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bmoser
1633 Posts |
 Posted - 11/25/2008 : 18:42:56
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Coaches...please refrain a few days from responding. There's very few non-Coaches who blog here, so wont take long to hear us/them all out.
Parents...I've been a Head Coach for a very short time (an untimely family tragedy ended my season), and I've Assisted twice. I've enjoyed mostly good relations with my sons' Coaches. My son has played for 13 teams including Rec, all-stars, and travel.
I've leaned a lot about dealing with being a non-Coaching parent, and living with Daddy ball. I wish someone had told me what I know now.
My tips...
- what positions do the Coaches kids play and what position does your child enjoy playing? If there's a conflict, move on, or live with it.
Sorry, there's no other choice most of the time.
- find Coaching staffs whose kids really are superior players. I found this to be the best solution.
- get referrals. Ask League Directors, or anybody who played for the Coach before, but ask more than 1 to avoid grinding axes. Parents tend to be wrong on this stuff more than Coaches, which kills me to admit.
- ask the Coaches which positions they are looking for, or what positions they see Johnny playing. If you cant deal w/ it, move on. Don't count on anything else occurring.
- ask another Coach to assess your child's skills to check your view.
Or, a batting cage instructor who's not instructing/coaching your son.
- keep your own stats, and keep them private. Some Coaches don't publicize theirs, and trust me there's good reason for it. Give the season 6 games before discussing anything with the Coach.
- when you feel its time, ask your spouse, or a friend to have the conversation with the Coach. If you're reading this blog, and you've read this far, your too involved to be objective, and unemotional. Takes one to know one!
- no matter what, stay positive, and ask yourself: does Johnny seem to be having fun? Remember, you have the Coaches evaluations at seasons end, but until then, Johnny's Coach is all good. Subverting authority
is a dangerous game. Plus, this Coach is donating his time and trying his best, he just sees the World differently than we do, and MIGHT be giving his kid an edge. Are we sure we wouldn't do the same? Until age 10+, our kids don't know the difference anyway.
- if you find a Coach who doesn't play Daddy ball, or even does it to an acceptable level, stick with him.
- don't burn bridges, I've done that, and its a mistake.
- at season's end, don't be afraid to move on, and even change parks if need be.
- as time goes by, you'll appreciate these Coaches a lot more than you do now. Time heals all wounds.
I'm interested in hearing your thoughts since I'm still dealing with this topic myself, and don't know it all...yet!
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mammabee
95 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2008 : 22:51:47
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Im gonna answer this one at a time where I sure can ,great topic
and for you who know me its none abuot our coach we know that and are happy for that
- what positions do the Coaches kids play and what position does your child enjoy playing? If there's a conflict, move on, or live with it.
Sorry, there's no other choice most of the time.
USUALLY THATS TRUE , THE COACH'S EXPLANATION IS THIS IS THE PAYOFF FOR ALL HIS TIME !
- find Coaching staffs whose kids really are superior players. I found this to be the best solution.
FINE IDEA BUT THESE STAFFS DONT EXIST. REALLITY IS THAT AFTER 10s OR 11s WHEN THE GAME REALLY NEEDS COACHING REAL COACHING THE ONLY GUYS LEFT COACHING USUALLY ARE THE ONES WHOS BOYS DONT GET TO PLAY UNLESS THEY STILL COACH.THIS IS TRUE AT THE LARGE ORGANIZATION IN MARIETTA TOO ROSWELL , APHARETTA ITS ALL AROUND.
- get referrals. Ask League Directors, or anybody who played for the Coach before, but ask more than 1 to avoid grinding axes. Parents tend to be wrong on this stuff more than Coaches, which kills me to admit.
- ask the Coaches which positions they are looking for, or what positions they see Johnny playing. If you cant deal w/ it, move on. Don't count on anything else occurring.
- ask another Coach to assess your child's skills to check your view.
Or, a batting cage instructor who's not instructing/coaching your son.
