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| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Cherokeeplayer |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 08:56:48
Is this typical behavior? I, as a parent, have taken the time to get my son to a tryout, he tries out, coach tells all parents "I will be in touch over the next few days with all of you", but then there is no further contact.
If a player isn't what you are looking for shouldn't the coaches have the decency to say "Thank you for attending the tryout, we are going in a different direction, but we wish you luck in your search."
Or maybe even "We haven't decided on a direction yet, can you bring your son back so we can look at him again?"
Is that so hard? What is with all the non-contact? |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| CaCO3Girl |
Posted - 09/29/2015 : 10:35:33
quote:
Originally posted by turntwo
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl
Since a majority of us parents wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our kids and their ability I for one would like to know why my son didn't make a team. The main reason is so my son knew what to work on.
<edit: we would work on things and try again>
I wouldn't let what a coach said about my son's ability "piss me off". If he couldn't see my son's value then too bad for him. We have already run across a team my son tried out for that never got back to us and the coach expression let me know that he knew he had let a good one go. What's the point in being ticked, it's their loss, not yours.
Was this meant to be full of irony?
You admit to parents having "rose colored glasses" and just want to know why. Yes, very reasonable, and even commendable, that you'd want to work with him to get him better... BUT, then you end your comment, with what sounds like venom... "I wouldn't let what the coach said piss me off" <YET> "If he couldn't see my son's value then too bad for him." Him who? Too bad for coach? Too bad for your son? IF coach, then that sounds like nothing more than sour grapes. I mean, you say, don't get pissed, but you sound pissed with your statement. Is it REALLY the 'coach's loss' if your son doesn't fit his need, or that he isn't at the caliber of the rest (re: your rose colored glasses comment)?
I agree, don't get worked up. There have been THOUSANDS of posts about 'what level' my son should play (Major, AAA, AA, etc). If your son doesn't make a Major team, oh well, don't get pissed, don't have sour grapes, go find another Major, or AAA team. Besides, wouldn't you want to make the Major and have limited playing time? Or a AAA team where you rarely sit?
Back on topic, some are either: 1- cowards (who don't want to be the bearer of bad news), and/or 2- inconsiderate.
Since you asked, it wasn't meant to be full of irony (if that word is applicable), but it does cover two topics that I probably should have separated better.
1. I would want a coach to tell me why my son didn't make the team so I could remove my rose colored glasses. There are far too many parents out there that think their kid is amazing at hitting/fielding/pitching/catching. The reality is usually that they are uneducated on what makes a good player and are taking facts out of context. For example, "Wow, your kid had an OBP of 0.700 last year, wow, he must be great...oh, you didn't mention that was during rec ball, in the fall, with zero travel players playing, while the coach pitched to him."....changes things a bit doesn't it people?
2.Maybe your kid didn't have his wow factor on while trying out for the team he really wanted to be on. Kids have off days, it happens, and many times we as parents don't know what a coach is looking for and shouldn't get pissed if a coach doesn't pick our kid for their team. The adult thing to do is to ask what the kid needs to work on, or simply say "thank you for your time, maybe we will see you next year." I think it's important to remember this is a YOUTH GAME, little Timmy's 9u team will have zero bearing on the rest of his life therefore parents need to chill out. Do coaches make mistakes and let good ones go, YES, every year, but if that happens it is their loss. I would tell my kid to buckle down, work on his game, and try again next year. I would not tell him the coach is an idiot or make up a random comment about that coach not liking people who weren't rich, or tell my kid he didn't make the team because the coaches kid plays his primary position. I would tell my kid to work harder, I would not give him excuses.
A coach I know told me this story. A 12 year old who had just finished a spectacular 12u season on a AA/AAA team decided to skip over AAA and go for 13u Major. His biggest asset was his bat, but it didn't impress the 13u coach. Thankfully this coach was a decent guy and he gave it to the parent straight. He said something like "Your kid does hit bombs, but he doesn't do it through proper mechanics, he does it through brute arm force without using the lower half of his body, and what were over the fence in 12u will be in the left fielders glove at 13u. I am looking for Major players, not projects. I see his potential, but he's not at this level yet." The parent got BEYOND livid and he actually took a swing at the coach. Needless to say his kid didn't make it far and funny enough lost interest in baseball and took up football. |
| Crazyforbball |
Posted - 09/28/2015 : 18:49:33
Are you talking about high school ball or a high school age travel ball? If high school I don't have any advice there.. not there yet, lol! Sorry you are getting the run around like that Cherokee....I agree a simple "no thanks" or "be patient" would sum it up nicely. |
| turntwo |
Posted - 09/28/2015 : 18:35:32
quote:
Originally posted by CaCO3Girl
Since a majority of us parents wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our kids and their ability I for one would like to know why my son didn't make a team. The main reason is so my son knew what to work on.
