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DecaturDad
619 Posts |
 Posted - 02/15/2012 : 09:54:33
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I have been reading a lot on this site and some others about all of us crazy parents who spend so much time on baseball. ( I say us, because I do include myself in that group.).
What I don't generally agree with is why others seem to think I am doing this. And I wondered why others were also.
My son plays 12U. He loves the games, loves to improve, and loves being ith his team mates. Will he make his HS team? I thi k so, but who knows. will he play past HS? He may, but again, at 12, I don't really know.
So why do I give up so many nights and weekends for this? Because it makes him happy, and because it keeps him busy. At the moment, my son is recovering from a fractured growth plate in his hip. Two weeks on crutches and an additional four to six weeks rest before he can play. He is taking it well. But I could see where if he did not have sports as something to focus on, he could get bored and start hanging around with that kid no one wants their kid to hang with. Or he may just sit in front of the TV and get fat. I have a sister with four older kids. They all turned out all right, but her one regret: not keeping them involved in sports.
So that is way I do this. Hopefully my son will think back to these years and remember them as a happy time when he was with both his friends and his family.
I would love for him to go pro. At the moment, he thinks he can. I am not going to burst hat bubble. But I am also making sure he makes the homer role, and that we have the savings to send him to collage if a scholarship does not appear.
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NF1974
62 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 11:34:33
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DecaturDad,
8 to 10 years ago a couple in our neighborhood had a son in Travel ball. At the time, my son was 7( theirs was 11). he was playing rec ball and loved the game. we saw this couple devoting most of their weekends(spring & summer) to baseball and we both thought they were crazy. Their son went on to play for his highschool and eventually got a college scholarship to play baseball. Now that my son is 15 and has been playing travel for 4 years, I can say that I don't think they were crazy however I do think they were out of balance and i will tell you why. In addition to their son, who was the oldest, they had 3 additional kids. I think they dragged the other kids to the ballpark and I don't think this was the most beneficial thing for the whole family.
I can tell you that my son loves the game and still has a passion to get better. I think part of this is internal and I also think that part of it is because I have not pushed him. He sees hisself getting better and this provides the positive reinforcement to continue. he asks me to " go to the field" etc. I have presented him with opportunities like summer camps, or private lessons but he has always been the one to decide that he wants to do this. Why do I think this is important? I see boys that are better than my son, losing their desire to play.
I think that part of the reason they lose their desire is that they are playing for dad or someone else and not themselves. Dad wants it too much...
Now, I can honestly say that I love watching my son play, as well as watching my daughter perform. I get a certain amount of my needs met through travel ball. I happen to be a single dad so I have more time on my hands than the married folks but I know it will come to an end so for now I am going to enjoy the ride.
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ChinMusic
126 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 11:46:55
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For me, for fun and special bonding time with my son. Everyone's baseball days come to an end eventually, and for most, that happens at the end of high school. I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Good luck to all.
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 12:45:27
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My son is almost 9. He is a naturally gifted athelete. He loves baseball. Who knows where this will take him. We have had one coach tell us (not our son) confidentially that he thinks our son has what it takes to play professional ball some day. How someone can know this at this age is beyond me. Although it was nice to hear such praise for my kid, we took it with a big grain of salt.
Fond memories of youth baseball will be more than enough reward if that's as far as it goes. If he plays HS or college ball, we'll be proud. If he goes further than that, we'll be even prouder. The odds of him making a living (however meager) as a baseball player are really, really small. The odds of him playing in the major leagues are even smaller, perhaps infinitesimal. Also, my sense is that the life of the vast majority of professional ball players is pretty tough and unglamorous. They do it for the love of the game, not the money or the fame.