ALL TRUES JUST MAKES SENSE AND YOUR RIGHT THE PARENTS CANT SEE CLEARLY OFTEN ABOUT THEIR SONS MANY DONT KNOW ALOT ABOUT THE GAME SO ASK AROUND ALOT
- when you feel its time, ask your spouse, or a friend to have the conversation with the Coach. If you're reading this blog, and you've read this far, your too involved to be objective, and unemotional. Takes one to know one!
WHAT?? I CANT AGREEE WHY NOT GO FACE TO FACE AND BE DECENT ABOUT IT THATS THE ONLY WAY.
- Until age 10+, our kids don't know the difference anyway.
THAT IS REALLY TRUE SO NOW AT 13s THEY ARENT FOOLED THEY DO REALLY CARE AND DONT LIKE THE DAD BALL THE BOYS TALK ABOUT IT
- at season's end, don't be afraid to move on, and even change parks if need be.
DO WHAT YOU MUST DO ITS FOR YOUR CHILD NOT FOR A COACH OR PARK ESPECIALLY ONE WHO DOESNT HAVE A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD FOR ALL THE PLAYERS. TEAMS THAT LOSE BIG NUMBERS OF PLAYERS EITHER GOT A BAD GROUP OF MOMS AND DADS AND SELF DESTRUCT OR REALLY DAD BALLED THEMSELFS TO DEATH. WEVE SEEN BOTH WHY STAY AROUND FOR MORE?
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Alter-Ego
802 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2008 : 13:43:56
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I would category "Dad Coaches" into one of the following categories:
1)Dad coach who is emotionally affected by how their son plays, but never treats him differently, than any of the other players, on the field. He may watch his son bat with a little more focus, but does not put him in a situation he would not any other kid on the team with the same skills and abilities. He is realistic with his son's abilities and shortcomings and utilizes those to the team's advantage.
2) Dad coach who is emotionally affected by how his son plays and will tend to look to find a place for him in the line-up, most of the time, but not at the detriment of the team. He may move him around to several different positions to get him in the game, but typically he is not considered one of the best players at any one position. This situation only really affects the other "bottom" players on the team as they may not get the equivalent amount of playing time.
3) Dad Coach who has unrealistic expectations about his son's skills and ability but also cares about teaching the other kids how to play, as well. He is more likely to have his son play a key role (SS, P, C) which could have detrimental affects on the team because it puts a weakness in a key position. It becomes a very visible situation and causes a lot of dissention on the team, on and off the field. The other players know, and are resentful along with turmoil with the parents.
4) Dad Coach is only interested with his son's playing and fields the team only for his son to have a place to play. He is not that interested or knowledgeable in developing the other players. He is just focused on how his son does and, at times, gets resentful if other players do better than his son.
As you can see, there are different stages and determining which one a coach falls into is the needed homework prior to joining a team. Watch some practices and see where his son fits in the team's ranking of talent and ability, along with how he handles him and the others with drills. If you can't pick his son out of the group, then you know he tries to see him as just another player. But if his son is getting 3 times the reps as everyone else and he is letting him play a lot of positions, most not very successfully, then I would say find another team.
Most of the time parents don't want to, or know how to, do the right homework before comitting to a team. Then once the season starts, the disaster occurs.... |
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pcc
28 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2008 : 21:16:40
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| Good comments. Daddy ball is just part of little league sports. I think it is worse in some other sports. Just know it is going to happen and deal with it if you can stand it and move on if not. |
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743
215 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2008 : 22:19:02
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| It's funny,if you gave the best kid on the team a lineup card and a pencil, he could make out a better defensive lineup than most coaches because kids aint stupid. They know which kids are weak and where they can and can't play. Like someone said earlier on alot of these travel ball teams at young ages the coaches kid is toward the bottom of the pack. |
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baseball99
89 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2008 : 10:35:16
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| "Daddy Ball" is unfortunately just part of youth sports. In my opinion, football seems to be the worst. It seems the coach's son is the quarterback 90+ percent of the time. It is also very commonplace in baseball. Much of what bmoser said is true. To me, the parents have to consider what is most important for them and their son. Is is worth it to have your son play on a good team and be denied opportunities again and again so that the coach's son can be put in a position to fail time after time? Or would you rather he play on an average team and be given all the opportunities you feel he deserves. Either way, I hope that the parents would help their sons learn lessons from either scenario. I've been at both ends of the spectrum and will avoid "Daddy Ball" at all cost. We are lucky enough now to be involved with a coach that puts the best interest of the team before anything else. Those coaches are hard to find. |
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WaltDem
51 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2008 : 13:10:45
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Dad ball lives more in some parks than others where it is not tolerated as much .
