| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| BatChipper |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 20:48:42
Lets pretend you email a coach, who was having tryouts, about some info on tryouts and talked to him on the phone about the player interested in trying out. His goals, what positions he plays, why you want to make a switch and was told nothing would be said. Then you find out that the coach was sending your emails and talking on the phone to coach you are playing for this year. How would you handle the situation? Would you not let it bother you, since you were planning on making the switch anyways. What about the coach who said he wouldn't say anything, then he does the email thing. Thought this would be a good topic since we are in the team switching time of year.
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| in_the_know |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 10:57:03
quote:
Originally posted by bkball
I remember a friend telling me his high school coach talked about parents not coaching from the stands I still see players looking into the stand during games like they are trying to see what dad is saying instead of just pitching, or just hitting.
The dad who's son was playing on the high school team said he still had signals he would send to his son from the stands, reminding him of certain keys when hitting. I told him at this point and level his son needs to be able to make his own adjustments and not have to rely on dad.
Here's the best part about that in HS, though. Most kids DON'T want dear old dad coaching, etc., so it becomes real easy for Jr. to "miss" any signals being sent in by Pop's. Dad may think he's still calling the game, he's probably not effecting the input like he thinks he is.
Regardless of what dad thinks, his kid has likely already moved on beyond him, cut the apron strings, and is allowing the illusion to exist to placate dad.
Remember, it's not just the HS/older age travel coaches that are happy to see the coaching end from the stands. |
| bkball |
Posted - 07/24/2012 : 09:50:43
I remember a friend telling me his high school coach talked about parents not coaching from the stands I still see players looking into the stand during games like they are trying to see what dad is saying instead of just pitching, or just hitting.
The dad who's son was playing on the high school team said he still had signals he would send to his son from the stands, reminding him of certain keys when hitting. I told him at this point and level his son needs to be able to make his own adjustments and not have to rely on dad. |
| PeachFuzz |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 23:47:08
Yep. That's the one. I'd rather know (or at least assume) that the coach is equally standoff-ish with everyone. Rather than wonder which dad he's off playing golf with. Obviously, I cannot speak about all High School coaches, but I've watched ours fairly closely for the last 3 years. I'm by no means saying the guy is perfect, but I have never been able to point to specific instances where he was obviously playing the wrong kid at the wrong position. Are there times where I thought the defensive alignment was not quite right? Sure. I'm sure every fan had their own ideas where certain kids should be playing. But we never had studs riding the pine, and we rarely had scrubs playing defense. He's pretty good about getting kids innings, but when it comes to region games, he plays the best 9. Mine was a soph last year who spent time with the varsity. Did I want to see my kid on the field more with Varsity? Sure. But even I knew that there were upperclassmen players who were going to get the lion share of innings. My player got tons of innings with JV, which (even though I felt he had varsity talent) was the correct move on the coach's part. Again, I'd rather know the coach takes a "don't call me, we'll call you" approach rather than know that he is willing to entertain squeaky wheels. |
| Card6 |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 22:04:56
The speach that our High School coach gave to the parents. Do not call me and try to talk to me about your kid or playing time. This concludes our only parents meeting. Enjoy the season from the stands. |
| touchemall |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 16:59:44
You mean the days of watching coach/dad allow his son to "pitch out" of a ten or eleven run inning will be over? |
| PeachFuzz |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 16:06:37
Hurricane...you hit the nail right on the head. My son is a rising junior, and ever since he played 8th grade feeder ball for his HS (14U), the coaches (both HS and travel) have made their philosophies regarding the player/coach relationship and dealing with parents perfectly clear. At this level, that is the way it has to be. It has to be a player/coach thing that parents stay out of. |
| Hurricane |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 14:00:19
I know in high school and college coaches don't care about a parent and I have a feeling at 14 and up they don't care either. They want ball players and coaches at that level should have no problem saying your son is good but you are killing it for him, keep your mouth shut or he will be let go. |
| spliter |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 08:35:20
Agree... I personally know of four parents that are going to the ECB tryouts that dont have a snow balls chance in getting their son on a team because of what you said about little johnny's parents.
