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first2third
3 Posts |
 Posted - 07/29/2011 : 09:48:14
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| when do parents stop coaching from the stands, stop telling coaches how to coach, asking about playing time. |
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reallycoach
64 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 10:55:17
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in over two decades it has never happened.  |
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jacjacatk
154 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 10:56:25
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| Google Colby Rasmus... |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 11:03:31
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When they stop coming to practices and games, LOL...
Seriously, I'm an eternal optimist... but I don't ever see that happening. You can only please 1/2 of the people , 1/2 of the time.
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 11:06:26
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quote:
Originally posted by first2third
when do parents stop coaching from the stands, stop telling coaches how to coach, asking about playing time.
1) when do parents stop coaching from the stands--> Never
2) stop telling coaches how to coach--> Never
3) asking about playing time--> Some never did in the first place. The ones that do never stop as far as I can tell.
#2 is pretty normal. I've been telling Bobby Cox, Fredi Gonzalez, Mark Richt and Mike Smith how to coach for years.
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dmb350
135 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 11:11:08
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Almost never.
The only exception is when your son is one of the studs. Then he plays/pitches/bats all the time, especially in the big games.
It's tough as a parent when you like the people who are complaining but it's obvious their kid isn't getting in because he's a lesser player. You try and make positive suggestions (private instruction, extra practice outside the team, ect...) but it pretty much falls on deaf ears.
Note to those parents- if you want your kid to play, YOU must help them improve. Coaches want to win and development is secondary. Take what you get at practice or lessons and APPLY IT on your own. Set up a tee and net in the garage, go to a local field, take some responsibility in helping your kid be as good as he can be. It's not a short term program, you've got to do it weekly. Make a sacrifice, grow a set and help your kid train. There is no bigger payoff than your kid including YOU on his list of people who helped him be successful. Baseball is NOT a spectator sport, not in my house anyway.
It's time consuming, frustrating at times and expensive sometimes but at least you're spending time with your son and I promise he will improve. My .02. |
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DecaturDad
619 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 11:30:18
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My self impossed rule as a parent: I only tell the coaches something about my son when it is either a safety issue. (I don't think that has happened since 9u.) or something that could negatively effect the game; "Coach, just wanted to let you know my son only had 2 hours of sleep last night. He may not be 100% today." (And that does not happen much either :-)
At 10U, my son thanked me for not saying anything from the stands. I still cheer, but I leave it at that. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 11:31:42
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Wish the "stud factor" were true. I've been on the team where the stud's dad was all for his boy being on the mound against lesser competition, but would have concern about some soreness in the arm whenever we were teeing it up against one of the really big boys. Dad took every step he could to ensure that little Johnny would always appear to be the infallible stud.
quote:
Originally posted by dmb350
Almost never.
The only exception is when your son is one of the studs. Then he plays/pitches/bats all the time, especially in the big games.
It's tough as a parent when you like the people who are complaining but it's obvious their kid isn't getting in because he's a lesser player. You try and make positive suggestions (private instruction, extra practice outside the team, ect...) but it pretty much falls on deaf ears.
Note to those parents- if you want your kid to play, YOU must help them improve. Coaches want to win and development is secondary. Take what you get at practice or lessons and APPLY IT on your own. Set up a tee and net in the garage, go to a local field, take some responsibility in helping your kid be as good as he can be. It's not a short term program, you've got to do it weekly. Make a sacrifice, grow a set and help your kid train. There is no bigger payoff than your kid including YOU on his list of people who helped him be successful. Baseball is NOT a spectator sport, not in my house anyway.
It's time consuming, frustrating at times and expensive sometimes but at least you're spending time with your son and I promise he will improve. My .02.
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dmb350
135 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 12:47:17
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Good example Dad's ego getting in the way.
Not for me, my son wanted to pitch against the Astros, RR or any other big name team. I was a little nervous for him but he put in the work and deserved to see where he stood. That's how they get better. The Dad you refer too is in for quite a rude wake up call in HS since he will have NO say so as to what his kid does on the field. |
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DecaturDad
619 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 14:09:46
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Then he is not really a stud. Only a stud in daddy eyes :-)
If he were really that good, he would look good no matter who he pitched against.
quote:
Originally posted by in_the_know
Wish the "stud factor" were true. I've been on the team where the stud's dad was all for his boy being on the mound against lesser competition, but would have concern about some soreness in the arm whenever we were teeing it up against one of the really big boys. Dad took every step he could to ensure that little Johnny would always appear to be the infallible stud.