We're just going to keep following our son's lead. As long as he wants to play and at whatever level he wants to play, we'll support him. Like you, DecaturDad, we're saving for college and emphasizing academics. Whatever happens with baseball is gravy. |
Edited by - Newbie BB Mom on 02/15/2012 13:46:08 |
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mdschert
47 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 12:51:26
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| My son is also 12U. I have seen him progress as a person through baseball. He trains very hard, more than any kid I know. He knows he is getting better as a player because of all of the hard work. That is a priceless lesson that we all want to give our sons. Would he be as motivated playing rec ball, probably not. The competition drives him to get better. |
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 13:19:51
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Ever since he was 9 all he wanted to do is play for his HS team, so when he turned 11 he started playing travel ball. He would play year round, so even if we hadn't thought the higher level of competition was necessary to play HS, he still would have gravitated toward travel.
I think 11 was too early. He disagrees. :)
I quit coaching after his 13YO team. I should have quit after his last game at Cooperstown. Actually, if I had it to do over, knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't have coached at all. What a thankless job.
Not real sure how he feels about it. He had a couple of bad coaches one year and said a couple of times that he wished he had the coaching staff that we had at 12. He's also had several good coaches and is thriving. I am thoroughly enjoying sitting in the stands and keeping the occasional book. And keeping my mouth shut except to cheer or help the umpires. :)
He attained his goal, is loving life and is showing no sign of burnout. Long may it last. |
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JMO
174 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 13:46:41
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I look at travel baseball and the commitment it takes different than most other parents. My son is also 12u currently. He practices pretty much every day. When he was 8, I would have to drag him to the field. He never wanted to go, because he was not that good. Through hard work and dedication, he greatly improved. He now hits every day, usually with me pitching to him. There is no secret to hitting, take your kid out and pitch to him. I always hear the line "You are living vicariously through your kid". In my view, the parents who say that line are to lazy to take their kid to the field. I have 4 kids in sports. if you have the desire to make it happen for your kid, anything is possible. My kid is no athletic phenom, but his work ethic has elevated him above others with more talent. His personal goal currently is to clear a 300ft fence. He is one hopping 300ft fences right now. He hits about 100 balls a day, 6 days a week, all year long. Cold or rainy he goes indoor cage or pop-up screen in our garage.
The difference is now he loves it as opposed to when he was 8. Probably because he is much better. I also hear the line"I am going to let my kid choose what he wants to do sportswise". That is comical to me. Kids at this age are to young to make decisions.
DecaturDad, I would also love for my kid to go pro. I could see nothing better than being a parent of a major league player and watching your son play baseball. Hopefully it happens, but if not he is a straight A student. No A and B, no baseball.
I made a commitment to my son when he was 8. He had 3rd degree burn surgery. I took my commitment to him as a father to another level. I do not make excuses, I have never missed a game in 4 years.
Lastly, if he does not make anything out of baseball(ie: hs ball, college ball, pro ball...etc) we will always have the memories of going to the ballpark everyday and hanging out father and son. I bring all the kids to the ballpark and make memories with all of them. Make NO EXUSESES! |
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wareagle
324 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 13:49:02
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When we first started travel it was because my son was just way ahead of other kids in rec ball( not because he was a natural born athlete, but because he would go out and throw or play everyday). We were simply allowing him to play and be around other kids with similar interest.
My biggest goal for continuing is the fact that neither of my boys enjoy playing inside, they do not watch alot of TV or play alot of video games. I am extremely happy that they both enjoy sports, but I am even more happy that they have something constructive to do with their time. My goal for both of my boys is to find something the truly enjoy, that will occupy their free time in a constructive manner, at least through high school. I Know first hand what too much free time for teenagers can lead to.
I will be completely happy to know that my kids are at practice of some kind after school. It could be band, chorus or whatever they choose, but I am glad that it seems to be sports for now. It also never hurts that athletics have Grade requirements and most of the coaches seem to keep an eye on their players.
If my boys can keep their focus on doing positive things with their time, the I have succeeded. |
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Hurricane
351 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 14:07:39
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quote:
Originally posted by Newbie BB Mom
My son is almost 9. He is a naturally gifted athelete. He loves baseball. Who knows where this will take him. We have had one coach tell us (not our son) confidentially that he thinks our son has what it takes to play professional ball some day. How someone can know this at this age is beyond me. Although it was nice to hear such praise for my kid, we took it with a big grain of salt.