quote:
Originally posted by spike
Qickest way out of travel baseball!!! Never talk about ex-coach not only will you have to change teams but he will do his best to share with all his buddies so you wont have anywhere to play. Elite travel baseball is a really small circle and guess what most of the coaches know eachother well. No matter how good or bad little Johnny is problem parents are not worth dealing with at any level. Even if a situation is unfair,dady ball,or just plain not right we always use as opportunity to learn. Work harder, be good enough coach has to play you, life lesson etc... Get used to it this is competitve athletics where they keep score on a big score board ( except at ECB) and if you dont agree with your current coach tuff it out never ever allow your child to hear you say anything but thats what the coach wants and hes in charge. This will carry them through many of lifes dificult times.Always remember you are only in charge of what you do and say not anyone else and if its that bad everyone else sees it too, don't worry with things you cant control but work hard on the things you can. Michael Jordon got cut in the 10th grade, reckon that inspired him?
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| Canton Chargers |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 07:41:59
Kids should be outside more for a lot more reasons than working out or baseball. Whatever happened to building tree forts, making some money mowing lawns, etc..? Oh yea, they sell kits at home depot now that dads usually put up or hire someone to build it and why mow lawns when dad already bought me my new iPhone, Xbox and S-3 or Prodigy. Lol. We are all guilty of the last one: )
To answer the original question on this thread, coaches should respect the parents wishes on confidentiality, whether they are known problem parents or not. Once a kid shows up to a tryout though, nothing coach can do about word getting out, as people always like to talk. Gossip makes the world go round. That's why all these stupid reality shows are so popular.
Chargers |
| 4bagger |
Posted - 07/22/2012 : 14:08:57
Hats off to your boy on that work effort, impressive.
My kid is outside 24/7 but he does not work THAT hard at baseball. Maybe in a year or two. :) |
| bball2000 |
Posted - 07/22/2012 : 13:52:29
We will continue to do major ball even with its ups and downs. Our kid loves the game, gets up at 6 a.m. every day runs 2 miles, does his own workout routine on his own everyday which includes 250 plus push ups. On off days he is not in front of the tv, he is at the cages hitting or at local rec field practicing with anyone who will go. Nothing replaces hard work. You have to love the game to go on the crazy travel ball ride |
| 4bagger |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 19:41:07
bball2000, you HAVE to be very new at travel or only played at the A/AA level. Things just work differently at the Major/Elite level and if it causes you heartburn then stay away from that level. My son doesn't play Major/Elite because I don't like how the majority of those teams operate so I stay away from them and keep my comments to myself. |
| jacjacatk |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 17:52:35
quote:
Originally posted by in_the_know
First, in response to bball2000, the law of averages leads one to believe that the parents are the cause of most of the problems. If there's an average of 3 coaches per team and an average of 12 players per team, then in a small sample size of 1000 teams you'd have 3,000 coaches and about 24,000 parents (assuming each kid has two parents, on average. Step parents and single parent families would likely make 24k a minimum number). Not saying that there aren't times where coaches cause the problems, because clearly they do, but . . . .
The flip side of this is that one bad coach can ruin the experience for a dozen players while one bad kid/family will have less impact on the other players.
Speaking from experience with only the AA/AAA end of the travel ball spectrum, I know more players who've left the game because of their coaches than because they (or their parents) were bad apples. |
| bballman |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 16:07:48
quote:
Originally posted by bball2000
If the season is over, how are they being sneaky?
I believe the OP stated that he didn't want the current coach to know that he was out looking. I would say that's being sneaky. Sure, if the prospective coach promised confidentiality, he should honor that. But, I just think the existing coach should know what's going on.
