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spectatordad
5 Posts |
 Posted - 09/22/2011 : 12:56:33
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| There is a kid playing on our fall team who wasn't chosen to play with the spring team. No one really knows why but several parents are wondering about it as this kid is performing pretty much as good or better than those playing now, is solid defensively and plays several different positions and seems to have good parents and a good work ethic. In spite of everything uncertain about his future, he hasn't ever missed a practice or a game. A couple of us would like to voice our opinions in support of this kid because we think he'd still like to play for this team as he hasn't found another team and we think he'd help the team more than a couple of kids who are either on it now or will be on it, but don't want to rock the boat where our own kids are concerned. How would you handle this? It's really puzzling. Thanks in advance. |
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AllStar
762 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2011 : 14:14:37
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You should:
a) Get your son to practices and games on time, equipped and prepared to play/practice.
b) Sit in the stands and enjoy yourself.
You picked the coaches your son is playing for. Trust them to coach the team.
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Hurricane
351 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2011 : 14:44:19
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| It depends, what age is it? How many players are on the roster now? |
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Dr. Old School
314 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2011 : 15:21:42
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There are subtle ways to do this. Especially if it is not your kid you are referring to. I would start by just making a passing statement to the coach "Hey, <XXXXX> is suring playing good ball this fall. He sure is contributing, isn't he?" See what the coach says. Don't say anymore unless he engages in the conversation. He may suprise you and say "Yea, he has been. He did not impress us during tryouts (or in previous years if he played with the coach before) but he has really stepped it up. We may need to keep him for the spring."
It probably would not be bad for the kids to mention to the coach "Boy, too bad <XXXX> is not playing with us in the spring. He looks like he could really help us."
Who knows. It is good that there are parents feeling that way about other players. We just see so many that are only looking at their own kids. |
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jongamefan
218 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2011 : 16:07:41
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We worked something like this with our youngest in couple of different fall seasons.
No one had trouble that I know about from it and really it shouldnt bother you if they said its jest for fall cuz thats up to the family and the coach ;)
There are usually good reasons for any arrangment which are private like ours was
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2011 : 17:11:46
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| I would absolutely mention it to the coach.....There is probably a reason the kid isn't playing or wasn't asked to play in the spring....I seriously doubt you and some other dads are the only ones seeing the potential, but if you feel strongly enough about it what could it hurt to ask the coach if he has considered giving the kid a roster spot? |
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spectatordad
5 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 08:08:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Hurricane
It depends, what age is it? How many players are on the roster now?
Theyre 13 and only have 11. That's what is making it so puzzling.
Thanks to everybody for the advice. I guess we will see how things go the rest of this month. |
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Hyde
8 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 09:10:01
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I totally agree with AllStar. I have not had good results with getting involved in Coaching decisions in my experiences through the years.
When things don't look quite right, there's typically an explanation. There could be reasons why the explanation is not being shared.
Just relax with the process, and let it all play out. The Coaches want the same things as you and your son. They see what you are seeing. Trust them.
The more you stay out of issues like this, the better you will feel about yourself when you look back on it years from now. Trust me, I know how hard it is to do.
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Goin Deep
140 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 09:15:22
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Just throwing this out there....It could be a financial issue. Fall ball and spring/summer are different financial animals as you know. If that is a possibility, that is a situation to stay away from because of the personal nature of it. On the flip side, fundraising could lighten the load for all if the team really wants the kid to play. Good Luck
quote:
Originally posted by spectatordad
There is a kid playing on our fall team who wasn't chosen to play with the spring team. No one really knows why but several parents are wondering about it as this kid is performing pretty much as good or better than those playing now, is solid defensively and plays several different positions and seems to have good parents and a good work ethic. In spite of everything uncertain about his future, he hasn't ever missed a practice or a game. A couple of us would like to voice our opinions in support of this kid because we think he'd still like to play for this team as he hasn't found another team and we think he'd help the team more than a couple of kids who are either on it now or will be on it, but don't want to rock the boat where our own kids are concerned. How would you handle this? It's really puzzling. Thanks in advance.
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coach0512
123 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 10:07:04
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| If the kid needs a spring team and he's 11 let me know. :) |
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Scott0923
49 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 10:07:05
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| INQUIRE PLEASE...that's whats wrong w/ America these days noone wants to offend or hurt someone's feelings...SO WE SIT IDLEY BY AND SAY NOTHING!!! That kid probably needs the team and his current teammates more than the coaches think...if the kid behaves, contributes,and goes to practices & works hard you guys need to see what's going on. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 11:01:37
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| I find the title you chose for your topic pretty interesting. There is no sticky situation brewing unless you and the other parents choose to brew it. You guys need to stay out of the dugout and coaching decisions and let the coaches do their jobs. If there is an opening and your coaches are looking to fill it, then let them do their jobs. They may be looking for a player who can give them innings on the mound or behind the plate, and this kid may not fit that bill. It might be that adding him would take a slot or playing time from another player who has already committed to the team (perhaps your kid?). Maybe the coaches recognize they should have selected this player over another, but aren't going back on their commitment to a family. OR, maybe the coaches see exactly what you see and may offer the kid a spot if he's a fit. There's a whole lot in play that you may not be aware of, but the single biggest impact you can have is to NOT make it a sticky situation. If you want to make player selection and coaching decisions, then post your team openings here, have some tryouts, and begin enjoying the blissful input from your team parents. Otherwise, follow the advise that AllStar provides above. In the long run, you'll be glad you did. |
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11UFAN
149 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 11:25:59
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| Keep your mouth shut. Its none of anyone's business but the coaches and parents. There are plenty of good ball players out there. As long as you like your coach and think the team he's on is good for your kids goals then be happy with that... |
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baserunner
115 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 14:29:07
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I'm not sure how this is going to work out for your team. My feeling is that these situations tend to work themselves out in the end. I suspect he's probably holding a couple of roster spots out for the right "impact players", so I wouldn't second guess his judgement. If you do decide to say something then I would at least wait until the end of the fall season so the coach has enough time to fully assess the player and the needs of the team.