Coaches that push it lose people but then dont want to replace those boys talent because of fear the new guys might also outshine their son and take his position its usually pretty clear. That is the worst dad ball : son over team improving.
But have got to argue that even worse team dynamics are bad selfish parents who care nothing of the team just their son and his take .
We have all been around them and its a lot worse than the dad ball becuse you have to be around the stands and listen to them , and watch them.
They are the ones you really need to find about and stay off that team , before starting a team season.
Or its a long summer. |
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Dr. Old School
314 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2008 : 18:52:51
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Walt,
You have keyed in on something. There are many parents that don't really assess where their kids fit on the team and spend a lot of time complaining about "He should be out there instead of XXXXX." When actually their kid is being used to his and the teams benefit. Unfortunately not to the parents. The parent looks for anyone in the stands to complain to, to the point the other parents don't want to be cornered by them. They start stirring up imaginary problems and look for others, who's kids are not playing all the time, to help fuel the fire. |
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coachdan06
433 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 11:28:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Old School
Walt,
You have keyed in on something. There are many parents that don't really assess where their kids fit on the team and spend a lot of time complaining about "He should be out there instead of XXXXX." When actually their kid is being used to his and the teams benefit. Unfortunately not to the parents. The parent looks for anyone in the stands to complain to, to the point the other parents don't want to be cornered by them. They start stirring up imaginary problems and look for others, who's kids are not playing all the time, to help fuel the fire.
True.
Most of this from parents who dont know much about team sports if any sports at all. Cant relate , cant share , there for the wrong reasons.
The child in this scenario will not go far in sports due to a variety of obvious circumstances.
It's worse now than 15 years ago , just another form of materialism .
Best to all  |
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bmoser
1633 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 19:08:59
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What a chasm we have here! I haven't read much I disagree with from either side, but can you all see the opportunity for improvement some Coaches and Parents have here?
For the most part, what we have here is a failure to communicate...and to a lesser extent, a few bad Coaches and Parents who need to be reigned in, or move on. How do we catch it before it's too late?
Any ideas for solutions?
You guessed it, I have a few.
Parents: It helps to hear it from an impartial 3rd party what your sons' strengths and weaknesses are.
It helps to be willing to work outside the teams' regimen to improve these weaknesses.
Coaches: It helps to assign an Assistant to communicate these strengths and weaknesses to parents.
When you know families working on them, reinforce it by giving them some playing time in non-critical games at their desired positions.
These seem to be logical first steps. If neither side is willing to do so, then we have identified the Coaches and parents to avoid next time around.
Prevention is key, but if you fail there, I see this as plan "B".
Comments?
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baseball99
89 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2008 : 09:31:14
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| One thing I have learned the hard way is that, even when people ask for the blunt truth regarding themselves or their kids, they are not really interested or ready to hear it. There are exceptions to this but not many. I think it's a matter of perception. Most individuals perceive themselves (or their kids) much differently than the rest of the world does. Not a knock on anyone ... just what I have noticed. |
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jay
177 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2008 : 16:00:40
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Any particular reason no one seems to think that the parks are culpable here? I hear the daddy's get filleted mostly. That might be one of the reasons it's so difficult to recruit them to coach.
bmoser... not certain how useful that advice is going to be for the rec/all-star crowd as those kids are drafted. More for the travel parents; it's such a complex environment though.
Your best bet is to just do some leg work to find a "suitable" fit, be a team player and keep a good attitude when you do (no matter the reality, did you do the legwork?), and practice off the field whenever you get a chance. Heck most of this even applies to the rec/all-star group.
This covers it all, if someone else has the spot you want, eventually that practice will likely unseat him; no coach is going to keep his best player on the bench. And heck everyone likes a great attitude not to mention it makes you a better person.
