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hshuler
1074 Posts |
 Posted - 01/17/2016 : 09:01:11
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@Bama - Reinforcement is a good thing. I have seen a few situations where dads would completely undermine coaching instruction because they THOUGHT they were more qualified.
I fully understand that not all instructors provide instruction that really makes a difference, but some dads...and moms, think they know best when they don't.
I am not referring to anyone on this post, especially since I don't know who you are. :-) It was a general statement.
This year, for the first time, I won't be my son's coach. I don't even attend practice because I know he's in good hands. This is a good bridge year (14u) for him to not hear my voice while he's in the batter's box before he attends high school next year. No matter how good your relationship is with your son, at some point, he will tune you out. He will just need to hear it from someone else. |
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BamaDad
188 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2016 : 16:27:52
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quote:
Originally posted by hshuler
@Bama - Reinforcement is a good thing. I have seen a few situations where dads would completely undermine coaching instruction because they THOUGHT they were more qualified.
I fully understand that not all instructors provide instruction that really makes a difference, but some dads...and moms, think they know best when they don't.
I am not referring to anyone on this post, especially since I don't know who you are. :-) It was a general statement.
This year, for the first time, I won't be my son's coach. I don't even attend practice because I know he's in good hands. This is a good bridge year (14u) for him to not hear my voice while he's in the batter's box before he attends high school next year. No matter how good your relationship is with your son, at some point, he will tune you out. He will just need to hear it from someone else.
hshuler - You actually hit two points here. I have accepted the fact that I am relegated to only "reinforcement" because my son has already begun "tuning me out" as an instructor even at 11U. I can completely understand not needing me for instruction because he is already under the tutelage of some of the best teachers in metro Atlanta. However, I hope that he will continue to look to me for reinforcement of those great lessons. I am learning to 'stay in my lane'.
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hshuler
1074 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2016 : 18:11:37
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@Bama - I recently asked my son what he was told to work on by coaches and he mentioned something that I told him about last year. Amazingly, he had no recollection of that conversation. :-)
This is how it goes:
Up to about 12 years-old...dads are the smartest beings on the planet.
12 years-old until he matures (age and maturity are not the same)...dads are dumbest beings on the planet.
Once he starts paying his own bills, you suddenly become a genius again. Especially when he needs to 'borrow' some scratch.
One last point, if your kid is stubborn don't be afraid to let him fail and taste a little humble pie. IMO, humble pie can be good in occasional small doses. Some parents want to jump in and rescue their kid at the first sign of adversity, thus robbing him potentially good life lessons. |
Edited by - hshuler on 01/17/2016 19:02:03 |
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BamaDad
188 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2016 : 20:13:14
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| @hshuler - You are singing my tune. I can't count the number of times that he has heard verbatim from an instructor something that I had previously told him. Most of the time, it was like he was hearing it for the first time. As for the humble pie, he had to digest a large slice of it today. I had been preaching to him to practice the hitting mechanics that he was taught in his last lesson. He blew me off and told me that he had it under control. Needless to say, he didn't have a good session today and the instructor really let him know that. I think it brought him down a peg and now he is self-motivated to work and correct his mistakes. Good stuff!! |
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brball
615 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2016 : 22:50:04
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| "Humble pie you taste so good"! |
Edited by - brball on 01/18/2016 09:45:19 |
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CaCO3Girl
1989 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2016 : 08:55:56
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hshuler, parents not allowing their kid to fail is a rampant problem in today's society. The words extraordinary and special should be used sparingly. Instead parents are instilling a sense of entitlement into this generation. They think if they show up and sort of try it should automatically work out for them because every time it didn't their parents fixed it so it did. They get to high school and even college having never known true failure or adversity. It's a big problem.
BamaDad, welcome to the double edged sword of having a youth player who knows he is good. For my son the breaking point was 12u. I moved my son to a team with a hard nosed coach. If you didn't put in the effort and the practice you didn't play. It didn't matter what you were capable of it only mattered what you were doing at that moment.
It was a HUGE wake up call for my son to be benched the first two games of the fall season. He finally asked me why I thought he was benched since he "knew he was better than some of the kids out there". He actually thought the coach was just ignorant of his skills. I explained that Coach X doesn't HAVE to let you play, you have to earn your spot to play and you do that through working hard. Right now those other boys are working harder than you and they will become better than you because of that. Why would the coach waste his time on someone who isn't trying? The days of you coasting by on your natural ability are over. The boys who are playing are the boys that are working, you are not, so enjoy the bench. He said "But that's NOT fair!" I said "What's not fair is you thinking you are such hot stuff that you don't have to work. Hard work gets rewarded, having talent won't get you off the bench".
That could have been the end of baseball for him. I really hoped it wouldn't be but it wasn't my work ethic that was going to get him onto the field. He had to knock that chip off his shoulder and decide if he was willing to work to get what he wanted. Turned out he was willing and by Spring he was on the field pretty much every inning and leading the team as they jogged around the field instead of being the last straggler. |
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hshuler
1074 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2016 : 10:03:46
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| @CaCO - Forget baseball, that'sounds a great life lesson. |
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BamaDad
188 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2016 : 10:52:10
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quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl
hshuler, parents not allowing their kid to fail is a rampant problem in today's society. The words extraordinary and special should be used sparingly. Instead parents are instilling a sense of entitlement into this generation. They think if they show up and sort of try it should automatically work out for them because every time it didn't their parents fixed it so it did. They get to high school and even college having never known true failure or adversity. It's a big problem.