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 14:41:10
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quote:
Originally posted by dmb350
Note to those parents- if you want your kid to play, YOU must help them improve. Coaches want to win and development is secondary. Take what you get at practice or lessons and APPLY IT on your own. Set up a tee and net in the garage, go to a local field, take some responsibility in helping your kid be as good as he can be. It's not a short term program, you've got to do it weekly. Make a sacrifice, grow a set and help your kid train.
+100000
Heck, you get it, and they will do it themselves. I don't know how many times I've come home from work and my son is in the yard hitting bucket after bucket.
If the only time a kid takes swings is at practice, he will not improve. And playing LL World Series on Wii doesn't count for batting practice!!
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 15:03:01
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WOW!! Great post dmb350!!! Couldn't have said it any better!!
You really have to step up as a parent!!!
quote:
Originally posted by dmb350
Almost never.
The only exception is when your son is one of the studs. Then he plays/pitches/bats all the time, especially in the big games.
It's tough as a parent when you like the people who are complaining but it's obvious their kid isn't getting in because he's a lesser player. You try and make positive suggestions (private instruction, extra practice outside the team, ect...) but it pretty much falls on deaf ears.
Note to those parents- if you want your kid to play, YOU must help them improve. Coaches want to win and development is secondary. Take what you get at practice or lessons and APPLY IT on your own. Set up a tee and net in the garage, go to a local field, take some responsibility in helping your kid be as good as he can be. It's not a short term program, you've got to do it weekly. Make a sacrifice, grow a set and help your kid train. There is no bigger payoff than your kid including YOU on his list of people who helped him be successful. Baseball is NOT a spectator sport, not in my house anyway.
It's time consuming, frustrating at times and expensive sometimes but at least you're spending time with your son and I promise he will improve. My .02.
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baseballfanatic325
19 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2011 : 17:55:09
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OK, Lets flip the script
When are coaches going to ??????
Stop Making false promises?
Stop Playing kids who dont deserve to play?????
Stop Creating a daddy ball environment with playing favorites for whatever reason, treating kids like they are their son??????
Stop letting kids stay on their team that is a bad apple thats disrupting the team chemistry????
Stop setting kids up to fail by putting them in positions or situations that they have no chance to succeed????
Stop asking for more money even when the financial obligation has been met????
Stop disrespecting other coaches and umpires??????
Goes both ways
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Edited by - baseballfanatic325 on 07/29/2011 21:47:50 |
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dmb350
135 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 00:03:47
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| The coaching issues stop as soon as your son is being paid to play. LOL. |
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dirtdawgs
58 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 00:11:30
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fanatic there is a big difference between the two. The coach is giving his time and has a right to make those decisions. The fans have a right to be respectful or to put in the same time and energy as the coach and become a coach. The reason everyone is an armchair quarterback is its easy to make decisions after the fact.
One thing that I know true without a doubt, parents are incapable of judging their kids objectively. The coaches have a million things to consider when making a decision and most are trying to balance being fair and winning. |
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 00:41:50
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| The playing kids who don't deserve to play is my biggest gripe......On most successful teams playing time is earned, however some coaches feel the need to play certain kids in big time situations...I realize you cannot improve on the bench but IMO that playing time should be reserved for your best 9-10....The players who have earned it. |
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dogatbat
45 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 07:36:11
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| BBF325, you have hit the big nail on the head! Seems to be in epidemic proportions in the 8-13u range, and does not discriminate along the lines of classification of the team, etc.. If I were your scool teacher, I would have to give you an A on your report.. Now, I, too, would like to hear from your classmates on this subject..There should be plenty of responses since even if you have played only a month of travel baseball, the odds are you have encountered this from a coach. I want some responses to BBF325's report!! |
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gasbag
281 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 11:58:48
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quote:
Originally posted by baseballfanatic325
OK, Lets flip the script
When are coaches going to ??????
Stop Making false promises?
Stop Playing kids who dont deserve to play?????
Stop Creating a daddy ball environment with playing favorites for whatever reason, treating kids like they are their son??????
Stop letting kids stay on their team that is a bad apple thats disrupting the team chemistry????
Stop setting kids up to fail by putting them in positions or situations that they have no chance to succeed????
Stop asking for more money even when the financial obligation has been met????