You are right to take it with a grain of salt and no offense but if someone tells you or your son before they reach their 15th birthday they have what it takes to be professional they are either lying or getting paid to teach them lessons. Now having the fundamentals and technique of a professional baseball player I believe, but too many other factors to make any predictions before puberty. Speed Strength, size, power, eyesight, mental toughness etc. |
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excoach12
159 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 15:30:42
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When I started reading the responses I had a thought or two but that quickly grew into a thousand thoughts. I love to hear that most of us are emphasizing the time spent with their child. Can you imagine what life is like for those who allow this time to slip through their fingers and the regret they must feel in their later years?
I have two kids from a first marriage that I most certainly did not spend enough time with. They have both grown into wonderful adults and they love me deeply but I know in my heart I was not the best dad I could be.
I was given another chance when I re-married and had two more children. My family took center stage for once and I was lucky enough that both wanted to play sports. I was never an athlete and only played Little League for 3 years. I became a musician and band "geek" and since the age of 14 became a loner for most of my life.
My kids playing sports opened up a world of friends, travelling and new experiences for me. But for my son, baseball became a way to express himself and to become connected with other kids. And for the most part all the kids and families we have encountered have been wonderful people. There ARE exceptions, but mostly great kids.
My son is much more extroverted than I was, much more physically fit and much happier. He loves the game and loves spending his time with me. He loves seeing mom in the stands cheering and helping with the team. He loves seeing dad make coaching mistakes and fall down trying to run the bases and generally being an idiot but trying his best. The more he works at getting better the more his self-esteem improves. I see a much more mature, confident child that I ever expected to have. The friends he has, most from baseball, but not all, are confident kids who behave well and show respect. I just couldn't imagine NOT having baseball in my families life.
My daughter played soccer, softball and lacrosse and I see everything in her at 14 that I see in my son at 11. I used to secretly make fun of "athletes" as just being dumb jocks. Boy, was I wrong! Youth athletics have shaped my entire family not just my kids.
So DD why do we do it?
I think it's because someone once said "A man on his deathbed never says I wish I spent more time at the office." It's about the memories, and avoiding regrets.
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 16:16:56
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quote:
Originally posted by Hurricane
quote:
Originally posted by Newbie BB Mom
My son is almost 9. He is a naturally gifted athelete. He loves baseball. Who knows where this will take him. We have had one coach tell us (not our son) confidentially that he thinks our son has what it takes to play professional ball some day. How someone can know this at this age is beyond me. Although it was nice to hear such praise for my kid, we took it with a big grain of salt.
You are right to take it with a grain of salt and no offense but if someone tells you or your son before they reach their 15th birthday they have what it takes to be professional they are either lying or getting paid to teach them lessons. Now having the fundamentals and technique of a professional baseball player I believe, but too many other factors to make any predictions before puberty. Speed Strength, size, power, eyesight, mental toughness etc.
Don't worry, no offense taken, and we didn't take the coach's comment seriously. (I mean, really, how could we?!) But, the coach was not paid, and I think he meant it earnestly. I suspect he just saw a lot of athletic ability and got carried away. It may have also helped that my husband is 6'4 and 220 pounds, so he was imagining that my son will look like that one day. |
Edited by - Newbie BB Mom on 02/15/2012 20:22:18 |
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Mad1
252 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 16:55:00
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| For those of you that enjoy the time with your kids I totally understand. I coached my son all the way to highschool and enjoyed watching him play there. But, I have to tell you, I think I enjoy the experience even more as a grandparent watching the grandkids. I remember struggling as a coach trying to make practices and work to make ends meet to give my son what he needed to excell. Now After an early retirement at 50 I have all the time I need to travel as they do, be off for all games, and give to the team some things they may need. My wife is a photographer for the team and we run the team website for them, posting those memories each game for them. We have 5 Playing ball and love our time at the ballpark. It's great quality time, with our kids and grandkids. Look forward to the day , if your not already there. |
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DecaturDad
619 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2012 : 17:23:59
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Thanks everyone for replying. I knew that many on here had similar reasons. I guess I just needed to hear them. There is so much talk about kids who pitch too much, and what team beat who that I just wanted to take a minute and think about why we really are putting all this time into our kids.
