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 Dads as coaches

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baseballallday Posted - 07/26/2011 : 17:31:24
I have read many posts from people bashing the dads that coach and referring to "daddy ball" as if this is a bad thing. The reality is the majority of boys playing travel baseball would not have a team to play on if it was not for these dads. I will agree there are some bad daddy coaches but what field of employment does not also have some people that give their industry a bad name? These men dedicate MANY hours to spending time with these baseball players, most with a love for the kids and the game. It is time consuming, frustrating, and many more adjectives but done because they want to. Many people are not willing to step up and volunteer to even run a scoreboard for 1 game. Yet these men give up time with their families for the baseball team.

I have heard some of the foulest language directed at boys from some paid coaches. Some of these guys are great also and do it because they love it but don't undercut the dads.

I think these men deserve to be patted on the back and told thank you.
25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
coachdan06 Posted - 07/29/2011 : 10:02:01
over the many years we have seen too many coaches that were dads leave the coaching ranks to get away from the unpleasantness of raving parents who were unknowledgeable disrespectful and pretty much out there just for either themselves and their son . Take your pick

those parents would never dream of doing it themselves and would fail miserably if they did. Its about them and or their son and that's it .

amazing how long these volunteer dad coaches stick around , I would be gone real quick even if being paid for it.

Too bad parents get involved they can ruin it for everyone involved Ive seen it too many times. Kids know it too.
ramman999 Posted - 07/29/2011 : 06:30:33
quote:
Originally posted by baseballallday

And....at the end of a bad game that player has the joy of riding in the car with the coach all the way.......the other kids don't get to know how unpleasant that can be!!



Great point- I never said when we got to the car exactly when the coach hat came off!! LOL. Can't say we haven't "discussed" a few games in the car on the long ride home! He's usually pretty aware about things and I usually let him explain his thought process - like what were you thinking leaving the ball over the plate on an 0-2 count
baseballallday Posted - 07/28/2011 : 18:35:34
It is nice to hear all the support for the Dads that coach out here! It seems so disrespectful on some the posts looking for players that advertise "no daddy ball" here. Again, without these dads coaching there would not be enough teams! RAMMAN999, I think most dads become "coach" on the field to the son/player. And....at the end of a bad game that player has the joy of riding in the car with the coach all the way.......the other kids don't get to know how unpleasant that can be!!
ramman999 Posted - 07/28/2011 : 14:00:51
@ gamefanatic - put me down for a couple dozen of those shirts - I am going to include them in my player packages, LOL!!!

Like ATLDEE said, you can't be dad AND coach on the field, the sooner "Dad" realizes that, the better - I've coached my son off and on for 5 years and he knows that when I step on that field it's no longer "Dad" until we get back into the car.

@ With-a-stick - I love the studs and duds rant. I've definitely adapted my style over the years, and usually on a regular basis as I learn each players motivational keys - there is a time to kick them in the butt, and there is a time to pat them on the head - the best coaches know this, and if they are not capable of doing it, bring on assistant coaches that compliment their style
With-a-stick Posted - 07/28/2011 : 13:07:41
Hey, gamefanatic I'm going to end up wearing 6 t-shirts with all the "clues" I'd like to offer from the stands!

My 2 cents. Almost all the coaches ( Dad's or not Dad's ) I've met and known around baseball deserve high praise for the time and effort needed to field a baseball team. This praise needs to reach to their families who make it possible also. A cheer for the coaches from me.
On the subject:
Daddy Ball is easily identified once you've played on a "Daddy Ball" team. We only know a couple of coaches/managers... out of dozens of teams that we would identify as Daddy Ball teams.

The less obvious victim might be their own son.
Studs & Duds
The stud who knows no other coach is at a disadvantage. They've never dealt with the variety of coaches that his competition has had to learn to work with. Different approaches and styles, the bully, the good cop / bad cop, the calm silent coach. The stud will have to work hard to convince the outsider of his value, the dud though will really have to work. The dud will likely just drop out, the sun is too bright to hide from Coach Hustle! There are all levels of play to match all levels of players, the dud unfortunately is usually way out of Dad's team level and it'll be an awakening to play among their true peers. That's the quit, in most players mind.
kaytrishjr Posted - 07/28/2011 : 11:17:59
quote:
Originally posted by gamefanatic

quote:
Originally posted by ATLDEE

My general rule in which I have coached both football and baseball by is..."On this team you can be one of three things 1. A player 2. A coach or 3. A parent, and in no instance can you be more than one as it pertains to this team." Understanding this simple rules has allowed me to be able to work in any system with any coach.



Good rule for us all... especially those wanna be coaches that are in the stands. Think I'll have a tee shirt made this year: Player Coach Parent Pick one.