<edit: we would work on things and try again>
I wouldn't let what a coach said about my son's ability "piss me off". If he couldn't see my son's value then too bad for him. We have already run across a team my son tried out for that never got back to us and the coach expression let me know that he knew he had let a good one go. What's the point in being ticked, it's their loss, not yours.
Was this meant to be full of irony?
You admit to parents having "rose colored glasses" and just want to know why. Yes, very reasonable, and even commendable, that you'd want to work with him to get him better... BUT, then you end your comment, with what sounds like venom... "I wouldn't let what the coach said piss me off" <YET> "If he couldn't see my son's value then too bad for him." Him who? Too bad for coach? Too bad for your son? IF coach, then that sounds like nothing more than sour grapes. I mean, you say, don't get pissed, but you sound pissed with your statement. Is it REALLY the 'coach's loss' if your son doesn't fit his need, or that he isn't at the caliber of the rest (re: your rose colored glasses comment)?
I agree, don't get worked up. There have been THOUSANDS of posts about 'what level' my son should play (Major, AAA, AA, etc). If your son doesn't make a Major team, oh well, don't get pissed, don't have sour grapes, go find another Major, or AAA team. Besides, wouldn't you want to make the Major and have limited playing time? Or a AAA team where you rarely sit?
Back on topic, some are either: 1- cowards (who don't want to be the bearer of bad news), and/or 2- inconsiderate. |
| Cherokeeplayer |
Posted - 09/28/2015 : 11:45:19
quote:
Originally posted by Crazyforbball
It's pretty cut and dry I think.. if they say they will call and don't within a couple of days, (if you didn't already receive an on the spot offer), then it's a pretty safe bet your boy didn't make the cut, esp. if it's one of the "better" teams. What they should probably say is IF you make the team you will hear back from us in a certain amount of days then no one is left hanging if the call doesn't come through and the coach is not obligated to make 30 "no" calls. But remember, it's not always that your kid isn't "good enough" .. it may just be that the team is already stacked with the type of player he is (i.e. infielders) and it's the OF, catcher, etc. they are looking to fill. Unless you or your player are very specific for example that your 2B is eager and willing to take RF to be on the team.
I hear what you are saying Crazyforbball, but that advice didn't work for us either. I had my son try out for one of the high teams, just to see. The coach said he'd be in touch, he didn't call or email. I texted him after a week and asked if my son was still under consideration and the coach said that he was but they were trying to keep the tryouts small and it was taking a long time to get through all the kids and they would be in touch on Monday. This sounded reasonable, I thanked him for replying to the text and told him I would be happy to bring my boy back out for another look if he wanted. Never heard from the man again, like I said, what is with all the non-contact? |
| Crazyforbball |
Posted - 09/26/2015 : 23:59:14
It's pretty cut and dry I think.. if they say they will call and don't within a couple of days, (if you didn't already receive an on the spot offer), then it's a pretty safe bet your boy didn't make the cut, esp. if it's one of the "better" teams. What they should probably say is IF you make the team you will hear back from us in a certain amount of days then no one is left hanging if the call doesn't come through and the coach is not obligated to make 30 "no" calls. But remember, it's not always that your kid isn't "good enough" .. it may just be that the team is already stacked with the type of player he is (i.e. infielders) and it's the OF, catcher, etc. they are looking to fill. Unless you or your player are very specific for example that your 2B is eager and willing to take RF to be on the team. |
| CaCO3Girl |
Posted - 09/25/2015 : 09:01:20
Maybe I'm just too logical, I can't see being upset about my son not making a travel team. It's like being upset that a boy/girl doesn't want to go out with you. You can't MAKE them want to, I think the police get involved at that point. :- )
Why waste your energy on being mad some under 13u coach doesn't want your kid? Like there aren't 500 other teams out there, like within 5 miles? |
| C. MORTON |
Posted - 09/24/2015 : 16:09:12
quote:
Since a majority of us parents wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our kids and their ability I for one would like to know why my son didn't make a team. The main reason is so my son knew what to work on.
If he was told he was too small then I would tell him that and when he hit his growth spurt I would ask him if he wanted to try out again.
If he was told he didn't hit well enough then I would think that would make him work harder in the cages.