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rippit
667 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2012 : 09:38:51
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It hasn't always been easy, but now it's paying off. I think we both had something to prove and I'm starting a new thread on that. I've invested tons of research, time and money in my son because I could see how much he hated to do badly and how much he hated to lose. We've been working diligently to make him a better player and to also find the right team and fit.
It started paying off last spring. It's been a total joy to see his self confidence soar. The rides to the park with the top down and sun in our face with music blaring will always be treasured memories as well as the rides home on warm spring evenings celebrating the latest victory or exceptionally good game.
Now that he's into his teenage years, I know he sees the benefit of all of HIS hard work. He is currently surrounded by some of the best people I have ever met and has one coach in particular who seems to be looking out for him more than most. This guy is going to be the coach that my son never forgets and will see as the guy who possibly changed his life forever. I think that's very cool.
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SOGAS
143 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2012 : 13:42:52
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Many many ways to look at this. Like DecaturDad I feel that if they enjoy it then feed it to them. Some say that "all that travel ball is going to burn your kid out" and that may be true but I feel like this.
If my son is focused and involved in sports while striving to get better then that takes away from idle time and we all know what idle time can do to a young pre-teen or teenager.
If my son is focused and striving to get better then most likely he will get better giving him a better chance at making his high school team. And to contradict the "BURN OUT" claim, I'm not sold it's any worse for a kid to play so much that he gets burned out and doesn't want to play in High school than it is for him to never devolop the skill set thus not being good enough to make the team that High School team he so desperately desires to play on.
I feel in a lot of cases those people who like to take popshots at those families who commit to a travel schedule and preparation is only doing so because they either do not want to get up off the couch themselves and work with their kids or they're to selfish with their own activities or desires to make that level of comittment. Unfortunately there are others who just do not have the finances but the bottom line is, in most cases it's nothing more than pure jealousy. Ask yourself, how many of those folk really give a rat whether your kid burns out or not. |
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2012 : 22:47:24
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Amen brother!!
quote:
Originally posted by SOGAS
Many many ways to look at this. Like DecaturDad I feel that if they enjoy it then feed it to them. Some say that "all that travel ball is going to burn your kid out" and that may be true but I feel like this.
If my son is focused and involved in sports while striving to get better then that takes away from idle time and we all know what idle time can do to a young pre-teen or teenager.
If my son is focused and striving to get better then most likely he will get better giving him a better chance at making his high school team. And to contradict the "BURN OUT" claim, I'm not sold it's any worse for a kid to play so much that he gets burned out and doesn't want to play in High school than it is for him to never devolop the skill set thus not being good enough to make the team that High School team he so desperately desires to play on.
I feel in a lot of cases those people who like to take popshots at those families who commit to a travel schedule and preparation is only doing so because they either do not want to get up off the couch themselves and work with their kids or they're to selfish with their own activities or desires to make that level of comittment. Unfortunately there are others who just do not have the finances but the bottom line is, in most cases it's nothing more than pure jealousy. Ask yourself, how many of those folk really give a rat whether your kid burns out or not.
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bkball
173 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 09:36:52
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| Not picking on anyone here, I was coming back from the park last night and started thinking about posts where parents say their kids "love" the game of baseball. I think they enjoy playing but are they even old enough to love anything other than their parents? What if they told you they loved some girl at school. Maybe we just tend to say love when we really mean they enjoy the game at this age. I imagine as they get older they will find out if they really love the game. Like I said just something I was thinking about. |
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hshuler
1074 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 10:24:01
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As long as my son enjoys playing, he can play. If he decides to hang it up, it would not bother me a bit. I will not ask him to do something that he doesn't enjoy...unless he has made a commitment and others are depending on him to honor that commitment. So, we are on a year to year basis. It's his decision without any pressure from me.