BamaDad, welcome to the double edged sword of having a youth player who knows he is good. For my son the breaking point was 12u. I moved my son to a team with a hard nosed coach. If you didn't put in the effort and the practice you didn't play. It didn't matter what you were capable of it only mattered what you were doing at that moment.
It was a HUGE wake up call for my son to be benched the first two games of the fall season. He finally asked me why I thought he was benched since he "knew he was better than some of the kids out there". He actually thought the coach was just ignorant of his skills. I explained that Coach X doesn't HAVE to let you play, you have to earn your spot to play and you do that through working hard. Right now those other boys are working harder than you and they will become better than you because of that. Why would the coach waste his time on someone who isn't trying? The days of you coasting by on your natural ability are over. The boys who are playing are the boys that are working, you are not, so enjoy the bench. He said "But that's NOT fair!" I said "What's not fair is you thinking you are such hot stuff that you don't have to work. Hard work gets rewarded, having talent won't get you off the bench".
That could have been the end of baseball for him. I really hoped it wouldn't be but it wasn't my work ethic that was going to get him onto the field. He had to knock that chip off his shoulder and decide if he was willing to work to get what he wanted. Turned out he was willing and by Spring he was on the field pretty much every inning and leading the team as they jogged around the field instead of being the last straggler.
I really love the exchange that we have had on this topic and appreciate everyone's input that has been shared. I actually read some of your insight on here to my son as a wakeup call as well as pointing out that he is not alone in his erroneous thinking. This is his first year playing at the 'Major' level. He is realizing that he can no longer just show up, throw his cap on the field, and automatically be recognized as the best player there. Personally, I love it. He understands that your playing time is based directly on your practice time. No more showing up guaranteed to start. The frustration that he shows when not completely mastering something is both refreshing and reassuring to me. I get to see how much 'fight' he has in him. I let him know that this is how life will be as he gets older.
CaCO3Girl - Your "at that moment" statement made me smile. That is almost verbatim what I stress to my son everyday. It doesn't matter how good you think you are or how good you think you practice. What matters most is what you do "at the moment of truth". I explained to him that "the moment of truth" is when you have to 'walk the walk' and put it all into action when it counts. It doesn't matter if it is on the field, court, or even the classroom, you have to be able to deliver when it actually counts.
hshuler - Agreed, these are life lessons truly proving that "ball is life". |
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CaCO3Girl
1989 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2016 : 10:56:43
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quote:
Originally posted by hshuler
@CaCO - Forget baseball, that'sounds a great life lesson.
I wish everyone felt that way hshuler, but thank you. Sadly, most parents I have come in contact with would be more likely to call the coach to say it was UNFAIR, you are WASTING my boys talent, I paid the same as everyone else he should be playing....etc....etc.
I am very serious when I say my ONLY jobs during the season are to drive the car and write the checks. Everything else is up to my son. |
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bfriendly
376 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2016 : 18:06:03
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quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl
hshuler, parents not allowing their kid to fail is a rampant problem in today's society. The words extraordinary and special should be used sparingly. Instead parents are instilling a sense of entitlement into this generation. They think if they show up and sort of try it should automatically work out for them because every time it didn't their parents fixed it so it did. They get to high school and even college having never known true failure or adversity. It's a big problem.
BamaDad, welcome to the double edged sword of having a youth player who knows he is good. For my son the breaking point was 12u. I moved my son to a team with a hard nosed coach. If you didn't put in the effort and the practice you didn't play. It didn't matter what you were capable of it only mattered what you were doing at that moment.
It was a HUGE wake up call for my son to be benched the first two games of the fall season. He finally asked me why I thought he was benched since he "knew he was better than some of the kids out there". He actually thought the coach was just ignorant of his skills. I explained that Coach X doesn't HAVE to let you play, you have to earn your spot to play and you do that through working hard. Right now those other boys are working harder than you and they will become better than you because of that. Why would the coach waste his time on someone who isn't trying? The days of you coasting by on your natural ability are over. The boys who are playing are the boys that are working, you are not, so enjoy the bench. He said "But that's NOT fair!" I said "What's not fair is you thinking you are such hot stuff that you don't have to work. Hard work gets rewarded, having talent won't get you off the bench".
That could have been the end of baseball for him. I really hoped it wouldn't be but it wasn't my work ethic that was going to get him onto the field. He had to knock that chip off his shoulder and decide if he was willing to work to get what he wanted. Turned out he was willing and by Spring he was on the field pretty much every inning and leading the team as they jogged around the field instead of being the last straggler.
This this this^^^^^
Like I said B, you do much more than you give yourself credit for
I too love to see the young ones(and old) get a taste of humble pie.......it is good for us all.
SO many kids nowadays are being sheltered in a way that cant possibly last forever.....nor should it.
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The home schooled hitter