Stop disrespecting other coaches and umpires??????
Goes both ways
If that is your opinion of Coaches, why don't you Coach your son ? I'm just curious as I've Coached for many years () on a volunteer basis ! ). If your that unhappy and feel that strongly, why not be part of the solution and step up and volunteer to Coach ? I'm not trying to be offensive but I'm curious about this ? |
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 16:24:28
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quote:
Originally posted by dmb350
Almost never.
The only exception is when your son is one of the studs. Then he plays/pitches/bats all the time, especially in the big games.
It's tough as a parent when you like the people who are complaining but it's obvious their kid isn't getting in because he's a lesser player. You try and make positive suggestions (private instruction, extra practice outside the team, ect...) but it pretty much falls on deaf ears.
Note to those parents- if you want your kid to play, YOU must help them improve. Coaches want to win and development is secondary. Take what you get at practice or lessons and APPLY IT on your own. Set up a tee and net in the garage, go to a local field, take some responsibility in helping your kid be as good as he can be. It's not a short term program, you've got to do it weekly. Make a sacrifice, grow a set and help your kid train. There is no bigger payoff than your kid including YOU on his list of people who helped him be successful. Baseball is NOT a spectator sport, not in my house anyway.
It's time consuming, frustrating at times and expensive sometimes but at least you're spending time with your son and I promise he will improve. My .02.
Great post! My son and I go to the field every opportunity both during and between seasons. We feel like slackers today, but he just got back from an out of town tournament at about 2 AM and I have work to do.
My conversations with this year's coaches.
"Glad to meet you, we're looking forward to the season."
"Anything I can do?" (They usually didn't need anything, but I did keep score when they asked me to.)
"Congratulations! Great job!" (After a couple of our victories.)
"Thanks for a great season. He had a blast."
He didn't play as much as he would have liked, though he did pitch a lot. I have never said one word to any of his coaches about where or how much he played, he will sink or swim on his own. He's been one of the studs on a couple of the teams, but usually isn't.
I wish I had more dads like me when I was coaching.  |
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excoach12
159 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 18:08:57
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OK Dogatbat, here is my response after 18 years of baseball coaching:
What false promises? That every kid will play every game? Did your son bat? He played. Did your son go in for an inning of defense? He played. Did he play where and for as many innings as you wanted? I guess he probably didn't. Maybe he's not as good as you think he is and he played as much and during the situations where the coach thought he would be the most successful instead of embarrassing himself.
Kids who don't deserve to play? Who says they don't deserve to play? Shouldn't every kid play? From point 1 I think you are upset that your son did not play and now you are saying some kids don't deserve to play. Maybe your kid was one of them. If it was rampant on your team, you should have removed your son from that team and found another. I suspect you think your son is a AAA/Major player and you want him on that type team instead of moving him down to AA or A where the first two points would not be a factor. Is it more about bragging around the water cooler or putting your son where he will be happy and successful and challenged at the appropriate level.
"Daddy ball" is finally becoming a code phrase for what it has truly meant all along; "I'm mad my kid is not good enough to play constantly where I want him too and instead of facing the reality that he is not going to be a stud but more likely a dud I'm gonna deflect all blame by saying the coaches favor their own kids." Step back, take a look, have you thought "Daddy ball" on more than 1 team? If so, it might be your son is better suited for another sport.
If the coach lets a bad apple stay on the team for 1 season then he is trying to work with the kid to make him a better person. Maybe the only stability a kid like that has is his coach and team. Maybe he has "issues" and a coach who keeps him is a better person than just a coach who wants to win. If he keeps that kid more than a season then mybe you should select a different team where loving and supporting a troubled kid is not as important. But hey- you'll have more wins and thats all that counts, right? Bad Apple can be more than what it looks like on the surface is all I'm saying.
If a coach consistently puts a kid where he is not being successful than I fully agree with this one, the coach is making a huge error for the team and, more importantly, the player. Maybe that player has a dad sitting in the stands who constantly says the coach is playing daddy ball or his kid should be playing there or some of your other points so to shut him up the coach plays him there. Try a different team. Maybe one YOU start and coach.
Financial obligations- budgets are estimates, they are not written in stone. Coaches do their best to estimate costs but things happen you don't factor in. We went to Cooperstown and forgot to budget for a banner and pins! Added a couple hundred bucks to our budget. The catchers gear broke and was worn out so that added $250. The parents wanted to play in a wood bat tourney so that was not budgeted for. If the same coach keeps budgeting wrong, then find a team with a CPA or start your own and do it better.
