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Angels Coach
6 Posts |
 Posted - 01/19/2010 : 19:44:41
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| I just want to hear some thoughts from coaches and parents on this issue. The reason I brought this question up is that I saw a 5 year old kid taking lessons from a private instructor. His older brother played travel ball and his dad wanted to get the jump on kids his age. I personally do not agree with pushing kids this early. I believe the best athlete is a kid who has a natural passion for the game. I am beginning to see a terrible trend of parents pushing kids at an earlier age. I am also witnessing parents purchasing all the latest gadgets and making baseball another course of study for the kid. What is the proper balance of time and how do you know when the kid is playing for his parent(Dad)rather than himself? Most kids will say they want to play but my gut feeling is that alot of them are playing for their parents. I know that any good baseball player has to put in the time but when is enough enough? |
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Scott0923
49 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 08:21:41
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My thoughts are that the CONCEPT behind wanting a kid to excel is very similar not matter if we're talking academics, athletics, musical instrument, foreign language, etc.
I agree if the parent is getting lessons, gadgets, etc AND screaming and yelling at the kid--that's too far.
However, parents push or let's say CHALLENGE their children academically to be the best and stay sharp "year round" through reading programs, tutorial sessions, etc.
The same applies to music, foreign lang, reading comprehension, and so on.
I do believe that the earlier a kid learns the right way and is getting "correct/sound" reps on a consistent basis he/she will be able to make adjustments more readily as they get older. (you don't have to "unteach/undo" bad habits).
"Hey kid get that elbow up!!!!" That's my favorite to hear at youth games but no parent can answer the question, "why are you yelling that?"
Anyway, if done with care cultivating a kid to learn work ethic and discipline through lessons is fine no matter the age.
REmemeber, kids learn BEST at early ages (athletics, academics, musical instruments) and it become "part" of them.
 Have a great day!!! |
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 11:25:26
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Providing a kid lessons on improving a skill is not necessarily "Pushing" a kid.
With my kids, it is a challenge to get them to do extra reading. I have to push them to do that. If we used the same logic as we do with sports, it would appear that I am pushing them too much and I need to let them progress at their natural rate and just enjoy it. Let them be kids.
My daughter has learned a very valuable lesson lately, and it is sports related but will go on beyond. She learned that the only way you can get better, and compete at a higher level, is to put in additional work. In doing that, she also learned that by putting in the extra work you can actually improve and excel at things you could not do before. I expect this to be a life lesson for her outside of sports.
"If I want to be better at something, I have to put in extra work. If I put in extra work, I will be able to do things better." |
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tfb
34 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 12:33:37
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Studies have shown that the time to start is when they are in the womb. If you get your pregnant wife to move her stomach a certain way the fetus will have a natural arm movement that emulates a home run swing.
All kidding aside.... I was fortunate enough to attend a panel discussion with Jeff Franceur, Brian McCann and both of their dads. Some one asked them about pushing a son too much. The answer was very simple - if the dad is the one waiting in the car to take to kid to practice there is a problem. If the kid is in the car waiting for the dad to take him to practice this is a good thing. By the way Jeff said he was so burnt out at age 12 he quit baseball for a year. |
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billbclk
164 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 13:01:09
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I agree with the first two replies. Unless he is being over bearing or yelling there is nothing wrong with showing your child the proper way to play a sport.
We are not born wanting to play sports we do it because we see others do it or our parents want us to, so I don't have a problem with a 5 year old playing a sport because a parent wants him to. However, once he/she decides that sports is not for them then move on to the next activity. |
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 13:55:10
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tfb,
That may answer a few questions for me. My wife played softball until she was 6 months pregnant with my son, so that may answer why he likes to play.
Bill that would dispell your theory that we are not born wanting to play sports. |
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whits23
596 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2010 : 15:47:54
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I have come to notice that a lot of coaches who are overbearing jerks that yell, scream and holler hide behind the work "Passionate"
As in "oh he is just passionate but he really loves the kis"
translation, he cant teach so he yells |
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Catchthiscoach
12 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2010 : 16:44:53
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| My opinion of this is that if you have talented players on your team you should be able to step it up a notch. But not yell or degrade a child just because he can't get something the first time.Coaches should coach their players not look out for their self image. I seen coaches distroy boys on the field and they never want to play again. These young kids have a lot of time to play ball. Beating them up at a young age causes alot not to return to the sport. Let them have fun and enjoy the game. |
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whits23
596 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2010 : 18:59:18
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echo to catch coach..would you want a math teacher screaming at a kid because he had trouble adding? Then why would a coach yell?