If you do these, then you've got no one else to blame unless you've been flat out mislead and that's another story entirely. |
Edited by - jay on 12/02/2008 20:39:36 |
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bmoser
1633 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2008 : 21:28:30
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Jay,
Darned right the parks are responsible so far as Rec, all-stars, and park-based travel teams are concerned. And that's most of us. I've had my son play out of 2 Gwinnett County parks, and 2 city operated parks, one in Gwinnett and one in Forsyth.
I could write a book on my experiences. Cliff notes: there are a few guys who run the show who dictate how severe the Daddy-ball is going to be. The more they want to do it, the more they will allow it.
The Counties and Cities want nothing to do with it unless a law has been broken. In the parks defense, their budget has been cut so deeply that they cannot possibly monitor these lower level issues.
I see privately owned and operated facilities as the future, especially at the higher levels. Gwinnett needs one so badly, It 's harmful to my health to think about it.
quote:
Originally posted by jay
Any particular reason no one seems to think that the parks are culpable here? I hear the daddy's get filleted mostly. That might be one of the reasons it's so difficult to recruit them to coach.
bmoser... not certain how useful that advice is going to be for the rec/all-star crowd as those kids are drafted. More for the travel parents; it's such a complex environment though.
Your best bet is to just do some leg work to find a "suitable" fit, be a team player and keep a good attitude when you do (no matter the reality, did you do the legwork?), and practice off the field whenever you get a chance. Heck most of this even applies to the rec/all-star group.
This covers it all, if someone else has the spot you want, eventually that practice will likely unseat him; no coach is going to keep his best player on the bench. And heck everyone likes a great attitude not to mention it makes you a better person.
If you do these, then you've got no one else to blame unless you've been flat out mislead and that's another story entirely.
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WaltDem
51 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 09:05:01
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quote:
Originally posted by jay
Any particular reason no one seems to think that the parks are culpable here? I hear the daddy's get filleted mostly. That might be one of the reasons it's so difficult to recruit them to coach.
bmoser... not certain how useful that advice is going to be for the rec/all-star crowd as those kids are drafted. More for the travel parents; it's such a complex environment though.
Your best bet is to just do some leg work to find a "suitable" fit, be a team player and keep a good attitude when you do (no matter the reality, did you do the legwork?), and practice off the field whenever you get a chance. Heck most of this even applies to the rec/all-star group.
This covers it all, if someone else has the spot you want, eventually that practice will likely unseat him; no coach is going to keep his best player on the bench. And heck everyone likes a great attitude not to mention it makes you a better person.
If you do these, then you've got no one else to blame unless you've been flat out mislead and that's another story entirely.
interesting points Jay.
i differ with you on a few. mostly about if someone else has the spot you want, eventually that practice will likely unseat him; no coach is going to keep his best player on the bench..
Oh yes he will . ive seen it over and again so have you.
it is hard to keep the best player on the bench but thats not what were talking about here.
we all know and and see that practice and better play does not necessarily unseat a coaches kid or even a favored kid.
depends on the coach. thats what were talking about .
where I agree is to say the parks have some blame especially the so called rec parks. they choose dads to coach whom they know are biased and whose sons are not good players and this is done to favor politics not to create a competitive team.
good players leave and the so called coaches dont care their agenda is covered.
the Parks board sets this up to happen. |
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greglomax
1031 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 09:12:52
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Jay brought up a good point. No player should expect to get 100% of their development in practice. There is just not enough time for a coach to work on every piece of fundamentals with every player. Particularly not ground balls and fly balls. In order to get better, you have to work outside of practice. That means taking grounders, fly balls, long tossing, catching, tee work, etc, to get better.
I have heard a lot of parents say "I can't do that with them." I disagree. Every parent could get out and roll grounders to their kid and let the kid just drop the balls in a bucket. They don't have to throw them back to the parent if that parent is not comfortable catching the ball. The parent can take them to a park somewhere to hit off of a tee. All they have to do is stand there and place the next ball on the tee. They can also find a field where the kid can take balls and long toss with them without a partner. Throw, go pick up the balls, throw them back, pick them back up, and so on. (This is the approach our coach has recommended for our boys to continue to develop.)