Disrespect- Amen brother! You know a coach has grown up when he realizes how stupid HE looks yelling at another coach or umpire. I've done it, but not in the last several years. I guess it will stop for good when coaches stop having Type A personalities. But then again, there would go your win-loss record. :)
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baseballfanatic325
19 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 20:22:57
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| Gas. I do coach. Not my son though. So don't ASSume. Never said any of this happened to my kid. Been coaching at all levels up to college for 25 years. |
Edited by - baseballfanatic325 on 07/30/2011 22:14:58 |
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 20:31:14
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| I think all boys do deserve to play, but I don't think a AA kid should take innings away from a kid who is better offensively or defensively...A lot goes into what makes a player "better" that a lot of people/parents don't take into consideration such as baseball IQ or baserunning skills(both are overlooked when parents want to talk about hitting .500 when their son cannot score from 2nd on a gap shot!!) Just my opinion but certain teams have goals of equal playing time and others have goals of winning or competing in specific events that must be qualified for, I'm not 100% but I would guess that is what was meant with the deserve to play comment. I know I would have a problem(and wouldn't be in the minority on our team) if one particular player was consistently failing to produce but still awarded playing time from our top players at the level we play at. |
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baseballfanatic325
19 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 20:54:06
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Ex Ill try to give some basic examples
Stop Making false promises?
Saying season will be from certain date to certain date
Saying my pitchers only pitch a number of pitches
Saying we will have so many practices
Saying we will play in this many tournaments
Stop Playing kids who dont deserve to play?????
Playing kids who break team rules
Playing kids who disrespect umpires
Playing kids who disrespect the game
Stop Creating a daddy ball environment with playing favorites for whatever reason, treating kids like they are their son??????
We all know who these parents are spend alot of money and time talking to the coach.................
Stop letting kids stay on their team that is a bad apple thats disrupting the team chemistry????
This one needs no explanation
Stop setting kids up to fail by putting them in positions or situations that they have no chance to succeed????
Pitching a kid against the Astros or Titans and when they dont do well they dont pitch for a month.
Stop asking for more money even when the financial obligation has been met????
I guess this one could have been in the false promises category
Stop disrespecting other coaches and umpires??????
This one also needs no explanation. If you dont understand you havenet been coaching that long
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Edited by - baseballfanatic325 on 07/30/2011 22:14:58 |
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excoach12
159 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2011 : 23:34:15
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Sorry man but I find it very hard to believe you've coached for 25 years up through college level and asked the questions you did. Anyone who has coached for even 2 years knows the answers to your questions.
Absolutely every answer you gave could be solved by any parent in that position by either leaving the team or starting their own.
If a team were coached as poorly as you portray it would cease to exist after 2 seasons. Parents need to take the responsibility to fully vet a team before committing their child. If they don't, there is no one to blame but the parent.
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neverquit
128 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2011 : 08:43:55
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| Getting back to the orginal typic. From my coaching experience you will run into that parent that just wont shut up coaching from the stands, loud self absorbed and non-stop promoter of their child. This type of parent will prevent his child from getting on teams because of him. Yall know the type. We make this self absorb person a ass. coach. You are not going to shut him up from the stands. He does know some coaching. You are short coaches from time to time. You work him and he begins to quite down a little because he is doing the things that need to get done but you dont have the time. He begins to understand. Still a pain but controllable and now tolerable. His son is a very good player but has an attitude like dad. Everybody know his son is not as good as his dad thinks. Now dad can help control little Jonboy at practice. The dad sometimes cant make practice then you have a talk with him. Most parent/coaches come around. Its not easy as they think. Need to get him to quite down further make him keep the book. But keep another set because you know his numbers will be grossly slighted to his child. This has worked for us to help control situations. The only parent that really is low is the one that will slight another kids numbers just so his can look better. Do your best to weed this parent out no matter how good the kid. We always call the other coach before saying you are on the team. Better to have kids learning, getting better and having fun than on a great team that stays tense due to the adults. Every year you have a team implode. My policy is if a parent/coach is thrown out of a game their kids goes with them. Never lost a kid since. |
Edited by - neverquit on 07/31/2011 13:52:53 |
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When do parents stop bothering coaches.....