Hmmmm. Liking this idea.



I Love it!!!!
gamefanatic Posted - 07/27/2011 : 17:39:51
quote:
Originally posted by ATLDEE

My general rule in which I have coached both football and baseball by is..."On this team you can be one of three things 1. A player 2. A coach or 3. A parent, and in no instance can you be more than one as it pertains to this team." Understanding this simple rules has allowed me to be able to work in any system with any coach.



Good rule for us all... especially those wanna be coaches that are in the stands. Think I'll have a tee shirt made this year: Player Coach Parent Pick one.

Hmmmm. Liking this idea.
ATLDEE Posted - 07/27/2011 : 16:22:21
This is one of the most debated subjects in kids sports in general. I have had the pleaure and discomfort of being on both sides. My general rule in which I have coached both football and baseball by is..."On this team you can be one of three things 1. A player 2. A coach or 3. A parent, and in no instance can you be more than one as it pertains to this team." Understanding this simple rules has allowed me to be able to work in any system with any coach.

As a coach and a parent I understand that once you allow someone to coach your child you cannot contol how, where and when a coach decides to play your child... But you can always decide WHO coaches him the next year... JMHO...

PLAY BALL SUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
silvercityjon Posted - 07/27/2011 : 16:02:01
quote:
Originally posted by gamefanatic

Bravo to all coaches that help our sons. You shape their lives and for some, provide a father figure they don't have or don't get at home. It's a lofty position to be in and 99.9% of the men that coach are awesome.

Unfortunately every group has it's bad apple - that .01% that you just can't get around. We've all seen them on the field and some have played for them. And every coach will tell you they do not play daddy ball and some actually don't!

As parents, we can step back and ask ourselves honestly if this is daddy ball or if it's an easy excuse as to why our precious Johnny is not playing or hitting higher in the lineup. Most of the time the answer will be because it's the easy answer. Our son has played for both - those whose kids were among the worst and still had prime positions - didn't stay there long - and those whose kids where the best on the team and perhaps more abused as an example.

Coaches kids are like preacher's kids - wouldn't want to be one!





I always heard the preacher kids were always so mean from playing with the deacon kids lol!!!
christheump Posted - 07/27/2011 : 15:00:26
quote:
Originally posted by bmoser

I got tired just watching our Coaches do all that work! 83 games, God only knows how many practices...and those dorms at Cooperstown.

The Coach who did most of our batting practice pitching was a workhorse. He threw thousands of pitches, nearly all strikes, while totally soaked in sweat. He was smiling the whole time!

I have never seen a group of Coaches work that hard for that long.

There are a few Daddy Ballers out there, but by 13u you know who they are, and just steer clear of them.

Most Dad-Coaches are great. Choose the Dad-Coaches whose sons are really good players, let the Dad Coaches know you appreciate their hard work, and keep quiet as best you can. If you do those things, your son will have a blast, and he will learn how to play baseball well enough to some day make the Freshman team at his High School, and maybe beyond.






Like x2
TAZ980002 Posted - 07/27/2011 : 14:57:04
To me, calling all Dads who coach "Daddy Ballers" is like saying that all oranges taste good. Some of them do and some of them don't. Depends on a lot of circumstances. Someone stated it well before, if you don't like what the coach is doing, don't have your child play for him. We personally left a Gwinnett county park running as fast as we could after a season of Daddy ball and ended up on a team where a Dad coaches the team but probably sits his son more than any other player on the team. I've actually seen our coach's son sit more championship games than any other player. And his son is the best SS I've seen in the age group he plays !!

Bmoser has the right recipe for finding a good team/coach for your son. How about you post a topic "How to evaluate your team/coach options" for us Bmoser, detailing all of the steps you would do?
momshell Posted - 07/27/2011 : 14:12:29

quote:
Originally posted by bmoser

I got tired just watching our Coaches do all that work! 83 games, God only knows how many practices...and those dorms at Cooperstown.

The Coach who did most of our batting practice pitching was a workhorse. He threw thousands of pitches, nearly all strikes, while totally soaked in sweat. He was smiling the whole time!

I have never seen a group of Coaches work that hard for that long.

There are a few Daddy Ballers out there, but by 13u you know who they are, and just steer clear of them.

Most Dad-Coaches are great. Choose the Dad-Coaches whose sons are really good players, let the Dad Coaches know you appreciate their hard work, and keep quiet as best you can. If you do those things, your son will have a blast, and he will learn how to play baseball well enough to some day make the Freshman team at his High School, and maybe beyond.