If he was told his fielding needed improvement I would assume he would want to get out and field about a million ground balls and pop flys.
I wouldn't let what a coach said about my son's ability "piss me off". If he couldn't
see my son's value then too bad for him. We have already run across a team my son tried out for that never got back to us and the coach expression let me know that he knew he had let a good one go. What's the point in being ticked, it's their loss, not yours.
Thats what some of us parents do.... We had kids that got cut and parents were upset... Parents get upset with or without an answer.. Bad mouth coaches and teams with or without an answer... It's what some parents do... Same reason as why parents want to know why he didn't make a team... Maybe coaches should just say we just decided to go with a different player... Keep it vanilla and move on..if you player Desmond make a team just move on... At a certain age you should be able to look at the other kids trying out and judge if your player is on the same level... Either way coaches are choosing to do it their way... When I coached we were going to do this same practice because they year before parents wanted to know why and when you tell them they got upset...
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| CaCO3Girl |
Posted - 09/24/2015 : 08:44:22
quote:
Originally posted by C. MORTON
All of this here is why coaches don't get back with parents... Our teams coaches say we will let those that have made the team know by 6pm, if you don't get a call good luck... Like someone else says do you really want to know the real reason he didn't make it????? Had a coach tell me my son was to small to play 11u major... Had kids on the team same size and kids that weren't as good.... Did it piss me off??? You bet it did, but a friend told me there are plenty of other places to play!!! Why worry about one team when there are so many teams out there.... Not all are going to be majors, but one should be more worried about if the coach is good or not...
Since a majority of us parents wear rose colored glasses when it comes to our kids and their ability I for one would like to know why my son didn't make a team. The main reason is so my son knew what to work on.
If he was told he was too small then I would tell him that and when he hit his growth spurt I would ask him if he wanted to try out again.
If he was told he didn't hit well enough then I would think that would make him work harder in the cages.
If he was told his fielding needed improvement I would assume he would want to get out and field about a million ground balls and pop flys.
I wouldn't let what a coach said about my son's ability "piss me off". If he couldn't see my son's value then too bad for him. We have already run across a team my son tried out for that never got back to us and the coach expression let me know that he knew he had let a good one go. What's the point in being ticked, it's their loss, not yours. |
| C. MORTON |
Posted - 09/23/2015 : 19:05:58
All of this here is why coaches don't get back with parents... Our teams coaches say we will let those that have made the team know by 6pm, if you don't get a call good luck... Like someone else says do you really want to know the real reason he didn't make it????? Had a coach tell me my son was to small to play 11u major... Had kids on the team same size and kids that weren't as good.... Did it piss me off??? You bet it did, but a friend told me there are plenty of other places to play!!! Why worry about one team when there are so many teams out there.... Not all are going to be majors, but one should be more worried about if the coach is good or not... |
| LAMAN |
Posted - 09/11/2015 : 07:21:49
most of these so called coaches think "THEY STAND ABOVE US" they lost the fact that baseball is a game and it is "ALL ABOUT KIDS HAVING FUN" This happens at all levels and ages I would love to put these coaches in a room with all the kids they have hurt. |
| Cherokeeplayer |
Posted - 09/09/2015 : 11:34:35
I had to bring back this topic to laugh. The main offender I originally posted about sent me an email last week to ask if my son was still looking. This is the same man who shook my hand and said they would be in touch, didn't contact me for a week, or return my email when I checked up to see if they needed more time.
The second worst offender, similar story, is now posting that they are desperately searching for anyone with pretty much my sons background.
Here is a clue to all the coaches out there, get back to people when you say you will, and quit being so darn picky about this SUPER team you plan on forming. By the time you realize all the players you want they will be gone due to YOUR non-verbal skills. Is it really so hard to just say "I'd like to see you back for a second look"? |
| bballman |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 16:41:46
quote:
Originally posted by aj94
There are many legit options out there, don't let these few bad apples ruin the experience for your kid.
^^^^ This!! |
| hshuler |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 16:09:14
Lol @ Renegade! |
| aj94 |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 14:58:26
Seems to be a game they like to play...just had to email one after he didn't call when he said he would...major red flag. Many of these teams are seeking parents that are just willing to pay regardless of talent.
I had other teams inquiring about my son which is the only reason I emailed the guy to see what the deal was, him and his son acted like they were doing me favor...the talent at the tryout was below par and I was actually doing them a favor by considering letting my son play for them simply because the location was convenient.