If the player is a catcher, taken them to the automatic batting cages and let them go in there and catch pitches rather than hitting them. Anything to get repetition. The main thing for the parent to continue to ask is "What is Coach ???? telling you to do in this situation?" Reinforce what the coach is teaching.
It also may mean taking pitching or hitting lessons from an instructor.
I know this is a little off the subject, but as Jay reminded us, there are more components than just finding the right coach. |
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baseball99
89 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 10:11:19
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| If the parks truly wanted to field the best travel teams, they would assign a committed or small group of impartial coaches to select each team. Then, from the Dad's of the players selected for the team, they would interview and select a coaching staff. Unfortunately, this would make too many coaches that are "Daddyball" oriented mad and it won't happen. I've served on a board before and suggested this exact thing and the room erupted with opposition to it. |
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3sondad
220 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 11:05:35
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It is my humble opinion that daddy ball is not enough for a season to be unbearable. My boys have played seven years for 3 different teams and daddy ball exists to some extent in all instances. Parent's need to understand that the coach knows his boy best on the team and will always put his trust in his son before anybody else.
Parents take note, I don't care how obvious the daddy ball situation is on your son's team. It does not matter that the daddy ball situation has NOTHING to do with your son's playing time. When you mention Daddy Ball, you will be looked at by others as an unrealistic parent. The parents on my son's team went from naming it, to just saying "it is, what it is"... or "it was, what it was".
And another thing ... Sportsmanship on the field and OFF the field will make or break a season. The coaches that play with the best sportsmanship and expect their players to perform at their best and show sportsmanship through successes and through failure will be more successful in the long run. (The parents will feed off that and the attitudes will be positive.) But the finger pointing, complaining among themselves (and with parents) coaching staff will be short lived. Well if you do see them again, they are looking for 6+ players each year and in most situations new assistant coaches. If you mix in the unrealistic expectations of winning (without putting in the work!!!), you have the recipe for a disastrous season. Luckily, we experienced one of these early in my oldest son's travel ball seasons and I think I know what to look out for ... I took my younger son to a couple of tryouts this fall and after talking with the coaches (not even the manager in one case), I thought to myself look out for the disaster train.  I could actually hear Ozzie's Crazy Train playing in my head.
I have always thought the best thread on a site like this would be "Your Best Un-Sportsmanship Experience Seen at the Park." I have some ROFL ones. But on this site, half the people would know who I was talking about!!!  |
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BBall123
395 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 12:00:10
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That Coach! I cant believe that guy!
Does'nt he Know its his job to;;; Coach and teach the team, schedule all games tourneys and practices, design the Uni's, put the team and coaching staff together, handle the money, organize and run all practices, haul half the kids around to the practices and games, stay late waiting on the parents of the other kids, have extra practices just for those kids whose parents wont take the time to work with them at home so that they dont lag to far behind the others, make the line up up, and then he has the gall to put "his" kid in somewhere! I cant believe that jerk! Oh yeah and deal with the parents!
I have coached Baseball,Football and basketball for over 10 years and I am SICK of these parents! You are either too loud or not loud enough, you are to strict or not strict enough, You care to much about winning or not enough. and if none of that sticks on him you can allways say ;; he plays daddy ball!It does not matter where he plays his kid someone will accuse him of it.
If you are a parent that is like this dont even bring your kid to my team..........................
Unless hes a lefty...with a great fastball and a change up ... and hits 300 with power ;-) |
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baseball99
89 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 13:04:57
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This was funny Bball ...
quote:
Originally posted by BBall123
That Coach! I cant believe that guy!
Does'nt he Know its his job to;;; Coach and teach the team, schedule all games tourneys and practices, design the Uni's, put the team and coaching staff together, handle the money, organize and run all practices, haul half the kids around to the practices and games, stay late waiting on the parents of the other kids, have extra practices just for those kids whose parents wont take the time to work with them at home so that they dont lag to far behind the others, make the line up up, and then he has the gall to put "his" kid in somewhere! I cant believe that jerk! Oh yeah and deal with the parents!
