter-Ego. |
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