There are many legit options out there, don't let these few bad apples ruin the experience for your kid. |
| Renegade44 |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 14:33:19
It goes something like this:
20 kids at tryout, need 3 to make the team.
Coach identifies the 3, offers them that night or next day.
Wait on those three. Get 1 in end.
Move on to second batch. Repeat.
Get one.
Move on to third batch. Repeat. Get one, lose 1 previous.
Throw hands up and think now I'm 10 deep from tryout pool and only netted 2 players. One who can help, one a project.
Re-sort thru the last 10 kids you never really wanted in first place. Find out which ones can best help from the bench. Call a couple. Take the best of the worst for a warm body and $check.
Ignore the other 8 because #1 it was beyond me why you even tried out and are scared of ball and #2 because I can't be politically correct in saying you should not play baseball anywhere and #3 because last time I tried to be nice on the letdown I got cussed out.
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| smich3 |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 12:29:36
Ha CaCO3Girl, I think we were at the same tryout :) After having had an experience being strung along, yes probably because the coach wanted to lock in the perceived studs first, I appreciate the philosphy. |
| CaCO3Girl |
Posted - 07/20/2015 : 11:30:45
I think everyone is trying to lock up the studs, and the studs are waiting on their #1 team to call and stringing along the coaches. I took my son to a tryout yesterday where the coach flat out said "If I offer you a spot you have 24 hours to decide, after that I'm calling the next kid on the list that actually wants to play for me"....see....that sounds simple enough, hopefully it cuts own on the time frame too. |
| whits23 |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 20:40:25
At our HS the coach told Kids face to face and like some mentioned talking to parents is hard as the debate begins and it is not usually winnable without hurt feelings, But the topic seemed to be directed at young travel ball kids under 12. |
| bfriendly |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 17:30:03
quote:
Originally posted by baldy87
I agree that IF THEY SAY they're going to contact everyone, then they probably should. But here's a couple of counter-points to consider:
1. When you get to high school, there is no contact. Either the player's name is on the "you made it" list - or it's not. Plain and simple. Might as well get used to it.
2. Who really wants to have the conversation on WHY someone didn't make a team? I know the coach doesn't want to have it, because they don't want to end up in an argument with most parents who think their kid hung the moon. As a parent, do you really want to hear that your son is too small - has a weak arm - doesn't hustle - has a weak bat - is slow afoot - has a poor attitude - etc, etc - whatever the reason was that the coach saw? Do you really want the coach to be blunt? I don't think so. I think that would be painful to hear. 99 times out of 100, it's going to be for a pretty valid reason - not just that the player happened to have a bad day that day. Most coaches can look past the results at the tryout and look at technique and make a determination pretty quickly about whether a player is a good athlete with potential or not - and whether he's coachable or not. Personally, as a parent, I don't want to hear why you don't want my son on your team. Goodness knows there's enough teams out there, and he'll find one where it's a fit.
You said it first....If they say they will contact, they should...EOS
Then at High school, that list IS the contact. It is the closure, or the beginning perhaps. But it IS the Contact.
Many folks would like to know why......I would.
Then we can tell our kids, Straight up! Sure there are other teams, hopefully....Better work hard blah blah blah. Reward with Effort while taking honest criticism? Or everyone gets a trophy?
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| bballman |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 17:24:36
quote:
Originally posted by baldy87
I agree that IF THEY SAY they're going to contact everyone, then they probably should. But here's a couple of counter-points to consider:
1. When you get to high school, there is no contact. Either the player's name is on the "you made it" list - or it's not. Plain and simple. Might as well get used to it.
This example you gave is a good example of there being contact. At least the players know who did and didn't make the team in a timely manner. Usually within a day or two of the end of the tryouts.
I'm a big stickler for communication as well. I, personally, think it is rude for a coach, or anyone else for that matter, to not respond in a timely manner. That being said, I think what a lot of these coaches are doing is waiting to hear from their first choices before they discount any of their options. In other words, the coaches generally know later that night, after tryouts, who they want to have on their team. They have probably already extended the offer to them either that night or the next day. More than likely, that player or those players have told the coach they have a couple other tryouts to go to, so they will let him know. The coaches have their next tier of players that they will offer to, but they need an answer from their first choices before they tell those kids "no". I do agree with others that they should send out some kind of notification that decisions haven't been made yet, hang in there.
On the other hand, some coaches are just bad with communication. If you email or call the coach and he doesn't respond and you are offended by that, I'd rule that team out. Because more than likely, that's the way that coach is going to be all season. If it frustrates you now, it will frustrate you for a whole year - and who needs that?
