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barehandit
19 Posts |
 Posted - 04/11/2011 : 21:23:38
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I am sure someone must have some experience in this department. I'm sad to say I have to even ask for opinions. We had several parents pull their kid from the team this weekend, enough kids that fielding a team is a serious concern, never mind a team that can even win in AA never mind a higher level. It was not due to baseball related anything. I hate to mention any details for fear 2 and 2 might get put together. It was absolutely adult drama and not about anything to do with the kids or baseball.
The other remaining kids are certainly going to be impacted by loss of volume of players, losing quality players and chemistry issues.
When do you consider pulling the plug? Should you just tough it out? My son is certainly going to get a lot more playing time, more reps. He also just went from the #2 or #3 player to the undisputed #1 player.
I've never been fond of kids/parents quitting b/c of W-L records, playing time, coaching styles.
Baseball is a small world. I've heard other kids/families get labeled with "team jumper", "difficult family". I don't want to, I'd rather just take the rest of the season off and go play basketball.
Getting on another team at this stage means potentially less playing time or creating drama on another team b/c you risk bumping another kid and his playing time and those kids may have been there since fall. Man, what a mess.
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momshell
103 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2011 : 22:43:56
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| What age group is this and how many are left on the team? |
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coach0512
123 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2011 : 22:51:01
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Welcome to the bad side of travel ball. Entry from all-stars to travel is always difficult because parents begin to learn that their son is not the top player of the team anymore and they will find any excuse to blame something or someone other than the fact that for 2 or 3 years they might have been mistaken about their childs abilities compared to others.
It takes a couple seasons of moving around for parents to find the right fit for their kid, in some cases. You are right-What a mess!
I think you have a chance to teach your son a valuable lesson and salvage something from this season. Teach him that when he makes a commitment to something he sees it through to the end. That he's not gonna allow any obstacle to stop him from doing his best, even under the worst conditions.
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Coach D
167 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2011 : 23:20:14
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| Well said Coach!!! I coudn't agree more! |
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barehandit
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2011 : 23:51:15
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| We have been playing travelball most of the nine years, a few years of allstars, AA/AAA & now Major, but no way we could hang with AAA. We only moved this year b/c former team disbanded b/c the coaches kid aged up to HS ball. My son had been playing up. He is an oilder 7th grader. I just never could imagine adults not thinking @ the consequences of their actions, mouths & behavior. |
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CoachDad
52 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 02:14:24
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quote:
Originally posted by coach0512
Teach him that when he makes a commitment to something he sees it through to the end. That he's not gonna allow any obstacle to stop him from doing his best, even under the worst conditions.
Hear Hear |
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Hiredgun
44 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 06:45:42
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Barehandit,
I feel your pain. It is an unfair position for any coach to be put in. My assistant and I have been coaching a travel team since my son was 8 and believe me, I could write a book on the drama that we have been dealt.
The issue at hand is a tough on. You didn't say how many kids you had remaining but if you have enough then press on. Not knowing your class (Major, AAA, AA)this might allow you to drop down into a class where your current group my have a chance to be more competitive.
There are parents that complain about playing time, position, where their son bats, etc. The one thing that they don't ever comprehend is this.....look at the time that you and your other coaches devote to helping their kid improve his game of baseball, you provide nice uniforms, give their kid an opportunity to be on a good team, receive instruction on hitting, fielding, play in the best tournaments / venues,etc. And all they want to do is complain. You need to ask them one question and they won't be able to answer it and it is this.......Mr./Mrs. Jones, what have you done to help improve my son's game of baseball.
I hope that my comments have helped. Good luck and don't ever give up. Keep plugging away.
Hiredgun |
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leftyrightyecb
21 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 09:06:43
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| Not knowing the reason for the team chemistry not working makes it tough to give an opinion. I do know quitting is not the option once you commit to a team. What example does that show your kids? Are you going to allow them to quit in high school and not graduate? No. So why give them an easy road in baseball. They will thank you later in life when faced with harder choices that involve their own family. Again, not knowing the details - those who walked away from your team took the easy road. Maybe the details would paint a different picture and I apologize ahead of time if my opinion of what I have read offends those who think leaving a team mid-season is the right move. |
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kaytrishjr
45 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 09:10:26
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This is a very sensitive subject.
When we first started out with travel ball, I thought my son would become a part of a great team, form life long friendships, develop chemistry with teammates....and basically live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way. I am the type of mother who preaches about commitment to my kids, I usually never let them quit in the middle of something, I make them see it through to the end. But in baseball, it's become increasingly difficult to do that. Some of it is just pure drama, but this year in particular we joined a team that really was not a good fit for my son. We had parents who weren't as interested in the development of their kids as we were. Coaches and kids who didn't start coming to practice until about two months ago, money and tournament issues...and the list goes on. We actually loved the parents and kids and enjoyed being around them, but it was time to move on.
