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 At what point is it OK to pull your kid off team?
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Ross

60 Posts

Posted - 04/12/2016 :  15:24:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You made a commitment to the team. Coach also made a commitment to the kids. Too many coaches making promises out of lack of understanding / knowledge. No way he should have put a team together that cannot compete and continuously leading them to slaughter. I am not for quitting. I am also not for banging my head against the wall. Sounds painful for the parents to watch. Is he having fun? He is 9.
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OPHornets

135 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2016 :  08:22:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

quote:
Originally posted by Hurricane

I think the coaches need to work on finding kids that can throw strikes. I say work on him getting better and improving and tell him you guys will find another team next season.
If he is talking about not playing anymore then you have a problem.
Main goal should be him wanting to play next year. Just do your research and find a good fit and include your son in picking the team he wants to play for. Best of luck.

Also:
Why is everyone so against quitting, is quitting not a life lesson? You don't like your job, boss quit find a better fit.
You don't like your boyfriend girl friend dont stick around.
Research shows kids that quit sport young dont quit every job they get when they get older just as kids that are forced to put toys away at a private school can grow up not putting away anything.




Why am I against quitting...well short version, it's about commitment. You agreed to stay for X months and play with that coach and those kids. If you quit it puts everyone else in a bind. I did my best to teach my son that when you commit you commit, if you aren't sure then don't commit until you are because you are in it for the long haul at that point. The ONLY time I would agree to leave a team is if my son was being damaged mentally or physically.

Your logic of don't like your boss, just quit...um...and who pays your mortgage? And how many times can you quit before you are unemployable?

Don't like your boyfriend/girlfriend don't stick around....again, don't commit until you are sure. Then, if you gave it your best shot or are being emotionally or phsycially damaged then you can leave.

Every parent on this website should be afraid of giving their kid a swelled head. If you have ever heard your son say "I'm too good to play with this team" that is YOUR fault as the parent. We are raising a generation of spoiled brats which is very clear when you see the job hopping and the bed hopping going on in today's world. If you make a commitment, especially if it is ONLY for 4 months, you should stick with it. If YOU didn't like it then do better research next time so you make a better choice.



<3

My first nomination for post of the year goes to....
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2016 :  13:08:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hopefully one losing season isn't enough to make him throw in the towel on the sport, especially at 9. It happens. He is getting experience on a travel team, hopefully improving with the reps, win or lose. There are rec kids who would give anything to play on a travel team at that age, win or lose. Tough it out and thoroughly vet your choice for next year.
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2016 :  14:54:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StevenJ

quote:
Originally posted by Baseballrocks123

Team is doing AA tournaments. It's basically the Rec Allstar team from 8u kid pitch. My kid isn't one of the best on the team, they all make errors but we just don't have any pitching. And they get stuck in the field watching the pitcher walk the bases loaded and then throw wild pitches to bring the runs home, and other players just stand there and go into zombie mode then ball finally gets hit and they make an error.
It's just sucking the life out of the whole family.

Thanks for all the feedback.



My concern would be that he could come to dislike the game or become convinced that he wasn't any good at it and would not want to play baseball again. Pulling him off the team at this stage might guarantee that outcome.

We were in a similar situation my son's first year--some good rec players moving up to travel. It's not an easy transition, different rules, different umpiring, we went 0-fer the season. You're going to take your lumps, no way around it. The kids that stick with it will match up with the competition soon enough.



StevenJ, I understand you were being supportive of the argument to stick with the team but your reasoning is flooring me!

There is no politically correct way to say this...everyone needs to put on their big boy pants, take a deep breath, and admit it is OKAY if their kid doesn't like something or actually fails at something.

If he LOVES hitting, fielding, catching, and the idea of being able to think fast and get the ball where it needs to go before the other guy then he will stick with the game and love playing, even on a loosing team. If he doesn't love it then it isn't meant to be. Try soccer, or basketball, maybe swimming is his thing.

The kids who don't LOVE it or can't play it are the ones gone by 15u. If a 9u kid has "grown to dislike the game or become convinced that he wasn't any good at it and doesn't want to play baseball again" by all means STEP AWAY!!!! Just think about how much money you could save not doing travel ball for the next 6 years!!!

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oneZone

117 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2016 :  16:33:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.