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| baseballdandy |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 16:22:25
bfriendly and I were obviously typing at the same time and on the same page. |
| baseballdandy |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 16:15:50
I get that there can be a fine line of how much access/permission a coach can give to the parents without having a small few overstep some boundaries. However, this issue really bothers me because THESE ARE KIDS! Communication is so important on many levels but when you are dealing with kids, I do believe a higher level of consideration and courtesy is due from ALL adults involved in the process. It is part of being an example and showing the same respect that you expect the player to give. Even a simple measure of letting them know that "the process is still ongoing and to please be patient in the best interest of the team selection" can be enough. Furthermore, a standard and consistent check in on most matters is really all that is needed for most gossip, worry or ASSumption be avoided. And, please, Coaches, go ahead and cut the kid loose if you know he's definitely not a fit. Let him deal and move on. |
| baldy87 |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 16:05:03
I agree that IF THEY SAY they're going to contact everyone, then they probably should. But here's a couple of counter-points to consider:
1. When you get to high school, there is no contact. Either the player's name is on the "you made it" list - or it's not. Plain and simple. Might as well get used to it.
2. Who really wants to have the conversation on WHY someone didn't make a team? I know the coach doesn't want to have it, because they don't want to end up in an argument with most parents who think their kid hung the moon. As a parent, do you really want to hear that your son is too small - has a weak arm - doesn't hustle - has a weak bat - is slow afoot - has a poor attitude - etc, etc - whatever the reason was that the coach saw? Do you really want the coach to be blunt? I don't think so. I think that would be painful to hear. 99 times out of 100, it's going to be for a pretty valid reason - not just that the player happened to have a bad day that day. Most coaches can look past the results at the tryout and look at technique and make a determination pretty quickly about whether a player is a good athlete with potential or not - and whether he's coachable or not. Personally, as a parent, I don't want to hear why you don't want my son on your team. Goodness knows there's enough teams out there, and he'll find one where it's a fit. |
| bfriendly |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 15:52:45
quote:
Originally posted by LittleDawg
Unfortunately, more often than not, common courtesy tends to be lacking.
We've seen a lot with all of my boys over the years.
I think after spending anywhere from 2-4 hours at the field, Parents appreciate some level of feedback, especially if you say "We'll be in touch"
The hardest part is the not knowing. My middle son experienced this a few years ago when the coaches said they'd "be in touch soon". Each day, my son would ask "Did they call?" It was heart-breaking. One year he really wanted to be on one particular team. Had a great tryout and the coach pulled the "We'll be in touch" card. A week went by, no contact, all the while my kid is asking if he called. About 12 days later I get the call. "We'd LOVE to have you son join the team, he is perfect fit" I put my son on the phone to talk to the coach when he said "Thanks for the offer Coach, but I've accepted an offer with another team"
I don't want to knock all programs because some coaches do an excellent job. They will call or email and say thanks for coming out. They know that kids skills change from year to year and you never know when your paths cross in the future.
We've had other teams assign #'s to the boys and post or email the #'s that were invited back and the ones that were not, were again, thanked for their time. Some also explain that while the kids has skills, it's not what fits the team needs. While it may not be a personal conversation, it does provide a level of "closure"
Coaches....it's not that hard....just be honest (to a point) and contact people
^^^^^This. not much to add. Cept Maybe, just maybe some coaches sometimes forget what Important figures they are in a childs life. They will have an impact and they do mean something important to every child they come in contact with. Even if it is for brief moments like a tryout. It will be long enough for a child to develop an opinion............trust me
Yes, We bring our with the expectation or sole demand for them to be Listening, paying attention(yes redundo) and showing respect to the coach. Then we want them to give your best blah blah
Coaches are the teachers you Never Forget |
| whits23 |
Posted - 07/16/2015 : 15:38:22
at age 12 and over I have a conversation with each kid at the end of tryout and explain exactly where they stand. At age 12 under I do same with parent listening and parents can ask questions,
Most times if I like a kid they get an offer on spot and 48 hours to accept or deny, I do not hold them hostage and expect the same, If the spot is still open and they want it they may come back,
On the flip side coaches often are told "we have a few more tryouts to go and will let you know". Some do some do not
I suggest do not tryout for teams you are not ready to accept an offer from as it is a waste of time and now days money, Do not hold a tryout if you are not ready to offer spots,
always know ahead what positions are open and how many kids the coach will take,
as a kid is college age recruiters are like girlfriends. If they ain't callin you ain't the one, |
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