No one said you can't go out and look for a new team. However, think about what the existing coach is going through. If he is holding tryouts for new players and he is counting on your son to be there for the next season, he is not recruiting for that spot. If he has 9 known kids coming back and wants 12 on the roster, he is looking for 3 players. If he's counting on your kid because you haven't told him you're out looking, he may have told other players they didn't make the team. Then you quit and he has to find another player. He may have passed on some kids that he would have taken and they are now no longer available. That's not really fair to the existing coach.
Once again, no one's saying you can't change teams - for whatever reasons you want. I'm just saying you should be up front about it. If your not happy with your current team and you want to leave, why would you even care if the coach found out? Why not just leave if your not happy, then go find another team? It's not like there aren't plenty of other teams out there. |
| Canton Chargers |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 13:49:37
Anyone who thinks differently should actually take a team and coach for themselves, rather than talk about the ones that actually do. Then, you can say that it is the coaches fault, not the parents....
PS: Yes, a lot of times, coaches are the parents too, but you all know what we mean. LOL |
| Canton Chargers |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 13:48:21
Hardly ever cut kids, but have cut many parents. When I was young, there were no travel teams and the coaches were respected and the parents ALWAYS backed them up. If I ever came home and whined about my coach or teacher, my old man would have told me to go to them and apologize for being a whiner and to make me work harder. Some coaches should not be coaching for sure, but the majority of them work hard at what they do and committ a lot of their time to your kids. Easy way out to blame coaches, teachers, etc.. for "reality" sometimes. If your kid reads a lot of books, he/ she may do great in reading class. If they play video games and watch spongebob all day, they may fall behind and get a note in their agenda books for failing class or falling behind. We live in a society of excuse makers these days. Yes, it is youth baseball, but if you want to play at certain levels, you will have to earn it just like anything else in life.
Spike, bring it!!! I agree 100%... If a coach is that bad, he will not attract kids/ parents. If the parent is the problem, coach and team will move on. Things always seem to work themselves out, but bad mouthing coaches because your kid sat more than you thought he should or coach played his son at short stop more than he should or more than your kid, will get you a quick ticket onto another team or out of the sport. |
| in_the_know |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 11:55:34
First, in response to bball2000, the law of averages leads one to believe that the parents are the cause of most of the problems. If there's an average of 3 coaches per team and an average of 12 players per team, then in a small sample size of 1000 teams you'd have 3,000 coaches and about 24,000 parents (assuming each kid has two parents, on average. Step parents and single parent families would likely make 24k a minimum number). Not saying that there aren't times where coaches cause the problems, because clearly they do, but . . . .
That aside, I consider the BatChipper's original post and have to assume he's talking about now and not in the middle of the season. If he is talking about now, then there are still teams finishing their season while tryouts for next year are already underway. If it's a foregone conclusion that this player/family is going to move on after the season to seek another team, then there's no issue whatsoever with the family speaking with other coaches about NEXT year. If they fulfill their commitment for this season, in it's entirety, then what's wrong with them beginning the normal process, that's already happening, for next year if it's not interfering with their current team.
As to any coach that would tell a family that their tryout would remain confidential, given the families wishes of not wanting to disrupt the current environment for their child, then going behind their back to tell their current coach what is going one, is a complete violation of trust and, frankly, exposes very weak character. If the coach felt that he needed to discuss something with the kid's current coach, he should approach the family, explain why and either get their blessing or not. If not, then he's left to make a choice of making an offer or not, and the family has to assume any additional risk that poses of their son not making the team. Pretty poor excuse of a coach and man if he's effectively lying to the family about what he would or would not do.
I believe that families have every right, this time of year, to be asking questions about where their child might find the best fit for next season. There may be no guarantee that the kid will make their current team next season and needs to figure out where they need to tryout. Likewise, coaches looking toward improving their team or chemistry for next year is also OK now.
It's that time of year, but regardless, if anyone is inquiring and asks that the inquiry remain confidential, then that wish should be honored. With that in mind, remember, the only way to keep anything a secret is to keep it to yourself. As soon as you share it with one other person, it is no longer a secret.