But, the drama happens and folks leave teams all through baseball season and it's not always the parents that's at fault. Realize that your first commitment is to your son, talk to him about it, then make your decision. Trust me, you'll survive the fallout! |
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reallycoach
64 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 09:30:24
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Only a couple reasons that leaving mid season is a good choice.
Team manager lied during recruiting.
Team manager or coaches are consitently negative carring on, yelling and in general poor sportmanship. ( not a role model)
Team manager is easily influenced by parents, can't make or stick to a decision. This is a big pet peeve of mine. Team manager moves players batting order, field postion and playing time based on complaints by other parents about thier playing time or field postion.
Team manager is constantly bringing in hired guns to win tournaments while sitting his rostered players. This isn't a coach, this is a talent manager trying to fill his or his sons trophy case. |
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 09:49:15
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Well said mom. Do whats best for your son and yourself! Don't worry about what other people will say or think! If people have BAD things to say -----> Guess what?-- they were already saying those things about you or someone else!!!!!! There's ALWAYS two sides to every story! Do what, you gotta do!
quote:
Originally posted by kaytrishjr
This is a very sensitive subject.
When we first started out with travel ball, I thought my son would become a part of a great team, form life long friendships, develop chemistry with teammates....and basically live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way. I am the type of mother who preaches about commitment to my kids, I usually never let them quit in the middle of something, I make them see it through to the end. But in baseball, it's become increasingly difficult to do that. Some of it is just pure drama, but this year in particular we joined a team that really was not a good fit for my son. We had parents who weren't as interested in the development of their kids as we were. Coaches and kids who didn't start coming to practice until about two months ago, money and tournament issues...and the list goes on. We actually loved the parents and kids and enjoyed being around them, but it was time to move on.
But, the drama happens and folks leave teams all through baseball season and it's not always the parents that's at fault. Realize that your first commitment is to your son, talk to him about it, then make your decision. Trust me, you'll survive the fallout!
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barehandit
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 10:42:23
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I am of the mindset that you honor your commitment. The last thing I want to do is to leave a team. I think many marriages fail b/c one party feels unfulfilled, going got tough over money, responsibilities, etc. I think that sports is no different. Yes, I know there will be exceptions (affairs, drugs, criminal activity)
We were supposed to be a Major team. A little drama before the season starts, now we are AAA, 3 kids leave (down to 9 players on roster) doesn't mean all nine are available every weekend, AA now.......for my kid it would be like Chipper Jones playing @ AA. Doesn't help him at all.
ugggggggh!
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Outtahere
43 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 11:10:50
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| Had a bad situation last year....for many reasons. However, we stuck it out although it was painful at times (more for us than our son). I am first and foremost raising a boy to be a responsible (non-quitting) young man. Teaching him to quit when the going gets tough is not a lesson I want to instill. I mean I can't necessarily quit my job on a day, week or even month when things get bad. We decided to take the classy approach and finish things out and move on. On another team with a great coach, families, etc. now and still do not regret the decision. I am not saying that in some situations it isn't OK to move on, but there are WAY too many team jumpers out there these days. |
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TAZ980002
831 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 11:17:12
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| Do what your gut tells you is the right thing for your son. That's your primary responsibility isn't it? We survived my son's 9 y/o season which was tough and decided to leave the comfortable surroundings of his home park after that and haven't regretted it for one minute. My gut told me it was the right thing to do. |
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WPBulls Coach
99 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 11:35:22
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Barehandit,
You have made a commitment to the other 8 remaining boys. Please don't let them down.
A parent meeting with the coach is a top priority, do it now. Ask them what their plan is. Find out if they are recruiting any other players. Scale back tournaments for now if you have to. But if all of the parents and coaches agree to fold the team that is another story.
I understand that your son is much better than the level he might have to play. Try to get him as a fill in on a better team when you aren't playing with your current team. This will be a great life lesson for your son and his teammates. |
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Graniteball
12 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 11:50:19
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Thank you barehandit for bringing up this subject.
I know that there are teams out there that are successful and have played together for many, many years. I also know teams that from Sept to today only have 3-4 of the original players.
My observation is that in the travel baseball world there is a serious 'commitment' issue of staying with a team. I know that teams are run differently but experience tells me that if the financial commitment was also there ...... there would be alot less 'team jumping'. If you invested $800-$1000 up front for your son to play on a team, would you be less likely to leave when the drama started? Would you be more likely to make it work?