I think that we can all tell whether our kids are enjoying themselves or not. Usually (not always) the tell tale sign is how excited are they about going to practice...and I'm not talking about "one of those days" when they are in a funk and don't want to practice.
HS |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 10:43:00
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quote:
Originally posted by hshuler
As long as my son enjoys playing, he can play. If he decides to hang it up, it would not bother me a bit. I will not ask him to do something that he doesn't enjoy...unless he has made a commitment and others are depending on him to honor that commitment. So, we are on a year to year basis. It's his decision without any pressure from me.
I think that we can all tell whether our kids are enjoying themselves or not. Usually (not always) the tell tale sign is how excited are they about going to practice...and I'm not talking about "one of those days" when they are in a funk and don't want to practice.
HS
Same way with my kids. BTW, if my oldest doesn't "love" the game of baseball, I don't know what to call it. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 11:56:47
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A confessional on the "burn out" theory, or for those that think maybe they did or do push too hard.
My son, 11, has played baseball since he was 6, but moved over and played travel ball exclusively since he was 8. Our reasoning was simple - the rec organizations we had did not provide him with the level of coaching or competition he needed or wanted, and he did not want to play anything other than baseball - baseball in the spring, baseball in the fall, basketball in the winter. He "loved" the game. While it was taxing on us (I have 2 other kids, one who also played travel softball), we enjoyed it, as it becomes part of your social life.
After several successful seasons, countless trips local and nationally, a job change this fall forced a change, requiring a move which would complicate things. As a family, we made the decision to take the spring off, since it was tough enough with me traveling back and forth each weekend on top of trying to be at a ballpark all weekend. He wasn't happy, but understood, besides, my wife and I "thought" we were burning him out. It's been 5 months since we last stepped foot on a baseball field.
This detox has been interesting - it's been refreshing to me and the family and I think in some way good for my son; it allowed him to try another sport that he really had no interest in trying before (lacrosse). But more importantly, it also let me see if this was truly what he wanted to do or if we were pushing him, because I took a completely hands off approach - I mean, he got to play with friends on weekends, do sleep overs, sleep in if he wanted on a weekend, play video games, you name it. Do all the things outsiders say a "normal kid" should do
Guess what? - he really misses baseball... Maybe not initially since he was playing basketball, and then lacrosse. But the last 6 weeks he's asked me every weekend if I found him a team in Georgia yet. Every nice Sunday, he asks me if I would throw with him.. Last weekend I drove back home and when I got home, he was in the back yard hitting balls off the tee into the net - I asked him what he was doing and he told me "gotta work on my swing for tryouts"... I went in and told my wife what he said, and she told me he's been doing this for the last month, a day here a day there. So much for burnout..
So for those on the outside looking in, burnout is in the eye of the beholder. |
Edited by - ramman999 on 04/20/2012 12:14:36 |
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hshuler
1074 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 12:07:19
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TAZ,
I agree. You definitely know when your kid(s) love or are truly passionate about something. If they never want to do the "extra" then they probably don't...but if the always want to have a catch or go hit on the off days...it's probably love. If you have to leave your house and walk around Walmart to get a break from backyard baseball...it's probably love...lol! |
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hshuler
1074 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 13:01:49
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quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
A confessional on the "burn out" theory, or for those that think maybe they did or do push too hard.
My son, 11, has played baseball since he was 6, but moved over and played travel ball exclusively since he was 8. Our reasoning was simple - the rec organizations we had did not provide him with the level of coaching or competition he needed or wanted, and he did not want to play anything other than baseball - baseball in the spring, baseball in the fall, basketball in the winter. He "loved" the game. While it was taxing on us (I have 2 other kids, one who also played travel softball), we enjoyed it, as it becomes part of your social life.