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| bball2000 |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 11:12:36
If the season is over, how are they being sneaky? Have you not read how many teams are looking for players. Most already have the team set, but waste others time by hosting a tryout. The coaches are always looking for better players, some want teams with the most ELITE. If you do not have chemistry with the players, it doesn't matter how good the kids are, they will not play well together. I don't believe in looking for another team if you already have a team, but a coach shouldn't always be looking for players when he has a full roster. He only opens the door for angry parents and that is when they look elsewhere. It is all about playing time for kids in this age. Most kids do not care where they play as long as they are on the field. If a coach doesn't intend to play a kid then don' t invite them on the team. Such a simple process gets out of control all due to EGOS. Most parents don't go looking for NO reason. The coach needs to look at how things could be handled differently. There are times when you have a bad apple as a parent, but don't take it out on the kids. |
| 3sondad |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 11:03:43
quote:
Originally posted by 4bagger
Can't agree bball2000,
After 20 years in this game the VAST majority of problems are caused by parents.
Coaches most of the time are parents. Wow, what a cauldron.  |
| 4bagger |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 10:21:16
Can't agree bball2000,
After 20 years in this game the VAST majority of problems are caused by parents.
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| bballman |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 09:43:41
Ok, and parents sneaking out the back door of one team to tryout for another team is a good example to set? Not in my mind. If you want to leave a team, for whatever reason, be up front about it. Quit the team you're on and go find a different one that suits your needs. Sneaking behind a coaches back (probably to keep that door open if you don't find something else) is not setting a good example either. Coaches aren't the only ones who need to set a good example.
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| bball2000 |
Posted - 07/21/2012 : 09:11:48
People this is YOUTH baseball. If a coach is so shallow to email private responses, he should NOT be involved with youth sports. At this age it is about developing character and learning the game. You will always have parents who think they have the best kid on the team. You will always have coaches with egos. Let the kids find the right blend with the right group and just PLAY BALL. It is the coaches who create most of the issues not the parents. The kids need coaches who are honest and are of good moral character. When I look back on my years in youth sports I don't remember any scores or games I won or lost, but what sticks in my mind is the integrity and high moral example my coach displayed. It takes a great human being to mold and shape kids for the challenges they will face as adults. Everyone needs to work together, because it is ALL about the KIDS.. |
| bballman |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 23:22:37
I say be up front with your current coach if you are looking to leave his team. Spike is right, most of these coaches know each other very well. They have coached against each other for years and may have even coached together before. Many times, they feel more of an obligation to let their fellow coach/friend know what's going on than to keep a secret for an unknown player. And yes, they may be checking on the family before they take them onto their own team.
Solution - if you are leaving a team, be up front about it. Don't try to be sneaky. Don't try to hide it from anyone. You are asking for trouble by doing this. |
| BatChipper |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 22:12:05
Just want to let people know that this situation hasn't happened to us. Heard of it happening before and just thought it would be a good topic. |
| spike |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 21:46:22
Qickest way out of travel baseball!!! Never talk about ex-coach not only will you have to change teams but he will do his best to share with all his buddies so you wont have anywhere to play. Elite travel baseball is a really small circle and guess what most of the coaches know eachother well. No matter how good or bad little Johnny is problem parents are not worth dealing with at any level. Even if a situation is unfair,dady ball,or just plain not right we always use as opportunity to learn. Work harder, be good enough coach has to play you, life lesson etc... Get used to it this is competitve athletics where they keep score on a big score board ( except at ECB) and if you dont agree with your current coach tuff it out never ever allow your child to hear you say anything but thats what the coach wants and hes in charge. This will carry them through many of lifes dificult times.Always remember you are only in charge of what you do and say not anyone else and if its that bad everyone else sees it too, don't worry with things you cant control but work hard on the things you can. Michael Jordon got cut in the 10th grade, reckon that inspired him? |
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