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barehandit
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 11:57:59
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There is no reason on this team to lack chemistry. The adults have lack of chemistry. It matters if the kids have chemistry. The kids are oblivious and just want to play ball for goodness sake. Mostly they don't even care where they play. Kids don't need to. They learn the game from all positions. Now I'm fielding questions from my kid about why coach did this? Why did blahblah quit and blahblah and now another blahblah.? It's embarrassing getting run ruled mom. We play 3 games every tournament mom, lose all 3 and we go home. He knows he is better than that. I keep telling him. You are better than that. 3 hits, struck out nine, no errors, 2 SB, 3 hits were ground balls and with better D could have been an out, no mental errors. Always the good stuff.
Ethic says stay, but emotion says go. |
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Gwinnett
791 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 12:27:30
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| Trust your gut it knows! |
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Spartan4
913 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 13:01:11
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I would never allow mine to play AA if he was a major player.....This is honestly a TOUGH situation you are dealing with, especially if your son pitches. Playing down will build some confidence at the plate, but I have seen many boys begin to shy away from pitching due to errors behind them. There really isn't a right or wrong answer here as the decision is yours, just remember the grass isn't always greener!! Good luck and I hope you find a spot where your son can thrive.
Bandit_Hawk, I'm still VERY VERY thankful you decided to get away from the home park!! That 10U year sure was a lot of fun, see you in Charlotte. |
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jongamefan
218 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 13:24:26
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BARE: hate to say it but this is yet another example of selfish parents running off a good coach in our baseball community .
ME I would grit teeth and play it out for 2011 then get out life is too short
if your son is any the caliber of player you say then sure dont need to coach his team - let him go on his own he will thank you later !! |
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Scorekeeper
35 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 15:03:26
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Sometimes things change. Sometimes what you thought was going good on year 3 and saw lasting til middle school turns into the most amazing head scratching moments of negative change. Where did the drama come from? Why? What purpose when there had been zero to none? Beats me.
Sometimes parents and coaches you thought were your committed friends in this world of travel baseball change directions or become less committed or have a drama moment. Sometimes you find the parents of the kids you have watched grow up from clueless 7's to highly skilled 10's have had some deep seated aversion to you the entire time. Who knew?
What decision to make on leaving/staying? Beats the heck out of me too. Kids love each other, and are getting it done at a high level together.
Is the travel experience about the kid only? Is the travel experience about good times for both the parent/coach and kid player? A once in a lifetime experience of "hey Dad, remember when we....."?
I thought I knew. Now I don't. |
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Hiredgun
44 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 15:54:03
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WP Bulls Coach was dead on the money. It is time for a parent meeting to lay all the cards on the table......to find out what the rest of the group wants to do. The season is still young and for those that want to go a different path let them go. As for you, take care of your son and do what is best for him. Remember, this meeting is the time to call a spade a spade and let your feelings be known.
You will feel 100% better if you do this. Don't leave the meeting wishing that you had done this or done that. A mandatory meeting is in order. Good Luck. |
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barehandit
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 19:46:36
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We are financially committed. We paid the full fee up front. We are lucky in that capacity. I don't have time for fund raising. I'm better off packing my lunch and saving 10$ than bothering other people to pay our way. No worry about walking away from $. I'm not sure if the other families were fully vested.
If we stay the team will have to play down and then so my son. Or we'll get our cans kicked "faking up" to AAA. I'm feeling "life lesson" here. I'm staying out of the drama. It did not affect me, nor were we involved. However, I know the situation was unnecessary and due to a volatile situation where a curbed tongue would have been harder for the man, but better for the team.
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barehandit
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2011 : 19:54:49
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| BTW,We are not involved with the coaching at all. We are paid participants. The coaching staff remains the same. The players and kids left b/c the coaches actions. Right or wrong to leave, the coaches action was wrong. Probably 8 players left. |
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22202
263 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2011 : 11:49:04
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quote:
Originally posted by barehandit
BTW,We are not involved with the coaching at all. We are paid participants. The coaching staff remains the same. The players and kids left b/c the coaches actions. Right or wrong to leave, the coaches action was wrong. Probably 8 players left.
Can you elaborate on the actions without giving away what team you are with or call someone out? Might be easier to understand and compare to other "drama moments". |
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ramman999
241 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2011 : 12:20:52
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quote:
Originally posted by barehandit
I am sure someone must have some experience in this department. I'm sad to say I have to even ask for opinions. We had several parents pull their kid from the team this weekend, enough kids that fielding a team is a serious concern, never mind a team that can even win in AA never mind a higher level. It was not due to baseball related anything.
Barehandit -
I've gone through something similar to what you've alluding to.
Feel free to email me as I will not post the particulars of our experience, but I might be able to help you through our should have would have could have's |
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