After several successful seasons, countless trips local and nationally, a job change this fall forced a change, requiring a move which would complicate things. As a family, we made the decision to take the spring off, since it was tough enough with me traveling back and forth each weekend on top of trying to be at a ballpark all weekend. He wasn't happy, but understood, besides, my wife and I "thought" we were burning him out. It's been 5 months since we last stepped foot on a baseball field.
This detox has been interesting - it's been refreshing to me and the family and I think in some way good for my son; it allowed him to try another sport that he really had no interest in trying before (lacrosse). But more importantly, it also let me see if this was truly what he wanted to do or if we were pushing him, because I took a completely hands off approach - I mean, he got to play with friends on weekends, do sleep overs, sleep in if he wanted on a weekend, play video games, you name it. Do all the things outsiders say a "normal kid" should do
Guess what? - he really misses baseball... Maybe not initially since he was playing basketball, and then lacrosse. But the last 6 weeks he's asked me every weekend if I found him a team in Georgia yet. Every nice Sunday, he asks me if I would throw with him.. Last weekend I drove back home and when I got home, he was in the back yard hitting balls off the tee into the net - I asked him what he was doing and he told me "gotta work on my swing for tryouts"... I went in and told my wife what he said, and she told me he's been doing this for the last month, a day here a day there. So much for burnout..
So for those on the outside looking in, burnout is in the eye of the beholder.
Awesome! I think that burnout occurs when the kids aren't having fun anymore. Yes, we all want to win but the game has to be fun if we want our kids to continue to want to play. |
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2012 : 14:26:40
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quote:
Originally posted by ramman999
But the last 6 weeks he's asked me every weekend if I found him a team in Georgia yet. Every nice Sunday, he asks me if I would throw with him.. Last weekend I drove back home and when I got home, he was in the back yard hitting balls off the tee into the net - I asked him what he was doing and he told me "gotta work on my swing for tryouts"... I went in and told my wife what he said, and she told me he's been doing this for the last month, a day here a day there. So much for burnout..
I have thought of your family from time to time, Ramman999, and wondered whether you had made the move to Georgia and whether your son had found a new team. It sounds like you haven't moved the family yet (waiting for school to end, maybe?). I hope you've found an area you like. Good luck with the transition and with your son's tryouts this summer! |
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biged
198 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2012 : 20:14:05
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Baseball is a hobby. There is little difference if a dad and his kid hunt and fish all day or play ball. It is still a hobby. Historians call Baseball,"America's Favorite PASS Time". That was the original intention of the GAME. Why do we have to explain/defend what we do with our free time? Why do we feel that if our kids are not doing something that directly benefits their future it is a waste of time?
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2012 : 09:10:34
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quote:
Originally posted by Newbie BB Mom
I have thought of your family from time to time, Ramman999, and wondered whether you had made the move to Georgia and whether your son had found a new team. It sounds like you haven't moved the family yet (waiting for school to end, maybe?). I hope you've found an area you like. Good luck with the transition and with your son's tryouts this summer!
No, I am here! Family will be here once school ends after Memorial Day, and we are settling close to Acworth - figure I 'll look a little harder once they get here. |
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gasbag
281 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2012 : 09:51:37
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| We put as much money, time and effort into all of our sons ( 2 ) interests. We let them determine their commitment and then my wife and I make whatever sacrifices we have to to make sure they get to pursue their dreams. So far, we schlepp to: travel baseball, high school baseball, swimming, wrestling, football, track, concerts ( oldest one became drummer in a band and is pursuing music as a career ) etc. Is it worth it ?????? My parents allowed me the opportunity to pursue my dreams and now it's my turn to pay it forward and allow my kids to pursue theirs. Will they be pro, college or high school or travel or whatever level ? I don't know and quite frankly, I don't care ! They are, and have had, a blast pursuing their dreams and are learning life lessons, making friends, making mistakes....but doing it all while pursuing their dreams ! My dream you may ask......my dream was to grow up and have a family.....I'M LIVING MY DREAM EVERYDAY....and thank God for making it possible. |
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Why are we doing this?