Any coach who endure the barracks at Cooperstown deserves a medal! After double bagging our sons' shoes to get them home(seriously thought about throwing them in the trash) I can't imagine enduring that smell x 12. Add to that the bunks, showers and the heat/cold!

gamefanatic Posted - 07/27/2011 : 13:40:58
quote:
Originally posted by bmoser

I got tired just watching our Coaches do all that work! 83 games, God only knows how many practices...and those dorms at Cooperstown.

The Coach who did most of our batting practice pitching was a workhorse. He threw thousands of pitches, nearly all strikes, while totally soaked in sweat. He was smiling the whole time!

I have never seen a group of Coaches work that hard for that long.

There are a few Daddy Ballers out there, but by 13u you know who they are, and just steer clear of them.

Most Dad-Coaches are great. Choose the Dad-Coaches whose sons are really good players, let the Dad Coaches know you appreciate their hard work, and keep quiet as best you can. If you do those things, your son will have a blast, and he will learn how to play baseball well enough to some day make the Freshman team at his High School, and maybe beyond.







We need a "like" button....
bmoser Posted - 07/27/2011 : 12:07:18
I got tired just watching our Coaches do all that work! 83 games, God only knows how many practices...and those dorms at Cooperstown.

The Coach who did most of our batting practice pitching was a workhorse. He threw thousands of pitches, nearly all strikes, while totally soaked in sweat. He was smiling the whole time!

I have never seen a group of Coaches work that hard for that long.

There are a few Daddy Ballers out there, but by 13u you know who they are, and just steer clear of them.

Most Dad-Coaches are great. Choose the Dad-Coaches whose sons are really good players, let the Dad Coaches know you appreciate their hard work, and keep quiet as best you can. If you do those things, your son will have a blast, and he will learn how to play baseball well enough to some day make the Freshman team at his High School, and maybe beyond.



gamefanatic Posted - 07/27/2011 : 11:22:12
Bravo to all coaches that help our sons. You shape their lives and for some, provide a father figure they don't have or don't get at home. It's a lofty position to be in and 99.9% of the men that coach are awesome.

Unfortunately every group has it's bad apple - that .01% that you just can't get around. We've all seen them on the field and some have played for them. And every coach will tell you they do not play daddy ball and some actually don't!

As parents, we can step back and ask ourselves honestly if this is daddy ball or if it's an easy excuse as to why our precious Johnny is not playing or hitting higher in the lineup. Most of the time the answer will be because it's the easy answer. Our son has played for both - those whose kids were among the worst and still had prime positions - didn't stay there long - and those whose kids where the best on the team and perhaps more abused as an example.

Coaches kids are like preacher's kids - wouldn't want to be one!

baseballallday Posted - 07/27/2011 : 09:55:23
My thoughts on "daddy ball" are that not every coach with a son on the team plays daddy ball, especially at the older more competitive levels. Yet, many people lump a Dad coach as automatically playing Daddy Ball. I agree Tribe with you on using it as the justification for their own kid's lack of playing time or chosen position. Coaches admittedly make mistakes and show me a team that every parent agreed with every coaching decision that was made.

Now, that said......there are some coaches out there, that happen to be dads, that my son will never play for again. One in fact that he is not allowed to even go near if he sees him at the ballfield. But, that's how you deal with the bad coaches, you don't play for them again.

If you don't like the coaching decisions,talk to the coach. But, don't blame the coach when your kid has not had a hit in over 8 games and his playing time is diminished and the coach's son is batting in the 300's and stays in the lineup! That's not "daddy ball" but good coaching.
ramman999 Posted - 07/27/2011 : 08:29:41
quote:
Originally posted by gabulldogs

Travel ball is a full time sport and it doesn't pay us dads a full time pay. We do it because we love it and most of us would'nt want to be paid. I LOVE the time I have spent with my son over the years and the players I have had the pleasure of watching grow from small kids to bigger than me and pure ball players. I honestly have to say that the worst part of coaching travel ball has to be the lack of respect that we get from the parents that feel they can always do a better job than us, but never want to get their own team and see how difficult it is to be so imperfect.


Well said. Too many parents who drop their kids off to practice, never work with them during off time think they've earned the right to tell you what you're doing wrong. It is a thankless job, but the reward is seeing the growth in the boys, as players and as young men - sometimes the only structure they get in life is on that ballfield. I love it when I see a kid that I haven't coached in 3 years come up to me and acknowledge me as "coach Pete"

But I think there needs to be clarification. "Daddy ball" refers to preferential treatment of player/players by coaches, not just daddy coaches.. Since the most prevalent abuse of this is among coaches whose son is the beneficiary of this treatment, "Daddy ball" was coined. But it happens everywhere - "politics" and "Daddy ball" go hand in hand.

christheump Posted - 07/27/2011 : 08:22:49
baseballallday... I appreciate the fathers that coach, but I think it is very important to separate the two. Most parents DO appreciate the time that is required to coach a team. But as dmb mentions, it really isnt daddy ball unless the coach feels his kid is ENTITLED to be the stud player on the team, regardless of the fact that his kid is batting 4th and couldnt hit the ball if it were on a tee, or being the ace pitcher while not being able to throw a strike with Eric Gregg's strike zone.

