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b@s3b@11
23 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2012 : 09:04:24
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I can't believe there isn't a post about this somewhere on here.
Do coaches generally call or email with offers?
And what's the etiquette as far deferring an answer for a few days?
I imagine it's pretty common but still, do coaches look down upon it or expect it? |
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PeachFuzz
76 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 09:52:11
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Usually its a call or email. Also, as the players get a little older, you'll find that alot of coaches will ask for the player when they call. Many coaches start laying the foundation for the player/coach relationship at the time of the invite. You'll also find that alot of coaches will want an answer within a day or so. They know what tryouts are coming up, and they don't want to be strung along for days (or weeks). I have found that honesty is indeed the best policy. If you want your player to attend another tryout, tell the coach that. If you try to put him off, he's probably going to assume that is the reason anyway. Its much better to be up front about it, rather than make up some bogus excuse and then he finds out later that your player attended two other tryouts. That is a really quick way to get an offer revoked. Not for attending another tryout, but for playing games with him.
Its dicey...you get an offer to play from your 2nd choice team...your first choice has tryouts the following weekend...you want to attend, but you have not gotten the "wink" from your first choice's coach. Your player will be happy on the 2nd team..but will be happier if he makes the first choice team...how do you handle it without putting at risk the offer you already have on the table?? I say you're better off being up front about it rather than playing games with the coach who has made the good faith offer to your kid.
I tell my son fairly often, that baseball is teaching him more than just how to hit a curve ball or field a short hop...it is teaching him life lessons about how to deal with great people, difficult people, success and failure.
What life lessons am I teaching him if I am being blantently dishonest with a coach regarding his offer for my son to play for his team? |
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b@s3b@11
23 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 10:10:42
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quote:
Originally posted by PeachFuzz
Its dicey...you get an offer to play from your 2nd choice team...your first choice has tryouts the following weekend...you want to attend, but you have not gotten the "wink" from your first choice's coach. Your player will be happy on the 2nd team..but will be happier if he makes the first choice team...how do you handle it without putting at risk the offer you already have on the table?? I say you're better off being up front about it rather than playing games with the coach who has made the good faith offer to your kid.
Bingo. The waiting game is terrible. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 10:17:52
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Fuzz hits it on the head. One note about getting an offer from your number 2 team before knowing what's in the cards with the number 1. As he said, be honest. If the coach needs an answer before you know what your first choice is going to do, and you decide to accept the bird in hand, then commit, all-in. Don't commit and try out or entertain offers from any other team. Accepting an offer with any team and allowing your son to remain on the market for something "better" is a horrible example to set for your son, dishonest, and potentially devastating to the team that you've committed to.
If you shake hands on a deal, literally or figuratively, man up and live up to your word.
This is the time of year when otherwise honest people begin to sell their souls and all future credibility they have. Don't think the rest of the youth baseball world won't know what you (your son) did. |
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stepoff
92 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 10:42:17
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| When entertaining offers, what is ok to ask the coaches when they call? Can you ask who else has comitted? What level do you see the team of players you are putting together (would hate to commit not knowing the others on the team and then find out you just signed your AAA player up for a single A program)? What will the budget be? Where do you see my son playing? Do you plan end of season in Orlando, Myrtle, etc.? What is acceptable to ask? So far all the coaches which have approached us have been very forth-coming with info but what is off-limits to ask? This, of course, is at the younger ages. |
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BREAMKING
323 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 10:59:45
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| stepoff at younger ages I would ask if he bats entire line up all the time, just league type games, pool play games etc. Ask if they teach kids multiple positions. Young ages most important thing is to improve and develop a love for the game. It will become like a job soon enough for them. Enjoy the ride you will blink an eye and it will be over soon enough. |
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SSBuckeye
575 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 12:23:43
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| Stepoff, every one of your questions is appropriate and fair game. As a coach, I am happy to answer those types of questions. Remember, it benefits both the parents and the coaches to get all of that out in the open up front, if you're doing things the right way. |
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PeachFuzz
76 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 13:09:06
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When a coach calls with an invite, you're free to ask pretty much anything you want to. Now be smart about it..you can ask what role he sees for your son....but don't try to get him to sign in blood that your son is (without question) the starting SS (especially if your son is new to the team and has only performed at the tryout). If your son plays 3B, feel free to ask how many potential 3B's he has on the roster...Ask about the level of tourneys he plans to sign up for...ask about estimated costs and amount of travel anticipated...ask him his policy regarding private lessons...ask how many new vs returners he has (this can be a good indicator as to if you want to accept). If he has 3 returners and 12 new kids, that should be a red flag....