Edited by - oneZone on 04/13/2016 18:07:00
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turntwo

955 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2016 :  17:23:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball

Hopefully one losing season isn't enough to make him throw in the towel on the sport, especially at 9. It happens.



In this day and age, where kids have the entitlement 'air' about themselves, that PARENTS nurture (participation awards for EVERYONE... trophies for ALL...) most kids are ALLOWED to 'quit when the going gets tough'. Lots of sage advice on this thread from parents of college players-- but times have changed since their boys were little.

Parents will raise cain at the teacher because Johnny didn't get an "A" (that he didn't earn mind you)... Or parents will raise cain at the coach because Timmy didn't get to bat lead off or play 2B (don't mind all the errors, or picked off most of any on the team on the bases)... So this thread doesn't surprise me. Losing is tough. If sucks. But life is tough sometimes. Some parents would rather 'pave the way' where lil Max never fails, never have to truly work hard, or never has to face adversity-- the parents are all too often ready to pull the rip cord because "it's not fair".

A commitment was made to the team. Honor it. Unless you were blatantly lied to, or the coach isn't fulfilling his end of the commitment, stick with it. Experience and hard work breeds success. Let lil Stevie be a leader, and 'trend setter' on the team, that he's the hardest working gamer the team has, and potentially his teammates may follow in his efforts.
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  09:08:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
^^^^^^yes. If he sticks with it he will have MANY ups and downs. That's baseball. Even really strong teams will have terrible seasons. Just look at the MLB. And every player will waver between being the star to not being the star, from crushing the ball to grinding it out through the dreaded slump. It's love of the sport that sustains players over time, not an individual team or coach or season. Being a good role model for your peers during a bad season is also a valuable life lesson. Teach your boy to pick himself and his teammates up and just HAVE FUN playing ball. At 9 isn't that really what it's about? It shouldn't be so important as to "suck the life" out of your family. It gets way more intense down the road so hopefully for now he can just have fun getting dirty with what will hopefully be buddies of his for years to come and those who are still in it at 14 up will laugh when they remember that first year.
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  09:41:38  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.



I was really trying to leave that sucking the life out of the whole family comment alone, but I guess I am not going to.

1. 9u baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks, it gets better, but we ALL had to suffer through 9u and the walkathons.
2. Loosing does suck, but it is a part of life. Best not to teach a kid at a young age to dodge his commitments.
3. If you allow a 9u baseball team to "suck the life out of the whole family" you are FAR FAR FAR too involved.
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bfriendly

376 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  15:52:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.



I was really trying to leave that sucking the life out of the whole family comment alone, but I guess I am not going to.

1. 9u baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks, it gets better, but we ALL had to suffer through 9u and the walkathons.
2. Loosing does suck, but it is a part of life. Best not to teach a kid at a young age to dodge his commitments.
3. If you allow a 9u baseball team to "suck the life out of the whole family" you are FAR FAR FAR too involved.


Thanks for doing so B,
you saved me.........and you are spot on.
Like many of you, it is what we do in my family......... we also have felt the pain of getting dominated for an entire season. In our case, it was as simple as playing above our talent level. Look into that.....is the team trying to play AAA when they should be AA or A?
Regardless, Learn to find something good in EVERY Situation. Stretch your imagination if you have to, but its possible. Besides, it is always better than succumbing to the bad.
I sincerely wish you the best!
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oneZone

117 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  18:17:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.



I was really trying to leave that sucking the life out of the whole family comment alone, but I guess I am not going to.

1. 9u baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks, it gets better, but we ALL had to suffer through 9u and the walkathons.
2. Loosing does suck, but it is a part of life. Best not to teach a kid at a young age to dodge his commitments.
3. If you allow a 9u baseball team to "suck the life out of the whole family" you are FAR FAR FAR too involved.



1. BAD 9U baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks. We don't ALL have to suffer through 9U and the walkathons. My team isn't.
2. What if after 20 straight blowout games -- filled with errors, strikeouts, kids crying on the mound because they can't throw a stike to save their life, kids getting hurt in the field because they can't react to a hard-hit ball, kids from other teams hanging on the fences laughing and poking fun, run rules, smart-a$$ comments from opponents on the way through the "good game" line, etc. -- little 9 year old Jimmy is HATING it? What if every time you tell him to get ready for practice or a game, he starts tearing up or faking sickness or throwing a fit because he DREADS it? Are you gonna get on and stay on little Jimmy's tail for the next 20 blowout losses, reminding him about the importance of not "dodging his commitments" every time you drag him to the ballpark to play bad baseball for a bad team?
3. See #2 -- that would sufficiently suck some life out, wouldn't it?
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bfriendly

376 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  20:56:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.