I have always said a coach who is yelling during a game never coached during the week. |
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gasbag
281 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2010 : 21:12:10
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| Learning the mechanics the correct way and practicing the correct way is always important....however, at age 5, having fun learning these things is tops in my book ! |
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Catchthiscoach
12 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 07:40:47
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| I don't want any coach yelling at my child. There are ways to step it up a notch and not yell as I stated. Yelling and being ugly to kids on the field will not get you anywhere quick. You can coach a good team and not yell. You get more out of a kid when you don't yell at them in front of the whole team. |
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coachdan06
433 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 11:35:22
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catchcoach and wits: you might want to define yelling.
raising your voice to get attention on a ball field is part of coaching part of getting control especially with a kid who has talent but hasnt learned to harness it or maybe make the proper effort .
screaming is a problem and unacceptable however and there is a huge difference in the two.
the math teacher is in a public classroom which is much different setting than on a ballfield for a private team , the two are worlds apart.
parents who cant stand to have their child called out or have voices raised towards them need to either stay away from the field themself or just take their child out of sports right away its a good bet those parents never played sports to begin with.
my best to all  |
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Rocky
290 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 13:11:52
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young players will play alot harder for a coach if they respect him, not for yelling and screaming. The respect doesn't come from screaming and yelling or threatening. If a young player doesnt want to go to practice or play a certain sport that should be a red flag, sometimes pushing can lead to that, sometimes it doesnt. Like baseball swings every player is different and what seperates the great coaches from the average coaches is knowing what motivates each individual player. Best advice for parents is take a break, drop the kid off at practice and go shopping, out to eat, take a walk. Parents as coaches is another problem, I have seen many a kid that would benefit more if their parents let them play for someone else beside dad.
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 13:59:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Rocky
Parents as coaches is another problem...
Only having enough coaches for 3 coaching staffs would be a bigger one.
I have one son playing for a sixteen year-old team. They played about 20 games during the Fall and none of them were against teams that were coached by non-dad coaches.
My other son has played over 200 games in All Stars and travel. I doubt 15 of them were against teams with outside coaches.
There is yelling and there is yelling. At the end of the day, if a kid plays sports long enough, he, or his team, is going to get yelled at. |
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whits23
596 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 14:55:26
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| Funny how you dont see Joe Torre or any good coaches come flying out of a dugout and get in a kids face...although i think some of the pro's need it. Trust me i do my share of yelling..once a kid can see eye to eye with a coach its not as bad as when a 6ft man is looking down yelling at a 4ft kid. Sometimes sitting the bench works better than yelling |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 16:34:43
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| I had a coach who yelled a lot approach me about my son playing for his team once. I politely told him I would think it over and let him know. I asked my son what he thought about playing for this coach and his exact words were "I don't want to play for him - all he does is yell and make kids cry". |
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2010 : 20:59:41
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I used to have a coach that NEVER raised his voice to us during game a game, and just was very positive ("That's ok, you will get it next time.", etc) and looking back we were never pushed to be better players. He did not push us to be better, but let us believe it was ok to fail and that we did not have to step up our game to succeed.
In the end, yelling may not be the solution, because I can't bring myself to do it either, but there are times kids need to be gotten onto and if parents don't like it, they need to go to soccer. |
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biged
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2010 : 08:51:14
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I feel pushing kids is fine. We push them in academics, proper wk ethics, hygiene, social skills, and etc. Why not baseball too? Playing sports is not just for fun. It must be purposeful. If your not doing your best and trying to improve then what r u doing it for?
This being said, when expectations are not realistic and the parent/coach become negative, insulting, embarrass the child, then pushing has gone too far.
One final point, make sure the kid wants to play. I have found that if a neutral person asks the child, "Do you like baseball? Do you like playing? " you are more likely to get a honest response.
p.s. When a kid says, "I don't want to practice", that isn't necessarily an indictment on playing baseball. This is when it is ok to "push" |
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biged
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2010 : 09:02:39
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Sorry, kind of got of the original topic a tad. 5 yr olds don't know whether they want to play baseball or become a brain surgeon. It is the parents job to expose children to team sports.
5 is a bit young for batting instruction. Really, how much can a little guy with an attention span of 5 min get out of 1/2 hr instruction.
However, if the instructor can make it fun and you have the money to burn, don't see the harm either. |
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whits23
596 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2010 : 10:46:47
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| Alter..you have not been to many soccer games..oh wait a minute thats not the coach yelling at soccer its the suburban mom cussing like a fool |
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6bomber
68 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2010 : 20:01:49
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encouraging a child to attempt to excel at something that they enjoy is the goal. surely a lot of kids are pushed toward
certain sports. whether it be football, basketball, baseball, and academics. we were lucky that our coach at the coach
pitch level opened their eyes to real baseball. yelling at the players or a certain player isn't needed, raising your
voice to get attention is sometimes needed. there is a difference. when it happens everyone usually knows. |
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coachdan06
433 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2010 : 01:18:19
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quote:
Originally posted by whits23
Alter..you have not been to many soccer games..oh wait a minute thats not the coach yelling at soccer its the suburban mom cussing like a fool
Good Golly Whit are you a suburban coach by chance ? |
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bmoser
1633 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2010 : 09:19:59
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| I know of a team that is putting their boys through strength and conditioning, and at least 1 boy has thrown up during it! |
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2010 : 10:30:22
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quote:
Originally posted by bmoser
I know of a team that is putting their boys through strength and conditioning, and at least 1 boy has thrown up during it!
See also, just about every football team's first week of practice. |
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coachdan06
433 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2010 : 13:19:36
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quote:
Originally posted by AllStar
quote:
Originally posted by bmoser
I know of a team that is putting their boys through strength and conditioning, and at least 1 boy has thrown up during it!
See also, just about every football team's first week of practice.
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2010 : 13:46:52
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bmoser,
That is pretty good odds, only 1:12 threw up? |
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How far should kids be pushed?