I have coached Baseball,Football and basketball for over 10 years and I am SICK of these parents! You are either too loud or not loud enough, you are to strict or not strict enough, You care to much about winning or not enough. and if none of that sticks on him you can allways say ;; he plays daddy ball!It does not matter where he plays his kid someone will accuse him of it.
If you are a parent that is like this dont even bring your kid to my team..........................
Unless hes a lefty...with a great fastball and a change up ... and hits 300 with power ;-)
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Learnpatience
69 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 13:58:05
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Coaching is a thankless job. Darned if they do and darned if they don't.
I have to agree with Greglomax and baseball123. The real challenge for a parent is to spend the time with their kid to improve their skills outside of "normal" team practice time. Is it difficult? Yes. Does it take the right kind of kid to make it happen? Absolutely.
Not all kids/parents have this makeup. These are the ones that invariably lambast the coaches. Since baseball is a team sport, each kid on the team has a role. It is up to the parents to find out what role their kids play on the team. If it is not what you would like, find another team where your dream role is fulfilled.
"Daddy ball"...........good grief.
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jay
177 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 15:12:25
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I'm with BBall. If a coach wants to pitch his son every inning or play him at short every inning, so be it. I wouldn't do it myself and I might not be completely happy with it, but I'm certainly ok with it. I just have no sympathy for parents grousing about playing time. None, nada, zero.
I think I'm very fair myself; much to the detriment of my son on too many occassions. But, there are just too many possibilities why Joey's not playing and Johnny is. If one of them happens to be that he's the coaches son, oh well. It that's one fewer player that coach has to worry about getting in the game, then great we made his job that much easier. Now we don't have to buy him a $100 gift certificate at the end of the season.
The conversation with my son is going to be something like this... "Keep your chin up, keep practicing and when your nbr's called do your best. You'll be a better person in the end not to mention a better ball player. Whining is just going to make you better whiner."
Can't say that I've seen it much in my lifetime. Probably because I've never even considered letting someone else coach my son; call it my big ego and I've learned a lot from it all too. But more so I like getting out there and hitting balls to him. I especially get a kick out him trash talking me when he's batting. I get to practice throwing inside then. |
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bmoser
1633 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2008 : 15:31:00
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I appreciate you bunky! Most Coaches are great most of the time. Most parents are great most of the time too. I believe the Coaches do deserve to give their kid a little extra for the effort. Besides, Coaches kids are making a sacrafice when Dad coaches, and most Coach Dads are tougher on their sons than any other Coach would be, so the Coaches kid deserves a break too. Just keep it real for the good parents sake. You know, the parents who never miss and are always on time, work w/ their kids often, make the team banner, find sponsors, sponsor the team themselves, and never complain no matter how bad things get. B-T-W, my kid is the hard throwing lefty pitcher w/ a killer change that bats 300+ your looking for. He doesnt hit for power though, but his Coaches are okay with that (:
quote:
Originally posted by BBall123
That Coach! I cant believe that guy!
Does'nt he Know its his job to;;; Coach and teach the team, schedule all games tourneys and practices, design the Uni's, put the team and coaching staff together, handle the money, organize and run all practices, haul half the kids around to the practices and games, stay late waiting on the parents of the other kids, have extra practices just for those kids whose parents wont take the time to work with them at home so that they dont lag to far behind the others, make the line up up, and then he has the gall to put "his" kid in somewhere! I cant believe that jerk! Oh yeah and deal with the parents!
I have coached Baseball,Football and basketball for over 10 years and I am SICK of these parents! You are either too loud or not loud enough, you are to strict or not strict enough, You care to much about winning or not enough. and if none of that sticks on him you can allways say ;; he plays daddy ball!It does not matter where he plays his kid someone will accuse him of it.
If you are a parent that is like this dont even bring your kid to my team..........................
Unless hes a lefty...with a great fastball and a change up ... and hits 300 with power ;-)
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pcc
28 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2008 : 02:04:02
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I think the best answer is to have coaches that don't have kids on the team obviously but there are just not enough good, qualified coaches out there that want to teach the game for free so we are kind of stuck when it comes to daddy ball. The best solution is to pay a coach who doesn't have a kid on the team but there probably aren't many of those and it would get way to expensive. I think if you can't find a well quailified coach that doesn't have a kid on the team to coach for free (which will be almost impossible)or you don't want to pay for a coach (because it will be way too expensive) you are kind of stuck with Daddy Ball.