I was really trying to leave that sucking the life out of the whole family comment alone, but I guess I am not going to.

1. 9u baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks, it gets better, but we ALL had to suffer through 9u and the walkathons.
2. Loosing does suck, but it is a part of life. Best not to teach a kid at a young age to dodge his commitments.
3. If you allow a 9u baseball team to "suck the life out of the whole family" you are FAR FAR FAR too involved.



1. BAD 9U baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks. We don't ALL have to suffer through 9U and the walkathons. My team isn't.
2. What if after 20 straight blowout games -- filled with errors, strikeouts, kids crying on the mound because they can't throw a stike to save their life, kids getting hurt in the field because they can't react to a hard-hit ball, kids from other teams hanging on the fences laughing and poking fun, run rules, smart-a$$ comments from opponents on the way through the "good game" line, etc. -- little 9 year old Jimmy is HATING it? What if every time you tell him to get ready for practice or a game, he starts tearing up or faking sickness or throwing a fit because he DREADS it? Are you gonna get on and stay on little Jimmy's tail for the next 20 blowout losses, reminding him about the importance of not "dodging his commitments" every time you drag him to the ballpark to play bad baseball for a bad team?
3. See #2 -- that would sufficiently suck some life out, wouldn't it?


The kid in blue has no business being out there in a level way above his head......
I think it might, but I just dont see that much unsportsmanlike conduct myself..........and I have certainly had my share of teams getting blown out and looking horrible, error after error, walkathons, etc, etc, ......been there, done that.
I just dont see what you describe, even under the worst conditions.

I am trying to not dig much deeper than this and have just deleted alot I had written.......but I have to ask,

Do you play catch with your kid? Do you Throw him pop ups, grounders and pitches to him and help him bat when you are at home? Do you guys have fun with baseball at home?

Edited by - bfriendly on 04/14/2016 21:12:46
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oneZone

117 Posts

Posted - 04/14/2016 :  22:14:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bfriendly

quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl

quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'll offer a few thoughts below, but my only real advice is to do what you think is best!

Most of the comments mention the important life lesson of fulfilling your commitment to the team, and rightfully so. That is important.

But I also think you have to balance that with another important life lesson: Look out for yourself. Especially after reading your comment that it's "sucking the life out of the whole family." That stinks. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it's not what's best for your team (or company, etc.).

And let's be real. Of course winning isn't everything. It's NOT all about winning and losing. And yes, losing can teach us valuable lessons, it can keep us humble, make us hungry, etc. But losing does suck. And losing over and over again, badly, all year long? I don't think that's very valuable for anyone.



I was really trying to leave that sucking the life out of the whole family comment alone, but I guess I am not going to.

1. 9u baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks, it gets better, but we ALL had to suffer through 9u and the walkathons.
2. Loosing does suck, but it is a part of life. Best not to teach a kid at a young age to dodge his commitments.
3. If you allow a 9u baseball team to "suck the life out of the whole family" you are FAR FAR FAR too involved.



1. BAD 9U baseball is ALWAYS about kids scoring from walks. We don't ALL have to suffer through 9U and the walkathons. My team isn't.
2. What if after 20 straight blowout games -- filled with errors, strikeouts, kids crying on the mound because they can't throw a stike to save their life, kids getting hurt in the field because they can't react to a hard-hit ball, kids from other teams hanging on the fences laughing and poking fun, run rules, smart-a$$ comments from opponents on the way through the "good game" line, etc. -- little 9 year old Jimmy is HATING it? What if every time you tell him to get ready for practice or a game, he starts tearing up or faking sickness or throwing a fit because he DREADS it? Are you gonna get on and stay on little Jimmy's tail for the next 20 blowout losses, reminding him about the importance of not "dodging his commitments" every time you drag him to the ballpark to play bad baseball for a bad team?
3. See #2 -- that would sufficiently suck some life out, wouldn't it?