Again, its been my experience that during the invite period, you can ask any reasonable questions....the operative word being "reasonable". |
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SoxIn7
42 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 14:13:31
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just had the multiple offer situation happen for my son. I was honest with both the coaches and I gave them a date I would give them an answer...both were cool with it and I hid nothing from them. They asked who and I shared and also explained my reason for the decline to the other team. That coach was gracious and we have communicated since then.
I didn't really expect it since this was the first time we tried out for multiple teams....just had two private workouts on the same day and he did well.
Fortunatley, they were two very different types of teams, so it made the decision criteria a little easier to sort through on tangible items instead of my gut. |
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4bagger
131 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2012 : 17:47:41
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Honesty all the way. If you are waiting to see how you will do with another tryout then say so and be ready to hear that the offering team will not guarantee a spot later on. Then accept it if the spot is gone. It's only fair and right that if YOU want whats best for you that the coach wants whats best for him.
At the offer ask any question you want, nothing should be off limits. But expect to hear non-commital answers like "might", "maybe", "I hope too", "the plan is", etc. Because if I say I will definitely bat every kid every game or you're kid is the starting 3B man and I miss that even once, you have grounds to leave the team because I did not keep my word.
No coach can guarantee you anything at offer time with only a 1 or 2 day look at your kid. The majority will do their best to give you the experience you want but there are just too many variables to guarantee anything.
The family should commit to the team for the season and not look back. The coach should commit to the kid for the season and not look back. One of the reasons why I don't like some of the elite level teams- too many times they are committed to the win and not the player or family. |
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dad4kids
109 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 10:52:56
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quote:
Originally posted by PeachFuzz
I tell my son fairly often, that baseball is teaching him more than just how to hit a curve ball or field a short hop...it is teaching him life lessons about how to deal with great people, difficult people, success and failure.
What life lessons am I teaching him if I am being blantently dishonest with a coach regarding his offer for my son to play for his team?
Great post. And (unfortunately) dead on about dealing with difficult people or worse, but better to start learning that now because I haven't found any earthly activity without 'em! |
Edited by - dad4kids on 08/03/2012 11:03:10 |
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PeachFuzz
76 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 11:09:39
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Good Point 4bag. Which leads to one more question that should be asked. I would ask that once the roster is picked, are you (as the coach) done looking? Too many "elite" teams will pick their team in late summer/early fall, have the parents drop $3K in fees and then in the Spring/Summer bring in some kid from Florida or Alabama (who may not pay a cent) who proceeds to take innings from kids that have been committed to the program for months. If a coach tells you up front that he operates that way, then at least you know and can make an informed decision.
We have never been in that situation, but our best friends (who's son is a couple of years older than mine)has been on a couple of those types of teams. |
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 15:34:58
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I don't know if there is a correct approach, but I can tell you whenever we're talking about a player whose folks jerked me around, I don't mince any words.
It was a handful at most, and I'm sure it didn't have any impact on their future prospects, but at least the prospective coaches and teammates' parents knew what they had done to our team. |
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TheNatural
37 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 16:31:56
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| Will most coaches at 14 and 15 call even if they don't get picked? still waiting. |
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b@s3b@11
23 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 16:49:08
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Thanks, y'all. Everything has worked out well. We're happy where we've ended up and haven't yet made any enemies or burned any bridges.
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Canton Chargers
885 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2012 : 20:54:01
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Normally, from what I have seen, coaches will approach you at the tryout if your kid is really wanted by them or call you very soon thereafter. As a coach, sometimes you see a kid you want to see more of and call with that comment or you see kids that you know won't make the cut and can either contact them or just simply not call them back. There are some times when you have a tryout and have 25-50 kids show up and coaches can't possibly have a conversation or email every parent just to say your kid didn't make it in as nice of words as possible to make them feel ok, because in my history of coaching, there has not been many times when I tell a parent that thier kid didn't make or is not invited back without sensing the parent thinking you are telling them that their kid is not good enough, but essentially, that is pretty much what you are saying, so calling them or emailing them with "he didn't make it news" is very stressful for the coach, the parnet and especially the kid. It stinks to have to do it, but sometimes the coach is not taking your kid for a variety of reasons, but usually the reasons never pan out with the parent and thus making the call is counter productive for everyone...
If your kid is going to be offered a spot, you will know real soon. That I know for sure!!! The ECB and 643 teams may say that they want everyone to try out and won't give anyone a decision until after(just what I have heard), but rest assured that if they like your son at a workout, they will let the parents know that they want him and to show up at the tryouts. Again though, don't panic, have fun with tryouts and try not to stress your kid out about it. He will play baseball somewhere and will probably have fun doing it... |
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