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ingasven
120 Posts |
 Posted - 12/09/2008 : 16:54:33
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I've seen the glut of posts lately that seem to me to be asking for confirmation that the following occur:
1)Some coaches favor their sons.
2)There are coaches who manipulate or ignore stats.
3)There are parents who feel their son didn't get "a fair shake."
4)There are a plethora of other things wrong with youth baseball coaches.
5)Qualified coaches for some reason don't step forward as much as needed as far as younger age groups are concerned.
If I was from another planet, knew nothing about youth sports, stumbled across this board and did some extensive reading I would laugh at why anyone could possibly wonder why number five is probably pretty spot-on.
First let me say asking the following doesn't mean I feel a coach should be able to do any boneheaded thing he feels appropriate. I also understand there are times when a coach really is a "knucklehead" and should be told so & dealt with appropriately. Honestly though these folks usually weed themselves out.
What expectations do we have for an unpaid volunteer?
How much more than the ridiculous amounts we already spend are we willing to throw out in order to find someone who has the time and the knowledge to warrant being paid? (as if this will make any of these aforementioned ills go away).
Are these problems new to youth sports?
Have tens (or hundreds) of thousands of families found a way to navigate these situations to still play at higher levels or simply have an enjoyable career no matter how long it lasts?
How often do we as parents HONESTLY assess the situation objectively & without emotion?
Could we spend more time working with our kids and teaching them how to overcome adversity rather than teach them how to "cry foul" whenever the deck is stacked against them?
I don't want to turn this into a "parents vs. coaches" thread but rather just want us to look at these situations as we would problems in our everyday lives... recognize the roadblocks and determine which ones are critical and need to be blown out of the way & which ones aren't going to go away and therefore our energies could be utilized better elsewhere.
If you are an author of any of these posts I didn't write this to call you out or attempt to diminish your concerns so please don't reply saying I'm a moron or completely blind to the fact there are indeed dolts in charge of our kids....
But I'll ask...who let that happen?????? |
Edited by - ingasven on 12/09/2008 16:57:35 |
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greglomax
1031 Posts |
Posted - 12/09/2008 : 20:11:08
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Inga,
Welcome back. Where ya been? Missed ya. |
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ingasven
120 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2008 : 15:38:44
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Football season is over...I lurked around a little now and then when the schedule allowed.
I'm counting the days now until the first tourney!!!
Hope you have a Very Merry Christmas! |
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southpawmom
19 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2008 : 13:15:07
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I don't really think its a parents vs coaches issue. I think the reality is that people define "fair", "success" and "happiness" differently. Is the coach fair? Is a fair coach one who gives equal playing time to all or one that plays the best players? Was the season a success? Is my kid happy? Is a successful season learning a new position or improving the player's game or winning every game and tournament? Is a happy kid one that enjoys winning, one that enjoys learning new skills or one that enjoys being with teammates whether he gets to play an inning or not? All of these are reasonable definitions but very different and yield different outcomes of a season for teams and for kids.
But Inga, you're right - parents looking at the road blocks - they need to decide what they want their kids to get out of a season and get them on a team and with coaches that have the same goals. This takes time, patience and flexibility - because sometimes you have to adjust your expectations during the season. We've done this with our son and have had 9 very successful seasons and are looking forward to another one. And as our daughter begins fast pitch softball, we are researching leagues, teams, and coaches and attending practices and games to find a good fit for her. She has her own ideas about what makes softball fun, so we're starting with that.
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bmoser
1633 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2008 : 17:08:47
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Wonderfully stated! I can't add a thing to your post. Please join in more often.
quote:
Originally posted by southpawmom
I don't really think its a parents vs coaches issue. I think the reality is that people define "fair", "success" and "happiness" differently. Is the coach fair? Is a fair coach one who gives equal playing time to all or one that plays the best players? Was the season a success? Is my kid happy? Is a successful season learning a new position or improving the player's game or winning every game and tournament? Is a happy kid one that enjoys winning, one that enjoys learning new skills or one that enjoys being with teammates whether he gets to play an inning or not? All of these are reasonable definitions but very different and yield different outcomes of a season for teams and for kids.
But Inga, you're right - parents looking at the road blocks - they need to decide what they want their kids to get out of a season and get them on a team and with coaches that have the same goals. This takes time, patience and flexibility - because sometimes you have to adjust your expectations during the season. We've done this with our son and have had 9 very successful seasons and are looking forward to another one. And as our daughter begins fast pitch softball, we are researching leagues, teams, and coaches and attending practices and games to find a good fit for her. She has her own ideas about what makes softball fun, so we're starting with that.
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What is it that we're trying to determine?