The kid in blue has no business being out there in a level way above his head......
I think it might, but I just dont see that much unsportsmanlike conduct myself..........and I have certainly had my share of teams getting blown out and looking horrible, error after error, walkathons, etc, etc, ......been there, done that.
I just dont see what you describe, even under the worst conditions.

I am trying to not dig much deeper than this and have just deleted alot I had written.......but I have to ask,

Do you play catch with your kid? Do you Throw him pop ups, grounders and pitches to him and help him bat when you are at home? Do you guys have fun with baseball at home?



I exaggerated the scenario to illustrate a point. I agree with you that the kid in blue has no business being out there ... But I've seen him out there before!

The main point I wanted to drive home is that none of us know this family's specific situation. Yet some here are essentially saying they would fail as parents and teach the kid to be a quitter and to dodge his commitments, etc., if they do decide that it's best to move on. I acknowledged that the commitment lesson is important, but also that it's not the only consideration in their decision.

Another point I was hinting at, so as not to offend too many people on here, is that there is a lot of bad travel baseball out there. A lot of kids would probably be better off sticking with Little League or the much-maligned "rec ball," where they're more likely to have FUN while they learn baseball's wonderful life lessons.

I'm not sure why you asked all the other questions, but the answer is yes. My kid loves baseball, and I do my best to nurture that and to not screw that up. So far, so good.
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bfriendly

376 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  04:21:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Exaggerated? Well then it does make a little more sense.............I think you are simply feeling the same pain many(not all)of us have felt.......I'll be happy to share my worst with you. Big season ending trip at Disney last year, my kid on the mound. Now He is not some dominating pitcher by any means, but he's pretty good and I saw him put on his best.
He threw strikes and got all the strike outs, pop ups and ground balls be should have needed to pitch an EZ, low pitch count shut-out. But error after error after error had his team giving up literally 7-8 outs per inning, and giving up about 5 or 6 Unearned runs.... the team getting yet another loss.

It was the best performance I had seen him put on up to that point in his baseball career. I walked away and balled my eyes out..........a season worth of frustration came to a boiling point.............it all came out and I couldn't stop it. I felt like someone had Sucked the life out of me! The defense behind him was completely absent and as bad as they have been all year, they put on their worst display during out biggest tourney. I felt like my son deserved better than that.........I feel your pain, trust me. Some poolside cocktails may be in order It helped me get past it.....

As bad as the season and the team was, we took every good thing out of it we could find(or imagine). Quite frankly, it was a case of playing above our teams level........should have been an easy fix after the fall season with a reassessment of the team's ability.

I am concerned about the child pretending to be sick when its time to go though. If that part is not exaggerated, then there may be some underlying issues.........something about that is not right
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  08:44:01  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If you had seen my earlier posts I specifically said if the kid is being damaged emotionally or phsycially I would remove him from the team. If he is throwing up and dreading going THAT is emotionally damaged.

I can't tell you have many 9-12 year olds I have seen with a chip on their shoulder and it was put there by the parents. Phrases like:
-I am too good to play for this team
-Of course I'm going to make the team, have you SEEN who else showed up for the tryout?
-You guys are making me look bad
-We lost because YOU didn't catch that last fly ball
-What is so hard about getting your glove down Johnny
-I don't want to pitch anymore, no one is backing me up
-Whats the point of you getting your glove, you know I'm going to start on first
-What do you mean I'm batting 8th, I'm your best hitter!
-If you guys can't pull it together I'm leaving the team, I don't want to play with a bunch of losers
-I'm too good to sit on the bench what are you thinking coach!

I have heard ALL of those from 9u-12u and typically their parents are in stands saying "Yeah, YOU TELL THEM SON!" Leaving a team mid-season for no other reason than because the team is loosing would be done by every one of the spoiled kids I have mentioned.
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Crazyforbball

391 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  09:29:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
^^^^I have not seen any of that caco3. The worst I've seen are the bat throwers, the whiners that want to go home and the kid who strikes out and won't return a high 5 from a team-mate on the way back to the dugout (my personal pet peeve). But I don't doubt what you are saying. I am totally in agreement. Team is "we" not "me". There are plenty of solitary sports out there. In all fairness none of us have heard from the person who started this in awhile lol. We have no idea how bad it really is, or isnt. Seems the easiest solution would be to just ask coach to humor them and play in at least one lower level tourney to see the outcome. AND those snotty kids you mention CA need a good old fashioned butt whooping.