By the way, football is the worst. Every QB on every team in little league has a dad as coach that I have seen Now I am sure that might not be the case everywhere but on most teams it is. My suggestion is if you can't beat them...join them. If you think your child will be a good QB or RB joining the coaching staff. I know this doesn't solve the problem but if having your son play one of the skill positions is most important to you....you might need to join the coaching staff or live with it. |
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HITANDRUN
436 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2008 : 08:59:42
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| I don't mind a little "daddy ball" or atleast give the kid a chance at a particular position, but when it's obvious he isn't helping the team, give another player a chance, if he performs, don't move him. Especially in travel ball, you want to give the team the best chance to win, and the players a chance to do well. It's painful to sitback and watch coach jim's son miss ball after ball, game after game. Then at the end of the season kids get moved around and you realize how much better your team could have been with better players in key positions. |
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Marinersfan
57 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2008 : 15:07:18
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While Daddy ball certainly exists on some teams, it is way to easy to just blurt out that phrase when something does not go the way you think it should with your kid. I have seen too many instances of parents who's kids don't show up for practice, come to games 20 minutes before start time, don't put in the work to try to get better, don't know the defensive schemes because they were not paying attention at practice, ignore the bunt sign because they want to hit away yet will blame everything on daddy ball when their kid is not playing a position they think he should be playing or used to play when he was 6 in rec all-stars. And if a disgruntled parent says "daddy ball" enough times over and over, people will believe it and your team or coach can be stuck with that stigma even if its not true.
Just because a coach's kid may bat 3rd or play short does not mean they are a daddy ball team. In fact, one thing probably worse than Daddy ball is the coach who moves his kid, or an assistant coach's kid from a position or spot that he has earned through hours of hard work and dedication just to appease parents of slacker kids who threaten to disrupt a team with cries of Daddy ball. You can go over to a number of parks in the area at 9 or 10 at night and see kids taking ground balls or fly balls long after practice is over. Its often the coach or assistant coach giving his kid extra work trying to make him better while disgruntled parents are on the way home for the night talking bad about the coach with the kid sitting in the back seat. It isnt Daddy ball when a hardworking kid who's dad is a coach beats out someone else who was a stud at age 6 or 7 but rested on his glories and got upstaged at 9, 10, 11 or 12. But despite these bad apples I still think the vast majority of parents (and coaches) are supportive, positive and highly dedicated to their children and the team as a whole.
But Daddy ball certainly exists. Often times its by those disgruntled parents who's kids got legitimately beat out the prior year so they leave to coach their own team and stick their kid exactly where they want him to be in the lineup. But those teams cannot remain successful for long. In fact, no team is going to be highly successful if they have an inferior kid at an impact position for long. Not given the level of competition around here.
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Edited by - Marinersfan on 12/04/2008 15:15:19 |
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jay
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Posted - 12/04/2008 : 16:05:32
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dad-dy ball
-noun, verb, adjective (-er)
1. (Slang) parent coach philosphy
2. parent coach
-verb
1. anytime a coach's son plays baseball
-adjective
1. colloquial adjective coined in the United States to describe any coach with a son on the team
2. (Chiefly Apalachian hr) an under-handed reference to a player's skills
Origins: pre-1700 (wikipedia) Seen in print as early as 1685 in the Welsh Calvinist Jebediah Aloysius Batholder-Crane's 'Bad Begetters' speech. This famous speech decrying the parenting habits of Mayflower parents is commonly cited as being the impetus for Thomas Wilson's public rant in the late 1690's regarding "cudgel-playing, baseball and cricket" occurring on Sundays because of his profound displeaure with parishioners following events. Pastor Thomas was quoted as saying..."..a farthing to his holiness's coffers for every 'Fathering ball' remarking on poor Belden's cudgeling..." |
Edited by - jay on 12/04/2008 19:43:19 |
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For parents only...Daddy ball 101