I will also say I usually see daddy ball take place in Rec Leagues more so than with the travel teams.
gabulldogs Posted - 07/27/2011 : 07:24:18
I totally agree dmb350. I still know several that there kids are only able to play travel because dad is the coach. Those poor kids are in for a rude awakening when they try out for high school. They have never had to tryout. I also hate it when the coach(dad) has his son slotted to sit to avoid the daddy ball, but has him slotted in the last inning which we all know in most cases the games never make it that long due to time. But it sure looks good on paper and they can say they were going to sit, but NEVER do.
Tribe Posted - 07/26/2011 : 23:26:10
Most of the "daddy ball" complaints that I've heard through six years of travel ball have come from parents looking for an alibi for their under-performing kids.
dmb350 Posted - 07/26/2011 : 22:44:39
Well, it's not daddy ball unless the coach's kid or friends of the coach (kids) play when better players should be on the field. Or when kids are automatically given a key position because it's dad's team or given MULITPLE opportunities to lose games for teams because the dad coach or friend of dad coach kids make error after error after error with no repercussions. When those kids don't hustle because they know they'll get yelled at but then are starting the next game anyway. Or pitch against teams they have no business pitch against because dad coach wants him to suddenly be better than he's ever been because it's their first ever game against the Astros and then they lose 25-0 and everyone on the team is wondering why that kid pitched at all.

I don't disagree that dads who coach should be commended for the time and effort. It's a tough job (been there and done it) but I think most dads just stay in it too long for the wrong reasons. Having a team so your son has a team to be on is great as long as everyone knows that's the deal. Most won't admit to it though and that's where the problem begins. JMO of course.
gabulldogs Posted - 07/26/2011 : 22:26:42
Trust me, there are a lot of dads out there that have more experience and knowledge than these 24 year old paid coaches. I agree they may be on the same mental level as the kids (14u and up) but, when it is all said and done. If the dads out there are still coaching travel in the older age group, they probably know a lot more baseball than you think. Travel ball is a full time sport and it doesn't pay us dads a full time pay. We do it because we love it and most of us would'nt want to be paid. I LOVE the time I have spent with my son over the years and the players I have had the pleasure of watching grow from small kids to bigger than me and pure ball players. I honestly have to say that the worst part of coaching travel ball has to be the lack of respect that we get from the parents that feel they can always do a better job than us, but never want to get their own team and see how difficult it is to be so imperfect. Thanks baseballday for sticking up for us dads.
DecaturDad Posted - 07/26/2011 : 19:54:28
I agree completely. My son has been fortunate enough to be coached by a great group of dads ever since leaving rec ball. Every fall I stop and think what will be best for my son next year. And every year we return to that great group of dads/coaches. I have no doubt that my son has learned the skills to play at a major level, but more importantly, he has learned the value of team work and commitment.
rippit Posted - 07/26/2011 : 19:36:50
quote:
Originally posted by baseballallday

I have read many posts from people bashing the dads that coach and referring to "daddy ball" as if this is a bad thing. The reality is the majority of boys playing travel baseball would not have a team to play on if it was not for these dads. I will agree there are some bad daddy coaches but what field of employment does not also have some people that give their industry a bad name? These men dedicate MANY hours to spending time with these baseball players, most with a love for the kids and the game. It is time consuming, frustrating, and many more adjectives but done because they want to. Many people are not willing to step up and volunteer to even run a scoreboard for 1 game. Yet these men give up time with their families for the baseball team.

I have heard some of the foulest language directed at boys from some paid coaches. Some of these guys are great also and do it because they love it but don't undercut the dads.

I think these men deserve to be patted on the back and told thank you.



Yep. Some of them.
Gwinnett Posted - 07/26/2011 : 19:28:16
baseballallday, you are sooooo right! I agree it takes alot to run a team on a volunteer salary.

FOR ALL THE DADS WHO VOLUNTEER THERE TIME AND SELF TO ANY TEAM--------THANK YOU VERY MUCH! It is VERY much appretiated!

With that said, there still are a lot of DADDY BALL issues. Thank god I'm not a coach! I know I couldn't handle ALL the issues that take place during a season!

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