Edited by - Crazyforbball on 04/15/2016 10:07:36
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CaCO3Girl

1989 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  10:49:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Imagine my surprise when I flipped over to CNN and saw this article:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2628858-notre-dame-linebacker-jaylon-smith-im-the-best-player-in-the-draft?iid=ob_homepage_deskrecommended_pool

QUOTE:
"I'm the best player in the draft. I just didn't get the opportunity to show it as far as the combine and draft process. Watch the film. Any game. It speaks for itself."

These comments come out of athletes mouths ALL the time, and yes, I blame the parents!
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oneZone

117 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  11:04:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm sorry, bfriendly, but I inadvertently misled you!

That scenario I described is complete fiction, inspired by some of the ugly, sad stuff I've seen happen over the years and a little bit of imagination. Again, the point was to remind us we don't know how much this kid or family is struggling with this -- whether it's "their fault" or not.

Also, just to be clear, that does NOT describe my situation at all. My kid is a solid player on a good team, and we're very fortunate and thankful. I should probably acknowledge that it's so much EASIER to be a "good travel ball parent" when things are going well -- when your kid's playing/batting where he wants to, being treated fairly and lovingly by coaches and teammates, being coached at a high level, being pushed at a reasonable level, experiencing the joy of hard-earned wins, experiencing the suckiness of tough losses but bouncing back hungrier than before, etc. -- and above all, having FUN through it all.

This guy's post reminded me not to take all that for granted, and to have some empathy for those whose travel ball experience is NOT so great.

By the way, THANKS for sharing your story about the Disney tournament -- really powerful stuff. I admit to tearing up over far less, just from being a proud parent. I guess I'm kind of a softy, though.

Edited by - oneZone on 04/15/2016 12:27:14
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Gapper

64 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  14:35:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
On the flip side of this argument, when would it ever be appropriate for a team to remove a player from the team?
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Critical Mass

277 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  14:42:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Losing builds character. It also, in competitive kids builds a tremendous disdain that they can learn from and vow never to be there again.
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twodown22

9 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  15:06:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Jaylen Smith in the article was a top 5 pick before his injury so he is stating he is the best before the draft being he didn't get to work out. The injury was devastating to the point he may fall out of the first-second round altogether. Its a mental statement he is making and if you ever played a sport at high level, you know the difference. If your kid is a high level athlete whether baseball, boxing, football, tennis, etc. He better believe he is the best. Nothing wrong with stating this. It's a mentality every top athlete has. Coachable mentality not attitude. In essence, if you raise you kids right and instill values, morals etc. Then they will be humble with a killer instinct(work mentality ( that's needed to be successful and always push them. All parents need to do what's best for their kids and stop worry about how other teach, raise their kids. Spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement type of kids will always be around but know the difference between spoiled and gifted humble confidence.
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bballman

1432 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  15:28:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I've already told my story about my son's team losing every game but one during a spring season when he was around 8 years old. Horrible season with a bad coach, but he made it through and still loves the game.

Here's another one that I'll try to make quick. When my son was close to tryouts for the HS baseball team when he was a freshman, he was taking some pitching lessons from a MiLB AA pitching coach. I told him that I'd like to see my son play the field on JV and pitch varsity. He said "First of all, if they don't have him pitching varsity, they are idiots. And I hope he makes it and I hope he gets rocked". I was astounded. What??? You want him to get rocked? He said that at the AA MiLB level, they get a bunch of guys that were dominant their whole career. Eventually, they all get hit hard. Most of what he had to deal with as a coach is helping them get through a situation in which they fail. They just don't know how to deal with it. They lose confidence, they don't trust their stuff and it is very hard to come back from. He said it is VERY important to learn how to lose and come back from it.

Fast forward to the season. My son wound up doing exactly what I would like to have seen. Played SS on JV and was a starting pitcher on varsity. Was having a pretty good year - until he hit a buzzsaw. Gave up like 7 runs in 3 innings and got yanked. I talked to him afterwards and said, "Well, you can either tell yourself you suck, or you can tell yourself you sucked today and go out and get them next time". He said "Yeah, I know. I sucked today for sure". Next game, he went out and threw a complete game giving up one unearned run. 7 innings on 69 pitches. I'd say he came back from the loss with a good bit of confidence.