Your heart is in the right place though. It's good to see someone looking out for a kid other than his own. |
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Hurricane
351 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2011 : 16:44:25
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Coach has probably considered him playing for the team in the spring, that has to be pretty obvious but like someone else said he might be looking for the right player that fits his roster better. There will always be teams and players looking for spots when the spring season starts. People quit, teams fold, families move into town.
I do think at 13 you should carry at least 13 although you could get by with 12.
Keep us updated but I wouldn't say a word about it unless the coach asks. |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2011 : 08:36:41
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First of all, you didn't mention how many players from the fall were invited to the spring team. Or if the announced players for the spring team bring more to the table than this player. Second guessing a coaching/manager decision is a very slippery slope. There is a method to the madness, and you never know what's going on.
You said "seems" to have good parents.. I've had plenty of perceived "good parents" be the ones emailing and calling me all week complaining about positioning, playing time, batting order spots, other players on the team, other families, etc. Not saying that is the case, but just remember there is plenty of things that go on behind the scene.
My personal opinion on this is simple - you don't have the right to question it. He doesn't owe you an explanation. Don't get caught up in the drama club. Don't put a target on your back as a pot stirrer. If someone in the group wants to walk down that road, let them, but you stay out of it..
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wareagle
324 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2011 : 20:39:01
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| Maybe I am wrong, but if I am actually paying money to be part of a team, I think I at least have the right to have a question answered. It must be asked in the correct way, and in 99% of cases you simply must accept the answer. Asking the question does not always mean that you are second guessing the coach. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2011 : 21:50:26
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You're correct, you are wrong.
quote:
Originally posted by wareagle
Maybe I am wrong, but if I am actually paying money to be part of a team, I think I at least have the right to have a question answered. It must be asked in the correct way, and in 99% of cases you simply must accept the answer. Asking the question does not always mean that you are second guessing the coach.
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Edited by - in_the_know on 09/26/2011 22:34:52 |
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wareagle
324 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 08:01:53
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Maybe so, but I ask my sons coach questions often. Sometimes he asks me questions. It has not been a problem, and it helps me to at least understand his reasoning. There are lots of teams and coach's out there with different philosophies. Even though I may disagree with him at times, I do respect his commitment to the team and his decisions. Sometimes you must ask questions to make sure everyone's goals are in line.
In this particular situation, it appears that everyone is talking about it anyway, so why not let the coach in on the conversation instead of talking about it behind his back? It is easy to say "drop it" but in reality that seldom happens without an explanation.
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momshell
103 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 09:23:41
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| Good Answer wareagle. |
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in_the_know
985 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 09:41:17
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| So I'll elaborate a bit more on my reply. If there is an issue pertaining to your player that causes you concern as a parent (not playing time or position, etc, but a legitimate issue), then I completely agree with eagle. This is not one of those cases. This is about another player. This is about team makeup. This is about team strategy. This may be about some reason behind the scenes (family finance, unknown issues) that doesn't affect your family or child individually. You shouldn't interject yourself. So I don't think you have the "right" that you may believe you have paid for in THIS case. Let this kid's parents ask the coach about THEIR child's status for spring. If they want to be there and feel that the question should be asked, it is THEIR place to voice their request. Not spectatordad's or any other parents. |
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gasbag
281 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 10:01:39
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| I think you'll get a much more peaceful and harmonious outcome if you just sit back, show faith in your Coach and the Team and just let nature take it's course. Show nothing but support for your ball player and his Team. He'll appreciate it down theline. |
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11UFAN
149 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 10:03:11
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The time to ask questions to the coach is during the recruitment period before you sign up, not after. You have every right to question the coach if he doesn't deliver on the major issues you discussed BEFORE you signed up.
After you make your selection communication on issues that are about other kids is only a one way street (unless he doesn't deliver on his pre-signing commitments or its something really bad) until he asks you your opinion first. IMO no one should get involved in another families business. I am assuming you trust and like your sons coach or you wouldnt be on his team? If so, stay out of it unless you or asked. If you don't trust him then find another team. |
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wareagle
324 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 11:15:46
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| Good points made and well taken, but regardless of what you or I think "should" happen, the talking will most likely continue until an explanation is given. |
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 12:31:45
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Communication is key! The way some people act like were married to these teams with blind trust doesn't always work. We all know the back bone of a good marriage is communication and lots of it. If you want me to be married to your team I expect LOTS of communication, good or bad. Don't be afraid to step up and say something because rest assure the coach will do the same if he doesn't like something about you or your son. It works BOTH WAYS!
Granted, when they get older that won't be the case. Then, you will do what they say, when they say it--end of story. |
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Newbie BB Mom
141 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2011 : 12:47:47
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I agree with wareagle that a discrete heads up to the coach is not out of line here if the families are already gossiping about it. A good coach would want to know if the rank and file was getting restless so he could address it and reassure everyone. That's just good leadership.
Also, its possible this coach's reasons for letting this kid go aren't so understandable. That may be a factor for spectatordad when he has to make a decision about whether to continue to let his son play for that coach in the future. I'm not sure I blame Spectatordad (and the other parents of players on this team) for wanting to find out whether this coach has good judgment or not. |
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Sticky situation brewing-need advice