I know that is just one bad outing. However, teams and players will go through tough times. Pitchers will get hit. Hitters will go through slumps. Teams will go on losing streaks. It's all how you deal with it. It's how parents teach their kids to deal with it. My son's college team is doing pretty good. They moved up the D2 polls to top 10 status. Then they went through a stretch where they lost 5 out of 7 and dropped completely out of the polls. What did they do? They are currently on an 8 game win streak and competing for first place in the conference. It's how you come back from the losses and hard times that makes you a great ball player and a great team. It really is a good lesson to be learned, even for a 9 year old.
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BaseballMom6

233 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  16:30:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
seriously, I've read through all these responses. While I'm not generally a fan of walking away from a commitment, I learned the hard way with my son that some times you have to cut your losses and leave. At 14 we asked all the right questions, were told/shown all the right answers, and when it came time for spring, the talent wasn't there, the quality coaching wasn't there, and the players were not as dedicated as we were lead to believe. One of the players choose to leave, and had a much better experience and made lots more progress as a result. We had my son finish the commitment. It sucked! By the end they treated my kid horribly, overused kids risking long term arm issues and generally made it a miserable experience. Hindsight is 20/20 and I wish we had run, far, far away. BUT my kid was 14 years old.

We are talking about a 9 year old. Probably finishing 3rd grade. He is still a little kid. 1st year kid pitch. It is supposed to be fun. Losing by a huge differential all the time is NOT fun. He has plenty of time to "build character"

This situation is exactly why I personally am against travel ball before 10/11. There are some great local parks with strong "rec" programs out there. Stay there. Give the kids a chance to learn how to pitch. Travel ball before kid pitch is IMHO just parents living through their kids. There is no need to rush the kids to grow up.
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bfriendly

376 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  16:49:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by oneZone

I'm sorry, bfriendly, but I inadvertently misled you!

That scenario I described is complete fiction, inspired by some of the ugly, sad stuff I've seen happen over the years and a little bit of imagination. Again, the point was to remind us we don't know how much this kid or family is struggling with this -- whether it's "their fault" or not.

Also, just to be clear, that does NOT describe my situation at all. My kid is a solid player on a good team, and we're very fortunate and thankful. I should probably acknowledge that it's so much EASIER to be a "good travel ball parent" when things are going well -- when your kid's playing/batting where he wants to, being treated fairly and lovingly by coaches and teammates, being coached at a high level, being pushed at a reasonable level, experiencing the joy of hard-earned wins, experiencing the suckiness of tough losses but bouncing back hungrier than before, etc. -- and above all, having FUN through it all.

This guy's post reminded me not to take all that for granted, and to have some empathy for those whose travel ball experience is NOT so great.

By the way, THANKS for sharing your story about the Disney tournament -- really powerful stuff. I admit to tearing up over far less, just from being a proud parent. I guess I'm kind of a softy, though.




No your great OneZone...I'm Sorry, I thought YOU were the OP

This has turned into a great thread anywho! BTW-I really appreciate all who have chimed in. I too like the idea of dealing with loss and or failure. Getting past adversity is a big deal and we all have to do it......all of us. Lets get them good at it at a younger age shall we?
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twodown22

9 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2016 :  18:28:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I totally disagree with the notion of parents chest thumping because their kids are in travel ball at 9/10. I have been and watched several rec games from gwinnett to cumming to buckhead supporting family and the talent isn't there. The typical screaming, arguing over calls, and 1-2 kids on each team who can catch. Some of you are out of sorts with reality, times are not like they use to be when we played and not even like they were 3-4 years ago. Travel has just grew into this enormous machine in the greater atlanta area for good or bad. Just goes back to a diluted system in which its slowly sucking every semi talented player from the parks. Are parents wrong for noticicing the change and semi adapting. Parents move on to play in these systems in which most prob hate but it's the only way to play with more than 3 kids who can actually catch etc.
In the end, parents need to make decision based on what's best for their family. You will have plenty opportunities in his life to teach the so called life lesson. He is only 9 the life lessons will continue even after he becomes a man.
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turntwo

955 Posts

Posted - 04/16/2016 :  23:25:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gapper

On the flip side of this argument, when would it ever be appropriate for a team to remove a player from the team?



When the parent or player violate the code of conduct.
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